We all have areas where we’re knowledgeable, and other areas where we’re… well, not. This is not an issue 99% of the time, but when we decide to start venturing into areas where we really don’t know what we’re talking about, things can go downhill fast.
1. Doing Things By The Book
A woman accompanied her husband to have an optional surgery where he would need general anesthesia. She brought an old, worn-out paperback book with her and requested to speak to the surgical team. We obliged her request—but her demands were jaw-dropping.
It turned out she had a specific list of anesthetic medications she wanted us to use on her husband.
She had seemingly done her "own research" and formed her own "knowledgeable view" on the subject.
However, all the anesthetics she mentioned had been discontinued quite a few years ago because they had severe side effects, or simply because there were now better alternatives available. But, she simply wasn't ready to accept a "no". The best part of all?
When I checked the publication date of her book, I had to laugh. It was published in 1965.
2. Room Service
Guest: "I need a room at your hotel".
Me: "Regrettably, we're fully booked".
Guest: "Isn't there a fancy suite left for any VIPs who might drop by"?
Me: "That's not our policy".
Guest: "What if President Obama strolled in now needing a room"?
Me: "I'd recommend he head right back to his place. Fun fact, it's just a short walk away from here".
Folks, I don't reserve my prime suite simply for high-profile individuals.
If someone has the cash, I'm selling them the room. That's just how businesses operate. It's not like grocery stores squirrel away their top-shelf fruits on the off chance that the President fancies a pear. That's just crazy.
Hotels don't operate on that principle either. So, I kindly ask that we put this myth to rest, okay?
3. Drive My Car
Once upon a time, I worked in Auto Detailing. One of our golden rules was to never pressure wash the engine of a '90s Jaguar. The car's electronics were extremely sensitive and even a tiny bit of pressure could send the instrument panel into an overdrive of flashing lights.
However, such minor information never dissuaded the self-proclaimed "experts".
This one dealer wanted us to clean his fleet of nine Jaguars, so we got to work. When he inspected the engines, he found a speck of dirt on one of them. He instantly lost his cool with me.
He started shouting, so I calmly explained, "I get where you're coming from, but you need to understand that the car's electronics are highly sensitive. Even a little bit of high pressure could set off the instrument panel. We clean the engine by hand using wet rags and cleaner, which sometimes means we might miss a tiny bit because, well, we're human".
Not satisfied, he was adamant to show me how it was done.
He beckoned his porter to bring the car over to the repair side. Feeling self-assured, he got a garden hose and started blasting away. "See! Clean," he shot at me. I agreed, "Absolutely". With a proud look, he turned on the car only for his smile to quickly fade.
Checking the now blinking panel, he turned off the car, stepped out, and offered me an awkward apology.
4. Seeing The Light
I work as a welder. One of the main risks in my job comes from the UV radiation damage to my eyes caused by the vibrant welding arc. It's so blindingly bright that even a quick glance can cause vision spots that last for hours. But, that's a milder issue.
I remember once a person casually suggested that only the first "flash" poses any risk during welding. He claimed that once the arc is struck, you can gaze at it freely without any harm. Well, I'll let him be the one to put that idea into action.
..
5. Tree Huggers
Many years back, I was employed by a tree care company. One day, I received a peculiar phone call. A woman on the other end claimed we had cut down her tree without permission. Let me tell you, that sort of accusation sends your stress levels off the charts when you're in the tree care business.
I decided to look into it and went through our records, but found no record of our team performing any work at her address for the past several years. Stumped, but not entirely convinced, I thought perhaps there’d been some oversight. So, I arranged for one of our team members to visit the location for a check.
Soon enough, I receive a return call stating there was no evidence whatsoever of a recently cut tree, such as a remaining stump, nor did anyone remember working there at all. I figured we must've noted down an incorrect address or interpreted the tree's location erroneously.
However, we were not mistaken in any of these aspects.
The story then took an unexpected twist. The lady altered her claim, now stating that we had removed an incorrect tree branch, leading to excessive sunlight and ruined grass. First things first, grass actually benefits from sunlight.
Secondly, we had removed that specific branch at her request, but that was more than three years ago.
What transpired after that is somewhat blurry. I can’t recall if I continued corresponding with her regarding this issue, or if I chose to focus on explaining our records and timeline. In any case, she eventually stopped pursuing it.
We thought we had heard the last from her, but we were mistaken.
After about six months, we receive another call, it was this same lady. Rather astonishingly, she sought our services for some different tree work, choosing not to even bring up the previous incident. The entire experience was baffling.
6. Showing Us Where It Hurts
Recently, I've completed my medical school journey. Though I wouldn't call myself a master yet, I find it quite amusing that my family appears to believe they have suddenly acquired an abundance of medical wisdom.
Lately, their somewhat quirky belief is that nearly all ailments can be alleviated with laxatives.
Unfortunately, they seem closed off to any suggestions that this might not be entirely accurate...
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7. Bending The Rules
I'm in a job where I deal with law-related compliance in the finance sector, and let me tell you, it's not smooth sailing. I regularly encounter folks that are doing things illicitly or at the very least engaged in ethically wrong activities.
This happens so often, and each time they justify their actions by stretching the rules until they supposedly "fit".
Understanding official text is part of my job. How many bills, laws, and legislative documents have I leafed through? It's very hard to say. I dedicate a significant chunk of my time staying in the loop with all the regulatory modifications that might impact my field.
Despite all this, every day throws me another curveball. For instance, I get calls like this:
Me: "Hi, a client informed me that you've rejected her loan request"?
Her: "Indeed, we don't lend to individuals affiliated with your company".
Me: "I'm sorry, can you explain why that's the case"?
Her: "Our firm's rules don't allow it".
Me: "Could you specify the exact rule that you're referring to"?
Her: "It's a recent regulation".
Me: "May I know the name so that I can look into it"?
Her: She then unexpectedly ends the call.
8. Don’t Give Up The Ship
The story I'm about to tell is about my father, not me. My father served in the Navy and had the opportunity to be on several ships. One of those was the HMS Antelope, where he spent two and a half years. Once, there was a rather amusing incident with my uncle.
My uncle tried to tell my dad about the Antelope's nuclear devices and a lot of other things that were absolutely not true. Curious, my dad asked my uncle where he got such information.
According to my uncle, he had seen the blueprints of the ship which, in all likelihood, should have been top secret.
We were almost certain that he'd made everything up. After all, my uncle is just a floor layer.
9. Fighting Tooth And Nail
I work as a dentist and it always astonishes me how many individuals believe fluoride, found in toothpaste or tap water, is a lethal substance they should ardently avoid.
These folks tend to be the ones who walk into my dental practice, guzzling down Mountain Dew and reeking of smoke.
Is there really any more that needs to be said about this?
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10. I Spy, With My Little Eye
I'm an experienced optician. There was this occasion when a lady got her sons in for an eye check-up with me.
Both her children had extraordinarily high minus prescriptions. But that wasn't the bizarre part.
She was perfectly content with her elder son's glasses prescription and the order, but was upset about her younger son's. Her intention? To order his glasses but make his prescription lesser than the doctor's recommended one.
I tried to explain to her, as politely as I could, that it's not within my power to alter the prescription given by the doctor. That would be considered malpractice and could get me in serious hot water. Plus, it could potentially be very harmful for her younger son's eyesight.
My jaw practically hit the floor at this point.
Despite my explanation, she still argued that the prescription was too high for her son because... "His eyes are like mine, and my prescription didn't fluctuate much from my last year's eye examination. Hence, I don't want his to be that high".
Well, she definitely seemed like someone who has a fine grasp of how vision and prescriptions work!
11. A Hunk Of Junk
My professional life revolves around the buying and selling of odds and ends. Day after day, I confront relentless purchasers who claim to have the upper hand due to their years of experience in this game. They assert they have all the pricing knowledge.
I assure you, I have a good grasp of the real value of things.
Yet, there are always random internet folks who seem to believe their understanding exceeds mine. How can one dispute with market-determined prices on platforms like eBay?
Astonishingly, older gentlemen whom I randomly encounter often insist they can justify any asking price because "it was worth significantly more in the 1980s"!
12. Ring Around The Rosie
As the owner of a jewelry store, there once came a time when a customer left her ring with us for an extended period of over three months.
Despite our countless attempts to gently remind her to retrieve her ring, it was only after a long period that she finally made an appearance. Unfortunately, this marked the beginning of an extremely challenging situation on our end.
Upon seeing her ring, she immediately accused us, in a rather impolite manner, of replacing her diamond.
She adamantly claimed that her original diamond was not the one we had in our possession. Her sudden and unwarranted accusation caught us all by surprise.
In addition to her accusation, she displayed an overwhelming display of anger—the magnitude of which I had never witnessed before. She flat-out rejected our attempts to reason with her and completely disregarded our store's 75-year legacy of providing honest services and maintaining good customer relations.
On a fortunate note, our store is consistent in keeping detailed records. These include the weight of the ring, any inherent flaws of the customer's diamond, and measurements of the diamond, among other factors. Eventually, reality dawned on her that the diamond was, indeed, hers.
The least we expected was a sincere apology for all the trouble that she had caused, not only to us but also to our other esteemed customers.
But this was far from reality. She left abruptly, clearly upset.
13. Lung Live The Queen
I am employed as an assistant to a pharmacist. My supervisor, a trained chemist, once held a conversation over the phone with a lady who firmly believed that to cure her pneumonia, she should use curcumin instead of antibiotics.
Curcumin is the primary active component in the spice turmeric; it's famous for its natural anti-inflammatory properties and is typically used to ease mild discomfort. However, when you're in a predicament where your lungs are filled with a black fluid, indicating serious illness, curcumin alone isn't likely to provide the required healing…
14. Does Not Compute
I handle the upkeep of Linux servers in a cloud network and also use Linux personally on my home computer and laptop.
There's this absurd experience I regularly encounter. It often occurs when I do work in public places.
The moment people see the unfamiliar operating system, like at a coffee shop or wherever, they react by threatening to report me to the authorities, as they're convinced I'm "obviously involved in hacking".
15. A Taste Of Their Own Medicine
In my role as a nurse, I recall having a memorable exchange with a patient's relative.
This particular individual evidently fancied themselves as an expert from the school of WebMD. Inquisitively, they asked "Did the doctor prescribe that? I've heard that overdosing on that medication might lead to light itching".
What I should have responded was, "Yes, the doctor administered this prescription with thorough deliberation over every other possibility". The response I had on the tip of my tongue, however, was quite different:
"Actually, the janitor recommended this. But, he emitted great confidence when he did, so it's likely we're in safe hands".
16. Coming Down The Pipe
As an organist in a church, one Sunday, I was approached by a visitor after the morning service. She expressed her criticisms about the practice of people manually pumping the organ during church proceedings, stating she found it unacceptable.
She felt that they should be focusing on the sermon and prayers, not working the organ.
I calmly explained to her that, in fact, the method of hand-pumping organs phased out several decades ago, replaced by the invention of electric blowers. She was skeptical about what I said until I showed her the machinery placed in the basement.
The machine was actively producing airflow to the organ pipes positioned far above us.
17. Polar Opposites
I've devoted a considerable amount of my career to conducting in-depth studies in both Arctic and Antarctic regions. This is my area of expertise and my primary source of income. I remember once, someone insisted that polar bears prey on penguins.
I had to correct them, stating this was a misconception.
However, the individual became quite defensive and staunchly affirmed, "Yes they do"! There was one key factor this person evidently overlooked. It's simple geography really. Polar bears exclusively inhabit the North Pole, while penguins are solely found in the South Pole.
So...
18. A Day In The Life
I initially set out to become an educator, but ultimately, I chose a different career path. This shift was primarily due to the fact that teaching is quite time-demanding.
That said, it always amuses me when folks pretend to comprehend a teacher's daily routine, when truthfully, they've never even evaluated a single student's assignment, or drawn up a lesson plan adhering to particular state educational norms, or been obliged to acquaint themselves with a fresh syllabus each term, or conducted a single meeting with a parent.
I genuinely believe that a few of these individuals could benefit from gaining some knowledge on this matter!
19. You Are What You Eat
I'm a microbiologist and mammalian biologist specializing in the study of the microbiome, or gut bacteria. I have a friend with a bit of a hippie streak who insists she's allergic to gluten, among many other things.
Periodically, she used to share articles on Facebook about various food additives, touting them as being harmful for health. Two of her posts particularly caught my attention.
One of these was an article about probiotics and "good bacteria," but the article's claims were entirely off. The other discussed an unfamiliar additive that it claimed was used by scientists to intentionally cause gut irritation.
In both instances, I called her out, explaining that, as a scientist studying these very topics, I can confirm that these articles were misleading, even baseless.
I pointed out to her that the highly recommended bacteria in one of the articles simply cannot colonize a healthy human gut due to competitive inhibition.
Additionally, the so-called "science-approved" additive was in reality just an emulsifier. Moreover, none of my colleagues, me included, have ever used it due to its lack of any noted capacity to cause gut irritation. Her reaction irritated me.
She brushed off my careful critique of the articles, labeling them as nothing more than her personal "opinion". I had to clarify, “This isn't about opinions. The facts are incontrovertibly wrong.
This is a case of blatant misinformation”. To cut the story short, she still avoids gluten and all non-organic foods.
Still, I'm thankful that she's stopped spreading misinformation from websites with catchy names like “Food Babe,” “Avocado Wolfe,” and “Eat Local Grown”.
20. Watching The Clock
I work as a hotel manager, and, curiously, a large number of guests frequently assume that our room prices should be altered according to their check-in time.
But that's not how it typically works at any hotel globally. Instead, it solely depends on whether a room has been used or not. We're not keeping an eye on every single second you spend in the room.
Even if the room is used for a short period, housekeeping must still put the same amount of effort as for a full day's stay, and the labor cost remains constant.
It's not like a two-hour stay would cause significantly less mess and only need tidying up. We have to thoroughly clean and disinfect every single item in the room, regardless.
We can't keep track of every item you have touched or used. Hence, we need to clean and sanitize everything, irrespective of your stay duration.
In the past, when a few guests got upset because we didn't adjust their bill according to their stay duration, I explained the situation by comparing it to buying a drink. It's not possible to tell the merchant you only want a sip of the drink and then expect to pay less for it.
Similarly, once the bottle has been opened, it becomes a used product. Likewise, once a guest stays in a hotel room, no matter for how short a period, it becomes a used product. And it remains so until the staff meticulously clean and prep the room for the next guest.
21. Crashing And Burning
Working within the car insurance industry, I come across some real head-scratchers. Just the other day, a friend of mine, fresh from buying a shiny new car, said to me, "This is my car, I think I know how to insure it better than you".
They were keen on having only liability insurance.
But, even though it wouldn’t cover many potential scenarios, what can you do? Shockingly, there was an even sillier interaction I had to make sense of.
My friend, a well-meaning but not so savvy person, explained an encounter with me. She said, "This lady banged my car, but promised to pay the repair costs from her pocket. My dad suggested going along with it.
So, I didn't bother getting any details except her name and her phone number".
This same friend reached out to me for advice after she couldn't connect with the lady involved in the accident. All she had to work with was her limited interaction with the woman, and my expertise as licensed auto and property claims adjuster.
22. A Heavy Load To Bear
I'm in the construction industry. Let me tell you about a recent conversation I had with a rather challenging client.
Client: "We've figured out that the wall you've erected isn't load bearing".
Me: "What makes you say that"?
Client: "Simply based on its appearance".
Me: "In reality, it is a load-bearing wall. Would you like me to show you"?
Client: "We've already concluded it isn't load bearing. Weren't you paying attention"?
23. Dog Days
I find a favorite saying among vets quite relatable:
"Taking veterinary advice from a breeder is like taking women's health advice from someone who exploits women for a living". It constantly amazes me to hear the amount of misinformation these breeders spread.
They often claim that their specific dog breed is extremely allergic to vaccines, worm medications, anesthetics, and so forth, despite a lack of scientific evidence to support these claims.
These individuals frequently direct people to a website run by an amateur where they can find an interview with a self-proclaimed homeopathic expert.
Facing this situation, the pet owner is left in disbelief as to why their unvaccinated dog, who's been treated with a concoction of lemon water, rosemary, and tea tree oil, ends up feverish with a temperature of 104 degrees and is unable to walk.
When I try to explain to them that their dogs have contracted Lyme disease and need treatment, and that this situation could have been avoided with an effective vaccine and preventatives (whether oral or topical), they still sometimes go back to the breeder for advice and a second opinion.
However, I have to stress that a diluted solution of newt eye and arsenic is definitely not a cure.
24. Running The Numbers
As a seasoned family lawyer, I've had countless encounters where a client disputes the child support computation I present them. Often, their basis of comparison is the seemingly lower child support a friend, sibling, or colleague is paying, which leads them to question the fairness of their own calculation—assuming an error on my part. Please let's clear the air; it's not that simple.
The key reason why your child support might be higher is linked to your income level and the fact your kids need daycare. It's essential to understand that child support is not a one-size-fits-all fee, much like parking garage rates.
I've been navigating this field for quite some time, and there's a computerized system to handle these calculations, ruling out any chance of human error.
We're not in the dark ages using crude tools such as tea leaves and an abacus to figure out your payments.
For transparency, I always show clients the calculation process and break down the math. I encourage them to be as informed as possible to avoid any unexpected turns.
I don’t have any issues with clients asking questions to understand the process better—quite the opposite.
I’m more than willing to provide answers and clear up any uncertainties. However, I take issue when clients do not trust my capabilities in handling this matter in the best manner possible.
25. Weathering Some Storms
Hi there, I happen to be a meteorologist. You might find it funny that many folks seem to be under the impression that they could do my job better than I do. What's more, a good number of these folks have no qualms about telling me this directly.
I've heard comments both from people I've just met and clients, as well as from my own family, each offering a strongly-worded opinion on how I'm missing the mark on some random weather-related topic they happen to bring up. And don't even get me started on the global warming debate.
My go-to line is to remind folks that I'm not a climatologist, in hopes of quickly changing the subject. Besides being treated like I don't know what I'm talking about, it's also become apparent that I make an easy target for others to blame for their own misconceptions.
A little while ago, I traveled to Florida to meet my girlfriend's family. Her uncle, who's a pilot, took this as an opportunity to rant about how meteorologists like myself are always messing things up—like predicting rain that never comes, and so forth.
To spice things up, a couple of other family members hopped on the bandwagon.
He even tried to pull the "when I mess up, people could lose their lives; if you mess up, it's just another day at the office" card. Fortunately, I've heard this type of thing before and had my responses all prepared, even delivering a final quip.
"The moment you threw that line at me, I knew you were a pilot since that's what every pilot seems to say". Needless to say, pilots and I aren't exactly best buddies.
26. These Ones Are Out Of This World
In my experience as a professional astronomer, I sometimes encounter people who are very excited about some out-there theory they believe to be factual, even though they don't quite grasp the nitty-gritty of it.
For example, once at a social event, I met a man who was convinced that Einstein's Theory of General Relativity was completely wrong.
When I asked him what evidence he had to back up his claim, he didn't have any relevant examples. Instead, his arguments clearly showed that he misunderstood the theory at its core.
Upon letting him know that without taking into account the principles of relativity, our entire GPS satellite system would cease to function within 30 minutes, he retorted that we have a poor understanding of cosmic rays.
But that's just the tip of the iceberg. Additionally, I have a distant cousin who's full-on into wild conspiracy theories.
He insists we never managed to land on the moon, aliens are the artists behind crop circles, and many such marvels. It seems like every bizarre theory out there, he subscribes to it.
He's even asked me, "But you do admit that we regularly communicate with aliens"?
He gave me a hearty laugh when I firmly said "No," and said, "Ah, I see. You've been bought off by the government too". Let's just say, family get-togethers are always interesting. It's not just this one person though.
My family has Eastern European roots, and I'm acquainted with many immigrants from that region who, for some reason, refuse to believe that humans have ever set foot on the moon. When I present them with an abundance of proof that confirms the moon landing, I'm usually brushed off as a "proudly patriotic American".
I guess some people still hang on to Cold War ideologies and misconceptions.
According to them, if Russia didn't manage it, then the United States couldn't have possibly done it too. The weirdest case I ever encountered was during a vacation when I met a kind retired engineer.
He firmly believed that the Hubble Telescope had snapped a picture of heaven in the sky.
But with such people, my approach is always a polite one. I ask them questions in an attempt to illuminate the inconsistencies in their opinions.
For instance, in this case, I asked, "What would be the heavenly coordinates that they discovered"? And when the conversation enters awkward territory, I divert it to something true and exciting about astronomy.
Admittedly, for this situation, it was rather difficult, but then Venus made a timely appearance at sunset, offering a perfect segue to change the topic.
27. Won’t Someone Think Of The Children!
My wife is a pediatrician with board certification. Shockingly, it seems as if every unschooled grandma around the world deems themselves more knowledgeable about contemporary medicine than she is.
On top of that, it appears that every homemaker mom considers herself more informed about vaccines than my wife.
To top it all off, every dad treats her as if she herself is still a high school student. But, her love for children propels her to continue and disregard the majority of idiotic people.
28. Watch Your Language, Young Man!
As a professor of linguistics at a prominent university, I recently had a curious interaction with a graduate student from the English department. He was confidently explaining to me that French outclasses English when it comes to poetic expression, a claim which I find baseless on many counts.
Things got even stranger when he suggested that iambic pentameter—the rhythm that Shakespeare quite famously used in many of his works—doesn't make for natural speech. I knew exactly what I had to do. To prove him wrong, I proceeded to converse with him in iambic pentameter for the remainder of our chat, and he was none the wiser.
29. Is This A Case Of Ignorance, Or Gross Ignorance?
So, I'm a lawyer. This one time, at a family dinner, there was this ridiculous disagreement. It was about whether someone could really end up losing their home because they sold a defective product in their business. The debate was between the terms "negligence" and "gross negligence".
I asked him to tell me his understanding of these terms, and what I got was a load of utter gibberish!
Funny thing was, as soon as I tried to rectify the misconceptions, he interrupted me and stated, "IT'S MY OPINION". Well, that was the moment I chose to simply ignore his jabbering and focus on enjoying the remaining meal.
Just for the record, this relative constantly finds reasons to discuss the law with me, imagining that his age and white-collar status actually somehow match my credentials as a practicing lawyer.
Even funnier, he is among the chosen few family members who believe the Professional Rules of Conduct are rather like serving suggestions—he makes it obvious that he anticipates me to sidestep these rules for his benefit, casually questioning, "Who would know"?
Oh, my apologies! I must be ludicrous to consider that we ought to value ethics and stick to the rules, even when there seems to be a negligible risk of apprehension.
I know, you can call me insane!
30. Lost In Translation
During my time in the US army, I completed five tours of duty. I even used to parachute from planes and was so proficient in Arabic that I could easily pass as a local. After leaving the army, I turned to art school and slowly started to lose touch with the language.
I was never that person who flaunted my service with army clothing or car stickers.
Every now and then, I would cross paths with other veterans who liked to share their service stories—they were generally harmless. But one fine gentleman was a different story. He was in my 3D design class and had an endless reel of improbable stories.
I usually let it slide, but one day, he was across from me at a table trying to woo some girls with his tales of service. He claimed to be fluent in Arabic, a language skill he attributed to his time overseas. This caught my attention. I quipped back in Arabic, "Funny you mention that, I used to speak Arabic a bit too. Where did you learn it"?
You see, I wasn't as fluent as before, but this language was once second nature to me.
He was stumped. Just sat there sweating, while the girls gaped at us. I decided to give him the benefit of the doubt—maybe he was just stretching the truth a bit. So, I fired off some common phrases to give him a chance to respond.
Phrases like:
"Hello, how are you today? Where's the market? Happy Birthday! Where are the chemical weapons"? These were essential sentences we learned in the army. But, he couldn't reply. Despite his many tales as a combat medic, his silence made me consider questioning his medical skills.
I could have asked him, "What needle gauge would you use for a tension pneumothorax? What are you supposed to write on someone after applying a tourniquet"? But seeing him frozen, I knew I wouldn't get any honest answers.
Instead, I simply said, "Ahterim Nefsik," which means, "Respect yourself".
Dusting off my hands, I got back to my clay sculpting assignment. But I knew I had landed the punch. The likelihood of him stumbling upon someone who actually spoke Arabic, let alone a veteran in a small-town community college art program, was incredibly slim.
But today was not his lucky day.
31. Food For Thought
I work in food science, which may surprise some as it doesn't equate to being a chef or nutritionist. My expertise is rooted in several academic disciplines such as organic and inorganic chemistry, microbiology, nutrition, and process engineering.
Over the years, I've explored various sectors within the food industry, from meat processing, dairy research during my postgraduate years, to my present professional role in the beverage sector.
One statement that truly gets under my skin is when people accuse big food corporations of poisoning us for financial gain.
Let's break down this assertion. Yes, it's true companies aim to make profits to stay operational, but that doesn't imply they don't value their customer base.
What sense would it make to harm the very customers that keep our businesses alive? Fewer healthy and content customers equate to fewer profits for our companies!
The food sector is driven by consumers' demands and preferences. Customers' spending dictates our product creation and availability—if a product is popular, we produce more, and if not, we discontinue it. Generally, when a product is marketed as a healthier option, it's assumed to taste inferior, which leads to less patronage.
So, here's my ultimate point: Consumers, wield your power.The primary aim of food companies is customer satisfaction, offering plentiful and safe products. We're genuinely not the devil I assure you. My colleagues and I are essentially a mix of food enthusiasts and geeks.
And to all the food safety zealots:
Please practice good hygiene by washing your hands and your produce thoroughly.
32. Two’s A Crowd
I am a seasoned nurse and throughout my career, I've accumulated a great deal of experience. I served my term at Emory University Hospital which interestingly, happened to be the hospital in the United States to welcome the first two Ebola patients.
In an effort to assure my patients about the hospital's readiness and how they were safe from contracting Ebola, I persistently provided them with the necessary information. However, even people who were at the hospital for reasons other than Ebola, chose to discharge themselves and head home, despite their existing illnesses and our advice against it.
This decision was made in total disregard for our professional medical advice. Surprisingly, we witnessed patients canceling major surgeries that had been planned months in advance to avoid coinciding their hospital visits with those of the Ebola patients.
It was somewhat baffling to see that Fox News was considered a more credible source about our hospital protocols than our very own medical doctors and other professionals who were physically present and were actually involved in the day-to-day operations.
33. Speaking His Mind, Without The ‘Mind’ Part
I’m currently in the process of becoming a specialist in hematology and oncology, but over the weekend, I had an interesting encounter. During a social gathering, a well-educated, well-off, and charismatic individual—who is openly doubtful about modern medicine—completely took the spotlight. Honestly, I was stunned by his claims.
He continuously argued that cancer doctors, like myself, were orchestrating a massive scam, suggesting that we were working hand-in-hand with the big pharmaceutical companies. This man proposed the theory that each object emits its own unique vibration, and he criticized us for not utilizing this inexpensive therapeutic potential to combat cancer.
He blamed us for steering patients towards costly treatments like chemotherapy, radiation, and surgery. Honestly, it was frustrating. I was at a loss for words regarding where to begin my counter-argument. To make matters worse, he was clearly a more skilled speaker and debater than I was.
This probably led to some people believing him, despite his arguments being completely nonsensical.
34. This Is Just So Wrong…
The individuals who consistently work my nerves are those conspiracy enthusiasts who believe that the 2001 attacks on New York were hoaxes or purposely set up or any other claim they make. As a student studying engineering, I ventured into a recently established "scientific journal" that focused on studying the incidents that took place on that day.
I began reading the first "study," and it was implementing basic high school Newtonian physics to substantiate outrageous claims. I reached out to the journal's editors, explaining politely but firmly, the blatant errors identified in this "study".
To my surprise, I received an irate response from the AUTHOR OF THE PAPER, who happens to be one of the publication's editors, touting a PhD in something like nuclear physics.
I offered a polite response. Again, I dissected his feedback, explaining why each of his points was misguided.
To this, his infuriated reaction included the charge that I was attempting to "baffle him with science". At this stage, I chalked it up to a lost cause. I am aware that most of these organizations continue to operate, as my dad was recently lured into attending one of their workshops.
They persist in spreading the same egregiously incorrect information.
Furthermore, the membership of the society advocating for a different "truth" about those events has remained virtually the same for nearly a decade. These people are inept deceivers exploiting those who don't possess sufficient scientific knowledge to discern the inaccuracies in their statements.
This stance is extremely disrespectful to the victims and should always be challenged.
35. Taking One For The Tribe
Once upon a time, I was fortunate enough to be employed as an anthropologist at a museum, operated by a tribe, situated in preserved Native American territory. This institution's purpose was multi-layered: it showcased archaeological discoveries, promoted the rich legacy of their ancestry, and generated some profit for the communal hub.
There were a myriad of fascinating aspects to my job, but one particular element cast a shadow over it. The issue arose from a nearby town, primarily affluent white households, who were angry at our operations. They contended we were harming the tribe's cultural heritage by digging up the land—a right they contended we didn't have.
Their grievances climaxed when they forwarded a rather condescending letter to our museum.
At its essence, they claimed the tribe lacked the necessary wisdom to apprehend the apparent disintegration of their own heritage and were ill-equipped to make decisions involving activities on their terrain.
Needless to say, this didn't sit well with the tribe or us. But moving on from such unpleasant encounters, I would earnestly encourage you to visit an Indigenous tribal museum in your vicinity if you have one.
It's an ideal outing, especially when the weather is against you.
Many of these tribal museums invest their profits into community initiatives and educational scholarships, so your visit makes a tangible difference. Plus, there's a wealth of intriguing knowledge to uncover.
36. Holy Moly
As a researcher of theology, I frankly hear glaring misconceptions or complete untruths from those posing as specialists at least once a week.
What's one of the most striking examples? An individual asserted that the Bible instructs all of us to "sleep with the earth".
This statement was made by a firm-minded young adult in their 20s who believed that there is no ethical issue with our disregard towards the environment.
37. Be A Little More Civil
At a social gathering in someone's backyard, an acquaintance of mine started discussing the causes and outcomes of the American Civil War. Being a professional historian, I attempted to contribute to this discussion, but he kept cutting me off.
Our mutual friend, upon hearing our so-called exchange (which really felt more like his one-man show), interjects, "Just a reminder, she has a graduate degree specializing in this topic". I really wish that this bit of information about my qualifications had some impact on the conversation, but alas, it didn't.
Surprisingly, it seemed to fuel his drive even more to question me on things I am qualified to teach. Just your typical day.
38. Here’s A Better Idea—Wash His Mouth Out With Soap
Once, while working as the only female air traffic controller in the tower, I used to regularly witness pilot visits to understand the airport and the air traffic control operations.
During one such visit, I was on a break. The visitor pilot just finished drinking his coffee and then handed over his mug to me, directing, "Would you wash it for me, darling"?
When he was ready to fly back, my break finished. I decided to get a bit of revenge for his assuming behavior.
39. A Hard Pill To Swallow
After spending a full week in the hospital, it was time for me to be discharged. Even though I was excited to return home, I was still experiencing occasional bouts of nausea. Throughout my hospital stay, I had been given Zofran to help manage these feelings.
So, I asked the nurse if the doctor could possibly add a few doses of this medication to my prescription as I was leaving.
With a saccharine sweet tone in her voice, she responded, "Oh, dear, Zofran is only available as an intravenous medication".
Without missing a beat, I retorted, "Actually, since I'm a pharmacist, I can guarantee that Zofran is not only available in IV form, but can also be found in tablets, a liquid solution, and even as orally disintegrating tablets".
Caught off guard, she fumbled for words before managing to say something about confirming this information with the doctor.
She then promptly left the room. I admit I might not have perfectly replicated her patronizing tone, but I certainly made an earnest attempt.
Just remember, when it comes to pharmaceuticals, my knowledge shouldn't be questioned lightly.
40. Mouthing Off
After a long day at work, I decided to make a pit stop at the mall to pick up some Christmas gifts.
Braving the winter chill, I bundled up in my warm wool coat and set off barely 20 minutes after clocking out. While walking through the bustling mall, I stumbled upon a distressing scene. A man had collapsed and was having a severe seizure.
He had fallen and was bleeding heavily from the back of his head.
Another man had grabbed him and was trying to force a pen into his mouth, a dangerous and misguided attempt to prevent the seizing man from biting his tongue off. I swiftly intervened, pulling the man’s hand away from the alarmingly dangerous situation.
Next, I carefully opened the man's airways by positioning his head correctly, making sure to keep my fingers safely away from his mouth.
The man trying to help reacted in outrage, demanding, "Just who the heck do you think you are? My father had seizures and this is how we dealt with them”!
I calmly responded, "I know what I'm doing, sir, please step back". He huffed in annoyance, muttering complaints clearly intended for me to hear.
He grumbled about how I had taken charge, suggesting that any negative outcome would be my fault.
However, the situation wasn't as severe as it first appeared—the head injury, though alarming, wasn't life-threatening. An employee from a nearby kiosk kindly gave me a towel, which I pressed against the man's wound while ensuring his airway remained clear.
As he breathed steadily, we waited for assistance to arrive. By the time the first responders turned up, things looked under control. But then, an unexpected twist—the disgruntled man decided to lodge a complaint against me to incoming officers.
To my surprise, the complaining man took it upon himself to complain about my "behavior". But his words fell on deaf ears as the officer preferred to focus on the patient's well-being.
With the seizing man slowly coming to, the emergency personnel and I transferred him to a stretcher and attended to his head injury.
As he was taken to the hospital for further evaluation, it was clear he would recover and might only need a couple of stitches.
Still persistent, the complaining man attempted to rile up one of the medics—only to be met with a humbling reality check. The medic revealed, "Yes, he's special. He's actually my supervisor at the hospital".
The officer could hardly contain his amusement at the man's astonishment. Shortly after, the disgruntled man stormed off, and I was left with the oddly satisfying task of washing the patient's blood off my hands.
41. Striking Below The Belt
I've invested 14 years of my life into martial arts, holding the rank of a fourth degree black belt. I don’t pretend to be an all-knowing guru, however, I do have a pretty good grip on the subject. When I started at my university, I decided to give the on-campus taekwondo club a go.
Since it was my first day, I wasn't sure if uniforms were a requirement. So, I arrived kitted out in general workout gear but I also brought along my full martial arts uniform, just in case. Before the class got underway, one of the club leaders, flaunting a second-degree black belt (which is commendable, though not as high ranked as my belt, representing a gap of five years of training), approached me.
He began to run me through the basic class rules and kindly offered to mentor me throughout the class on the different moves. Initially, I didn’t mind—he had no way of knowing my background. However, as our conversation unfolded, I detected a hint of annoyance in his demeanor, as if explaining the ropes was somewhat of a chore to him.
It also seemed like he wasn't too thrilled about the prospect of coaching newbies. Despite his off-putting attitude, I remained polite, nodded along, and popped the question if we were expected to wear our uniforms. His reply was that if we owned them, it was best to wear them, but it wouldn't be an issue if I didn’t.
Assuring him that I certainly had my own uniform, I excused myself to change.
The look of pure astonishment plastered on his face when I reappeared donning my instructor's uniform and fourth-degree black belt was nothing less than priceless.
42. If Only…
As a doctoral student studying neuroscience with a concentration on neuroimmunology, I've lost track of the numerous times well-meaning parent bloggers have endeavored to clarify the alleged connection between vaccines and autism to me—or to neuroscience and immunology in general.
Regrettably, despite my efforts to explain the scientific reality, it often falls on deaf ears, and I get accused of being a shill for major pharmaceutical companies.
So, I retreat to the comfort of my home, cuddle my feline companions, and daydream about living on the generous funding of big pharma instead of academia's modest stipend.
43. A Web Of Lies
With over two decades of expertise in custom software development, I've encountered the misconception that software development should come cheap.
A staggering 98% of my clients have presented the argument "I can accomplish that in Excel" as a reason not to pay the professional costs associated with the software I create.
I often find myself wondering, "If it's truly that simple, why are you engaging my services"? Another argument I encounter:
"I already paid for the program, why should I pay again for minor changes"? To clarify: that initial payment was for the version of the software developed years ago. It is now outdated and unsupported.
When this change was proposed, I graciously offered a substantial discount for the conversion and migration process, but you willingly declined maintenance contracts.
When you adamantly declared, "I refuse to pay for something that isn't broken," tech support ultimately confirmed my advisory about your obsolete machines.
Yet, even with all evidence and backup, you still demanded services without paying a dime. When your boss finally instructed the necessary changes to be executed, you threatened me with a lawyer, refusing to pay for my services.
How about this? Let me forward all the supporting documentation to your lawyers—I'd be more than happy to do so.
Your response to my refusal? A tit-for-tat move where you engaged a competitor that declined to transfer your data. Due to your lack of understanding or your stubbornness, you agreed to proceed with the low-cost alternative, completely oblivious to the impending loss of all your data.
On realization, you blamed me and went so far as to demand another free service from me. Threatening to sue me following my refusal didn't sway me either. You even tried to manipulate me into doing the work pro-bono— your audacity amuses me.
As of my last update, your ancient computer and server are still running the obsolete software.
My best wishes are with you on that journey. The most puzzling thing is the prevalent delusion of computer expertise amongst people who clearly don't have it, coupled with a blatant sense of entitlement to free labor.
44. When You Are Your Own Worst Enemy
As a professional in tax policy, I'm widely recognized as a leading expert in my locality.
However, there was this one peculiar incident on a discussion board where an anonymous person tried to argue against my views on the current tax policy.
This person was insistent, even though I was confident and certain that my standpoints were accurate. He then referred to a report as evidence to support his argument.
And this is where the twist comes in. Funny enough, the report he quoted was actually one that I had authored myself.
45. Falling Flat
As an airline pilot, I once had a flat-earther confront me for not revealing the "truth" about observing the world's edge while working. Truthfully, I assumed these theories were invented fabrications.
However, there are indeed people who genuinely believe in them!
46. The Darwin Effect
I'm a seasoned biologist. Throughout my lengthy career, I've had countless debates with differing individuals. However, I haven't yet encountered someone who both refuses to believe in evolution and comprehends what it truly signifies.
47. Pigging Out
One time, during my work shift at a Whole Foods supermarket, I found myself in a disagreement with a customer.
She was interested in purchasing grass-fed pork. However, the truth is, there's really no such thing. Pigs require grain-heavy diets to thrive because grass alone doesn't provide them with the nutrients they require.
Despite my ten years of experience working on a farm and selling meat, the customer didn't agree with me.
Our dispute escalated to the point where I suggested shipping a piglet to her so she could try raising it on grass alone and watch it struggle to survive. But I don't host product demonstrations at grocery shops these days...
48. Sometimes The Cure Is Worse Than The Illness
As a healthcare worker, you're bound to meet all sorts of people, including those who like to think they know it all.
For example, I once had a patient who refused to use birth control because she believed it caused AIDS. She even gently pointed out that we, as doctors, are often prohibited from sharing the "truth" with our patients.
This patient was set to have her fifth child by the time she was 25.
Then there was another woman who discredited my professional advice. Somehow, she was even more infuriating. I'd warned her that having eight C-sections, when she'd already had seven, posed significant risks to her and the baby.
She dismissed my inputs, arguing that the previous seven C-sections went "smoothly," so why would an eighth be any different? I was already mentally rolling my eyes—but her final comment just blew me away. She further added, "Well I was the one actually experiencing these C-sections, so obviously I know better".
49. So Many Bottled Up Emotions
I work as a Sommelier—yeah, that fella who recommends and sells you wine at a restaurant. One day, not long after I started, a group of middle-aged ladies wanted to know which of our wines by the glass was the sweetest.
The group's outspoken leader seemed determined to assert herself and show off in front of her friends.
I was pretty new to the game and was still of the mindset that the customer might not always be right. Our exchange went something like this:
Me: "Our sweetest by-the-glass option is our [brand name] Riesling from Germany's Mosel region. It's got a lower percentage and plenty of sweet, leftover sugar, which is well-balanced by a strong acidic profile".
Her: "Riesling's not sweet".
Me: "Not all of them, you're right. But this one definitely is.
Trust me on this". Little did I know what I was walking into.
Her: "I lived in Germany for six months and never came across a sweet Riesling".
Me: "That could be true, but Mosel is famous for its sweeter style, plus the other benefits I mentioned earlier".
Her: "You don't look like you know what you're talking about. Have you ever lived in Germany"?
Me: "No, ma'am, I haven't".
Her: "I thought so. You have Gewurztraminer on your menu.
I know for sure that's a sweet wine. I’ll order that".
Me: "Actually, our Riesling is much sweeter. The Gewurztraminer is only slightly off-dry. I'd say it's more dry than sweet". But she was having none of it.
Her: "I know what I'm talking about, just get me the wine, please".
Me: "Of course".
However, I was internally preparing to give her a taste of her own medicine.
I went to the bartender and asked him to pour a glass of Riesling instead of Gewurztraminer. I served it to her, saying, "Your Gewurztraminer, ma’am". I watched her from a safe distance with an impish grin.
She unwittingly fell for it and took her first sip.
I needed to know her reaction, so I went back to the table, asking, "How is it"? She seemed satisfied and told me, "It's delicious. Very sweet. Much sweeter than Riesling. Exactly as I thought it would be".
I replied, "I'm glad you enjoy it. However, the bartender made a small mistake and you are actually drinking the Riesling". You could almost see steam coming out of her ears.
"Is this not Gewurztraminer"? she asks. I confirm, "No ma’am, my apologies. Would you like us to serve you the Gewurztraminer instead"?
My grin had morphed into the kind of gleeful smile only the truly redeemed possess. She tersely replied, with evident bitterness, "No, this will do". I wished her, "Please, enjoy the rest of your evening". What's the takeaway from this episode?
It's true; I don't know everything about the wines I sell. If we're being honest, I've barely scratched the surface. I have a lot to learn, especially when you compare me to veritable wine gurus out there. That said, when I talk about the drinks I serve, I make sure I'm absolutely correct.
50. When You Gotta Go, You Gotta Go!
Once, a woman questioned my competence in advising her to go to the hospital. "I'm a qualified paramedic"! I told her. My main job is exactly that—to assess medical needs and emergencies. I serve in a local government-run fire department which also happens to offer advanced life support ambulance facilities.
Interestingly, we don't get remunerated per each assignment. My area of work falls in a lower income neighbourhood where medical insurance coverage is quite rare, and so is the capacity to clear medical dues. Our community hospital is financially struggling and has to face the need for financial rescue almost annually due to a lack of paying clients.
Likewise, our local government heavily depends on these bailouts to maintain services, including our own. Whenever I transport someone in need to the hospital, it comes with a cost—a potential dent in my own earnings or in the taxpayers' money.
Let me emphasize, there absolutely aren't any benefits for me to transport someone not in need of hospital care.
It takes a minimum of a half an hour to facilitate a patient's transport or, at best, five minutes to note their refusal for care. So, believe me when I say, if I suggest you should head to the hospital, you definitely should.
Sources: Reddit
