We've all been guilty of a little bribery here and there, or some "you scratch my back and I'll scratch yours" behavior. But when you have four college classes, a full-time job, studying, and sleep to fit into a single day, some things are guaranteed to see some neglect, right?
Desperate times call for desperate measures, people. We can't even blame these students for what they proposed to do or to give to their teachers in order to pass their classes. Some of these educators can hardly believe the lengths students are willing to go to for a passing grade, so they took to Reddit to vent their stories and mostly to assure themselves they weren't the only ones facing such a mindless generation.
We pulled the most shocking of those confessions for your delight. From bribes to favors, name-drops to blackmail, some of these stories you won't ever be able to escape.
Don't forget to check the comment section below the article for more interesting stories!
#25 And The Winning Bribe Is...
One of my students offered me a Pokemon card and a Minute Maid lemonade from the vending machine to pass him. 7th graders are weird.
/cdn.vox-cdn.com/uploads/chorus_image/image/59816049/592218216.jpg.0.jpg)
#24 When The Wrong Person Finds Out
A teacher at our school started hooking up with one of his students in return for better grades. Well, this big time gangster kid found out and for a solid year threatened to spill the beans on the teacher if he didn't do as asked. The gangster kid made the teacher buy him things he wasn't old enough to buy, drive him around and give him cash. The gangsta had this teacher on a leash for about a year before people found out and he finally got caught.
#23 Well If You Won't...
I had a student cry and write me suggestive notes and did everything to get me to improve her grade but I couldn't alter the past assignments in the grading system and even a perfect final assignment wouldn't be enough.
Then a miracle happened. She and I met with my supervising professor and he and she hit it off very well.
They worked together for what must have been hours and hours. When I taught her she was essentially illiterate but after one week of "intensive instruction" with a tenured professor she ended up getting a "B+." I refused to sign off on her new grade card but the professor had no problem taking care of that.
#22 Go 'Head And Call Daddy
I had one student threaten to use her father's influence to get me fired. This was at a public university too (ie: not someplace like Harvard where that threat could at least potentially carry weight) and her dad wasn't particularly influential. She got her D anyway. Whatever influence her father had wasn't enough to cost me my job.
#21 Who's The Real Animal?
Kid: "I'm finna punch every alpaca in the state right in the face if you don't bump my grade up from an 87% to a 90%" My response: "did you do the extra credit?" Kid: "no." Me: "those poor alpacas. Don't forget to bring sunscreen. You're going to be punching alpacas for a long time in this state." Kid: "Wow. You're heartless."
He then turned to the class and Steve Martin in The Jerk fashion yelled: "This lady hates alpacas!!"
Middle schoolers are an odd bunch of humans.
YouTube
#20 Can Teachers Even Do This?
When my mom was in high school she took a French class and failed with a 48% percent. She wasn't a very attentive student. She begged the teacher to pass her, and eventually, he promised to give her a passing grade if my mom agreed to never take one of his courses again.
YouTube
#19 That Would Be A Hard No, Lucy
Something I thought only happened in movies ...where a girl came up to my desk and undid the top couple buttons of her blouse and said: "Mister CLASSWORK, I'd do anything for a better grade."
I suggested studying and reported the incident to our principal before any rumors whatsoever could take hold.
#18 How About Some Cake?
I was the student in this situation. For two subjects, PE and intro to IT, which is not really related to my course of nursing but I had to take them. I never attended any of these classes because I overlooked my subjects and schedule when I enrolled.
For IT, my prof agreed to let me not attend any of his classes as long as I take and pass his finals which I fortunately did. For PE, a chocolate cake for the lowest passing grade.
I know it all sounds like a sham but this is in the Philippines and in a small private college.
YouTube
#17 Excuse Me, Black Mail?
A colleague came to my office a few years ago and reported what had just happened:
A young lady came to his office and asked if there was anything she could do to raise her grade. No, the class was over and it wouldn't be fair to give her opportunities not available to everyone else.
She then said her problem was the test... she would do much better with an oral exam. Couldn't he just give her an oral exam? This was proposed several times.
He finally had enough, told her to leave and if she said another word he'd report her to the Dean of Students.
When she left, he stood to come tell me the story and walked into the hall... where the student was in conference with her mother. The mother had been lurking outside his office hoping to catch him agreeing to the suggestion so they could blackmail him.
Nice family.
#16 And How Did You Think This Would Play Out?
My friend offered a teacher twerking lessons in exchange for a better grade. HIS offer was not accepted.
Takes offer somewhere else.
#15 Someone Call For Housekeeping?
One girl offered to be my housekeeper and to cook for me for two semesters. She claimed to be as talented in the kitchen as she is with organ performance. Huh?
#14 Um. Who's The Teacher? You Or Me?
A student once admitted that he hadn't studied for the final exam, but turned in an alternative hand-written final exam featuring his own questions.
This didn't require a response, only a blank stare.
Pinterest
#13 Just Cry. It'll Work.
The most memorable have to be the criers. They come in and cry hoping for a better grade. This works surprisingly well on male professors, especially the science ones because they don't know what to do with a crying woman, so they typically give in.
#12 When A "Therapy Dog" Fails To Give You Special Treatment
My professor gave me a speech about how he didn't fail me, I failed myself, which wouldn't be that bad if he wasn't so clearly enjoying every second of it. He's grinning, his voice has this annoying, light quality to it, and his body language is basically asking me to punch him in the face.
Now...I had a service dog when I was in high school. Service dogs are pre-selected to not be aggressive dogs, but they're also extremely tuned in to their handlers. So, while I'm furious with him, I think I'm keeping it together pretty well. Until my dog starts growling at him.
He immediately sits up, drops his douchey smile, and asks if we're going to have a problem. Apparently being threatened by a dog didn't do anything for my grade, because I still failed.
#11 Why Not Me?
My first-year University students only offer lame excuses ("my girlfriend's grandfather died so I couldn't concentrate on the exam" for example). Never bribes or gifts or something that might actually change my mind.
#10 Karma Is A Thing
A former student who rarely attended class or turned in my homework in university. A saint of a professor agreed to pass me if I could demonstrate my understanding of one physics concept from the entire semester on the final exam (it still wasn't easy, it was advanced quantum physics) because I told him about my depression. That was true but in reality, it was probably more my alcoholism and I'm assuming he could smell it on the few occasions I actually attended his class. I'm now an English teacher for children in China and they often suck up to me. I've been gifted a hard-boiled egg, pet fish, a snail, crackers, bread, strange Chinese candy, flavored water, etc. They don't even get grades, just 1-5 stamps depending on their performance that they can exchange for toys and erasers, but boy do they care about those. I think it's mostly because their grandparents beat them if they don't do well.
#9 Will This Do?
YouTUbe
#8 When Teachers Give Up
I had a teacher in high school who said he didn't care if you cut/came late to his class to go get fast food, donuts or coffee. But if the hall monitors caught you, he knew nothing and you had to bring him back something. He also said if you planned on handing in something late or asking for an extension, iTunes gift cards or bottles of wine were appreciated.
#7 Jesus Can't Save You From This
A student insisted that her father will put up a party for me at an exclusive hotel if I gave her an A. Had to fail her anyway because she turned in an empty paper which she scribbled with religious verses; as if it would magically give her an excellent grade.
#6 Dude, Seriously? Your Mom?
I was an adjunct lecturer teaching a 101-level social science course, I had this guy in class he's about... 7 years into a 4-year degree, which I could already tell he was either going to be a spectacular student or just a plain-old screw-up.
Midterms rolled around, dude got an F... assignment rolled around, again, dude got an F. Finals rolled around, he got an F...
...now this is when things got weird.
The department secretary called, apparently the dude's MOTHER rang the department asking to meet with me. She asked if there was anything her son could do to pass.
I flat out told her that there are 4 days left until the grades are due in, and there's no amount of work he could possibly do in 4 days to bump an F up to a C. then she asked if there's anything that their family could do? (Propositioning a bribe.) She was crying at this point, but I flat out said no. An adult in his mid 20's had his MOTHER call his lecturer like I'm his middle school teacher or some such.
#5 Pretty Hard To Turn Down
A student forgot to add a serious tag to an important paper. They got about 60% of the answers correct. They offered Reddit gold.
#4 Not Too Bright There Are Ya
Closest I've been to being bribed was a student showing me a $100 bill and claiming they found it in the hall and wanted to see if it was mine. The kid was sketchy from day one of the semester.
Got a weird one yesterday. Student asked me if they take another science class next semester, do well, and show me the work, would I change their grade. "Why would I change your grade in my class for work you did in someone else's?" "Well, it's a science class . . ."
#3 When It Works
My history teacher gave my friend extra points on the final exam for teaching her how to use Snapchat. Now that was hilarious.
#2 The Struggle Is Real
Student here, I successfully bribed a high school teacher by slipping a 50 into my exam.
Support increased wages for teachers.
YouTube
#1 Try A Million, Kevin
Kevin didn't understand that his grade was dependent on tests, quizzes, homework, classwork, and participation. Kevin finished his first semester with a 3% average. He tried to bribe me with $11.
