Weddings are supposed to be magical and memorable—but these nuptials had such crazy wedding drama, they'll be memorable for all the wrong reasons.
1. Does Anyone Here Object To This Union?
A few years ago, my family and I got invited to my second cousin's wedding. The bride (my cousin) and groom were wonderful people in their mid-twenties who had known each other since middle school. They were very much in love and had been deemed "the perfect couple" by our entire family. The wedding was exquisite, too.
It was a large outdoor wedding with beautiful decorations and flowers everywhere. It was a shame it ended up being nearly ruined. First of all, the bride and groom had to wait 45 minutes because the groom's mother was late. She showed up in a fancy white dress that could rival the bride's and insisted on being in all the pre-wedding photos, which made it hard to tell who was the bride and which visibly upset the actual bride.
The groom's mother then started verbally attacking the bride on her appearance, among other things, which left her close to tears. Then, when it came time to say the vows, the best man stepped forward—and what he said left us all in total shock. He professed his undying love for the bride, saying that he'd been in love with her ever since high school.
He proceeded to list all the things he loved about her including some pretty explicit things he said he wanted to do to her. He claimed he knew she felt the same way, but the bride just shook her head, looking extremely uncomfortable and even a little bit scared. He was escorted out of the premises unwillingly. And to top it all off, the groom's ex-girlfriend decided it was the right time to object to their marriage.
She claimed that it should have been her at the altar with the groom. But after that whole mess was taken care of, the bride and groom got married and the wedding party was still awesome. Despite the shaky wedding, they're still as happy a couple as they were before the wedding, and they've been married for five years and have two beautiful little girls.
Like I said. A very dramatic wedding.
2. What A Tangled Web They Wove
I was the best man at this wedding, but I lived in another city, so most of this is second-hand. Still, the drama involved seems crazy considering how undramatic this couple normally is. I was the best man for my older brother. The bride and my brother had eloped about a year earlier for health insurance reasons, but were throwing a moderately sized wedding to celebrate it (around 100 people) in a local park.
The bride asked her brother Alex to officiate the wedding and his girlfriend of four years, Christie, to be her maid of honor. Bride and Groom specified a very strict no plus-one policy. You weren't allowed to take your significant other unless there was a ring. Christie was an obvious exception, because she and Bride were already friends.
Note that my other brother's girlfriend of five years was directly told not to come because of this policy. About two months before the wedding, disaster struck. Alex calls Bride to let her know that he and Christie broke up and that Christie no longer wants to come to the wedding and won't be the maid of honor. Bride asks what happened and Alex just says that they drifted apart.
Also, Alex has a new girlfriend that he'll be taking to the wedding instead. Bride reminds him of the policy and that they won't allow plus-ones if there's no ring. Well, she was in for a surprise. Alex says that there is a ring. Alex and his new girlfriend (let’s call her Danielle) are engaged. Also, Danielle is pregnant. Bride asks how he met Danielle.
Alex met Danielle when he was helping teach a pottery class at his local community college. Danielle was a student taking the class. Danielle is 19. Bride asks the obvious question: "Did Alex cheat on Christie with Danielle and get Danielle pregnant”? Alex says absolutely not. Alex says he broke up with Christie, started dating Danielle, proposed to Danielle, and then he and Danielle got pregnant on purpose.
Note that Bride had spoken with Christie two weeks earlier and Christie had been excited for the upcoming wedding and being the maid of honor. Still, Alex is her brother, so Bride agrees to invite Danielle to the wedding and Christie is uninvited. The bride needs a new maid of honor and doesn't have many close female friends. She ends up asking her 16-year-old cousin from Europe who she hardly knows.
This isn't a big deal for her. The wedding goes forward without a hitch. Everyone has a good time. My little brother's girlfriend helps with set up and clean up, but doesn't attend the ceremony or reception as per the Bride's wishes. A few months later I run into Christie at a bar. That’s when I find out the twisted truth.
I buy her a drink and Christie is more than happy to tell her side of the story. Alex had been cheating on Christie for months with Danielle, before Christie learned about it. Alex and Christie were actually trying to have a kid during that time and had even picked out baby names. Alex only fessed up to his infidelity when he found out that Danielle was pregnant.
He then swiftly dumped Christie and proposed to Danielle. As a final insult to injury, Christie had recently found out the name of Alex and Danielle's new child. The name was one of the baby names Alex and Christie had picked out for their potential baby.
3. Mixing Business With Pleasure
The wedding planner we hired was seen by multiple friends and family making out with and going into various closets with a friend of ours who was helping set up our wedding. We confronted our friend and he confirmed they did the deed multiple times on our wedding day. I’m furious. It was so unprofessional and inappropriate on all levels.
And that’s not to mention there were tons of things going wrong with our wedding or not completed properly with our wedding that I can’t help but to think would’ve been done better/smoother if she hadn’t been “busy” all night. One of the major things was she did not check out catering at the end of the night and they ended up taking all of the food we paid for with them instead of leaving it behind.
Ultimately, she refunded us after the wedding. We expressed our concerns to her and she offered a refund and asked us not to review her.
4. Karma Is Real
My wife and I chose "rustic picnic" as the decor theme for our small wedding. This was in 2013 and mason jars were still very trendy. We aren't trendy people, and weren't then but figured this was the cheapest way to throw off a wedding that is still "pretty”. We also were having our wedding in a state park, so it fit. If you can't tell, our wedding was intentionally affordable.
As a working-class queer couple with conservative family members, it was important to my wife (and her mother) that our wedding "fit the mold" so to speak. We went to a few $25k+ weddings that year, and I'm still proud to say our wedding was the prettiest, and most Pinterest-worthy of that era. Of course, that all came with a downside.
In the hours before our nuptials, her mother cried out of sheer relief that our wedding was not going to be a total embarrassment. And it didn't come without significant effort. We scoured craigslist for mason jars. Drove an hour out of town for them, out to the country. Some were pretty plain, but some were genuinely antique jars—an excellent find.
We purchased lace and wrapped half of the newer ones with it, delicately gluing the lace to the outside of the jar. The other half or so we both made patterns with our hand prints in muted versions of our wedding colors. It was a dorky cheesy choice, but believe it or not, they looked nice and were very much ours. Or so we thought.
We also happened to pick up off craigslist about a hundred glass baby jars. They wrap those with almost impenetrable paper labels. It took very tedious hours to get these labels off. To pull off having these tables covered in mason jars, glass, and flowers it took us at least four weekends to pull off. Effort. Time. Money. Personalization. I'm still angry, can you tell?
Enter... Courtney. You know people like her. Well, she is engaged to Todd, my future brother-in-law. Did they get engaged a month after we did, after only knowing each other a month? Yeah, they did. First she showed up to our wedding shower wearing sweatpants. It was noticeable, it was weird, but whatever. I wish I could have gone in sweatpants.
She only got worse from there. What does she do in the middle of the shower? Burst out crying. "She doesn't have anyone planning a shower for her, she doesn't have any of their wedding planned, nothing is done, they don't have a venue”. Granted, at the time she was having issues with her family, a messy parental divorce. But money was no issue, they did quite well for themselves.
A brigade of my wife's relatives offered their help; My wife offered our help crafting anything that needs done. We were done with our own wedding labor at that point, but still in the crafting zone. She rebuffs ALL of these offers of help. Eventually, they land a venue at a countryside church, and plan to do their reception outside.
We hear about a few people in her family getting fitted for their attire for their wedding. Nothing strikes out of the norm because we are busy excited for our own impending wedding. The morning of our wedding our enlisted family and family friends (none of her siblings or their partners) helped me set things up perfectly. Our wedding goes off without a hitch.
Both of our parents contributed the food, and it was tasty. It was this amazing joint effort of love. As the reception wore on, it was easily noticeable that her siblings and their partners were nowhere to be found. They spent the entire reception drinking in their cars or around back of the building. It was a small wedding, thus easily noticed.
A few times, they came back around and Courtney would clearly be looking down her nose at everything. Just obviously, being a judgemental cow. My wife didn't notice either of the offenses until her maid of honor was mad on her behalf in the weeks after. I've got a keen eye for terrible behavior, but again, I gave it no mind as this was our day.
Just as folks helped us set up, they helped us clean up. Even Court and Todd—surprising considering their complete lack of participation. Everyone breaking things down without asking. Earlier than we would have liked. I wasn't angry about that. I appreciated the help, but chose to continue dancing with my wife, under the stars. We were blessed with wonderful weather.
In the midst of our dancing, I noticed something strange. Todd was placing boxes in his truck and Courtney was hovering around inside. Literally, she spent more time inside "cleaning" than during our entire reception. Again, I have a keen eye for garbage, but let it slide because again, this was our day. Do you know where I'm going with this? Yes, they attempted to take all of our decor.
And that’s not all. My thief aunt also snatches a table, chairs, and bottles of booze. But this is normal behavior for her. She recently was fired from her job for taking cake from a work event. Our cake was also stolen. My wife's mother's BFF cut the cake for us. Tiny little slices for everyone, about a quarter inch wide. Why? Because at the end of the night she planned on asking to take some of the cake for a graduation party the next day.
"Of course, yes feel free, just leave us the top two tiers" What utter garbage. You should have seen these slices she was passing out. In the days after our wedding we had to fight to get our stuff back. My wife's mother attempted to convince us to let them have it, "they have nothing”. No. We hear from her cousin that Courtney is claiming we pilfered ideas off her Pinterest, and she feels the right to our things.
However, remember she had no idea what she was doing for her wedding at the time of the shower. They only booked a venue a month before ours. My wife finally gets a hold of him and explained they were very personal to our wedding, and that it would be extremely weird for them to use it. Finally, with enough cajoling, he dropped the boxes off at their parent's house.
We got most of it back. I still think there was some missing. But it’s still not over yet.
At the rehearsal dinner a week before their wedding, we find out that my wife's ENTIRE family was at the fitting. She was excluded from the very start. Everyone in her family, including cousins, children of cousins, and aunts are dressed similarly. They are all included in the wedding party. We are visually the outsiders. My wife is heartbroken and leaves their dinner in tears.
Despite a terrible experience at the dinner, the night of their wedding we are called by her mother that Courtney is freaking out. All of these plates she painted need work. My wife, the saint, actually helps. Well, that’s where karma came in. Guess what happens to the plates during the reception? The paint leaks off onto people's food.
It rains at their wedding and is the coldest day on record for June in our area. Their wedding is chock full of decor she had bought in the days prior at TJ Maxx. Some of the stuff still had price tags on. On top of it, she cheats on him. One and a half years later, he was both divorced and married again. Then, my wife’s other brother get engaged.
They include my wife as a bridesmaid probably to attempt to forego any drama (she wasn't REALLY included), and possibly to appease the mom. Her parents and brothers all start attending the same church that doesn't recognize or condone homosexuality. Awesome. The church lumps queer people in with "hoes, dealers, and drinkers”.
They don't bat an eye. Despite being a queer couple, once we had the necessary goods it was incredibly easy starting a family for us. We are blessed with two daughters, who happily will never know such family drama. Well, Todd is impotent and her other brother requires expensive intervention to conceive.
5. Communication Is Key
Just as early Covid was happening and no one really understood the implications, a family member was right about to have their wedding. Social distancing was just starting and masks were barely something the public needed. The original invites had been sent out months before. But they sent two updated invites. One said more news to follow.
The next new invite said what everyone expected—that it was now a small wedding. There was no new RSVP. Small weddings were just starting to happen. The family thought that the real one was happening next year, as mentioned in the invite. With a follow-up party the following year. Being a polite family, everyone thought the couple were nicely trying to say don't come, but come if you must see us get married in the church.
Well, it backfired spectacularly. No one actually came. Apparently the real one was this year and a small informal party was supposed to be next year for the supposed few who would bow out. They had an entire church and hall rented out. We all missed the wedding. None of the aunts, uncles, cousins, etc, extended family showed up.
They had a huge banquet, and no one came. To make it worse, a few days later another family member had a socially distanced outdoor wedding on a farm. Everyone came. Everyone sat far apart and wore masks. And there was a separated food truck line, etc. The previous bride and groom had to sit through everyone coming to another family member’s wedding, while no one came to theirs.
Multiple people even apologized to them for what happened. The bride looked like she was near tears the entire time. However I'm not sure they would have been able to have a socially distanced reception anyways, because it was not outdoors. Major bummer. We all felt really bad.
6. Beggars Can’t Be Choosers
For your enjoyment, I give you the story of my very first wedding shoot. When I was just starting out in photography, I took low pay for full-day shoots. I had a few photos to show off, but not a pro-level portfolio. I got the chance to do a wedding, so I charged the lady $600 for eight hours. I was new and we all gotta start somewhere, right? I had no clue what I was in for...
It was at this really swanky local place. Old house converted into a wedding venue. She paid the $300, non-refundable deposit a couple of months before the wedding. The check bounced. It should have been a clue, but I needed the work and the pictures. I called and emailed her to let her know what happened. She apologized. She swears she'll pay the full balance, in cash, at the wedding.
I get there the day of, and there is no one in charge. Find the bride, she says she's going to get her money. Vanishes for 45 minutes. Find her again, she says her mom has it. Can't find her mom. Find the mom, she's clueless. A couple of hours go by and I help myself to the free food, wedding starts. At this point, I figure what the heck, I'll take some pictures anyway for my portfolio.
Her uncle is there with a camera constantly getting in my shots. I had to ask him to move or sit down five different times. Ceremony is over, they're doing the normal post-ceremony stuff. Finally get bride alone, says she's going to get the money right then. Doesn't return for half an hour, then says her new hubby has it. I finally realize, I ain't getting paid for this, but at least I got food and drinks and some experience.
I started up a conversation with the DJ, ask him in a joking way if he's been paid. He says of course, I tell him what's going on. He checks his bank right then and wouldn't you know it, his check had bounced too. He calls her over the PA (he's clearly done this before) and when she gets there, he informs her of the bounced check. I ask again about my money as well.
She makes some excuse about having to run to the car to get it. I tell her she's told me her mom had it, her husband had it, and she's gone to personally get it twice in the last four hours. So, no. She can call someone over to go get it for her. She starts whining that we're ruining her day and she'll pay us at the end. I’ll never forget what the DJ did next. He said, "Sorry, I don't work for free”.
He then cuts the music in the middle of everyone dancing and started unhooking his equipment. She loses it. He tells her she's got five minutes to get his money, or he's out. I tell her the same. She runs off, and 10 minutes later, I'm helping the DJ pack up his stuff. Her, her husband, her parents, and the uncle stop us at the door saying they have us for four more hours, we have a contract and we can't leave.
We both politely tell her that she hasn't held up her end of the contract by not paying for services by the appointed time. We agree that if we get our money right then, we'll stay. Shockingly, no one had the money for it, so we left. Here's the best part. She calls me a month later stating that she just got back from her honeymoon, and saw me taking pictures, saw the thumbnails on my site but couldn't access them without a code and she'd like her pictures and the code.
I told her I'd be happy to give her the proofs, and she could order the individual pictures she wanted from me, once she paid me the $600 she owed. She then spent the next two weeks emailing me and leaving me voicemails stating that I either needed to give her her wedding pictures or remove them from my site because she didn't give me permission to use them and she owns the copyright, or she'd take me to court.
I politely reminded her of the contract, told her that this isn't how that works, and said I'd be happy to meet her in court with all of my documentation, including my contract, bank statements showing bounced check, etc. Never heard from her again. Suffice it to say, now I won't even put your date down on my calendar until you've paid the deposit, and if you're still not fully paid up on the day of, my equipment won't come out of my car until I've been paid in full, if I even show up to begin with.
7. There’s No Way To Make Up For This Mistake
My wedding was this past weekend in Los Angeles. I first paid for a preliminary makeup trial with my makeup artist in March. I then chose to hire this makeup artist a week or so later in March and signed a contract and paid a deposit with her. In the contract she was to provide herself and one other makeup artist to do makeup on eight women for my wedding day.
The months go by and about 10 days before my wedding I ran through a timeline and schedule for her for the wedding day. Everything was fine. Fast forward to wedding weekend, it’s 9:30 am and she’s 15 minutes late, I’m annoyed but not too alarmed and text her. She has her read receipts on so I can see she read my message but doesn’t get back to me…
I start to get nervous. I proceed to message her multiple times. She finally gets back to me around 10:15 am, an hour after her scheduled start time. She tells me her daughter was in the hospital since 4 am with Covid. I ask her where her other makeup artist is that she was supposed to bring and why she didn’t get a hold of me sooner. She makes excuses.
She ends up sending another makeup artist around noon, three hours after the scheduled start time. This makeup artist only has time to do three people of the eight that she was hired for because she is alone when there were supposed to be two makeup artists. We don’t get out the door until 3:30 pm. My other five bridesmaids had to pay Ubers for their husbands to bring them their makeup bags. It was absolutely mortifying.
Because we are almost three hours behind schedule, my entire wedding ended up being three hours behind schedule. This affected every aspect of our wedding and basically thousands of dollars. The wedding coordinator was preoccupied putting out fires because of the makeup artist so there were aspects of my wedding that were executed incorrectly, such as hundreds of dollars in candles not being set up and lit, hundreds of dollars in fresh eucalyptus not being set out, and guest table place cards not being out.
The photographers were only booked for eight hours so most of their time was spent waiting for our makeup to get done and the wedding to begin, this means we didn’t get any dancing pictures of the reception. The catering threw away our leftover food because the planner was scrambling to fix the other things that were incorrect.
Our dancing and reception as cut short because the whole wedding was delayed due to makeup and this effected the money we spent on the hired DJ. Not to mention the emotional and mental damages done…I was crying and miserable most of the day and it shows in the sneak peek of photos we have gotten back from the photographers.
Still, I understood that a sick child takes precedent—until I learned the disturbing truth. This makeup artist was working another wedding on my wedding day. She was not sick. Just sick in the head. I did get my $100 deposit back from her but we still paid her other makeup artist $300 for the three girls she ended up doing makeup on.
In total, if we are talking about the DJ, coordinator, florals, and photography the total financial damage comes up to $10,000. All because of this one makeup artist.
8. Not Messing Around
My aunt and uncle are scum. They and my cousins lived with us when we were young because they needed help. When the tables were turned they treated my dad like garbage, laughed when I asked for a ride to my friend’s funeral, consistently ignored their kids so that my dad had to be their parent, and then would act like they've done nothing but favors for us.
After my father passed, my aunt tried to make the whole thing about her. We moved out of their house the same day he passed and we haven't seen/talked to them in the eight years since it happened. My wedding is in two months. I've invited my cousins because we grew up together and are practically siblings. Last night I received a FB message from my cousin—and when I opened it, my blood ran cold.
There was a screenshot from my aunt asking if she's invited. I told my cousin that I would handle it. She knew I was going to say no, even her own kids hate her. So I got her phone number from someone else. I sent the screenshot and texted her "Hey this is your niece, my cousin told me you were wondering if you were invited to the wedding. No, you and your husband are not invited. I will not have terrible people in my life anymore and if you show up, you will be thrown out for trespassing”.
No response from her, but my cousin told me they are freaking out about it and throwing a fit and making threats. I'm happy, I'm so happy. I don't care about the ensuing drama, I don't care if she does try to show up. I have waited since I was 11 years old to tell her off. That’s when she laughed in my face when I asked if my parents could borrow her car to take me to my friend's funeral.
If she tried to show up to our wedding, I'll probably hit her in the face and go straight back to dancing. I haven’t seen most of my family since I left for college. I have worked hard and made sacrifices to ensure my life and future family will not have to deal with the things my family did while I was growing up. I do not budge when it comes to terrible people anymore. I banned my own mother from coming.
9. Hashtag Doomed
I am the general manager of a restaurant often rented for weddings and other events. Bride has paid full balance on the event space. The package she purchased was ONLY for the space and the outside catering fee along with the other service charges, etc. She and her wedding coordinator ran through the contract with a fine tooth comb.
Yesterday we had our final meeting prior to the wedding which is in a little than two weeks. That’s when chaos broke out. At the meeting the bride informs me that the headcount is now 140 instead of 100. I let her know we would have to amend her invoice accordingly for the outside catering fee. She pouts and her fiancé says “I told you that we would have to pay more, but you didn’t listen”!
But they agree to the new amount and groom is huffing and rolling his eyes at every idea she mentions. She informs me that the chairs she rented fell through and that she’ll need to use some of our chairs. I inform her that we cannot provide additional chairs other than the seating already in the space she rented because our restaurant is still open to the public.
The seating provided is picnic tables and a very nice assortment of lawn and patio chairs. It’s an outdoor area, not commonly used for weddings in December. She’s nearly in tears because it’s not on theme with her vision for the ceremony—but the chairs are acceptable for the reception. Again, her fiancé makes her feel worse with the “I told you so” remarks.
The coordinator and I assure her that while we will have to be creative, we can make it work. It won’t look traditional, but will still fit into her “Rustic Winter Wonderland” theme. Bride seems placated, but groom is now laughing at her and petting her in a very patronizing way. Not sure if I can describe it, but it’s something my husband does to me playfully and mockingly when we both know I’ve done something stupid or boneheaded and we can equally laugh about it.
That was not the dynamic here. Finally, as I’m asking for contact information for each of her vendors that will be onsite, she informs me that her photographer backed out. This was apparently news to the wedding coordinator as well. So I’m helping them brainstorm ways to have their wedding captured, and the coordinator suggests using a hashtag with the groom’s last name.
The bride suggests they shorten the last name because it is a difficult name for a lot of people to spell. That’s when the groom loses it. Let me tell you, real quick, that these people were already nutty. Also, they are very religious and kept talking about propriety and how there will be absolutely NO drinking allowed because it’s the devil’s poison and how modest they expect the guests to dress, etc.
But then they mentioned the song that will play for their dance is the song they wake up to each morning, and caught themselves and tried to backtrack and say that they call each other and listen to it together. Anyway, back to the groom losing it. He gets up from the table and says “Forget this! Now you’re trying to butcher my last name!? That’s garbage”!
The bride was mortified and tried to calm him down but he was not having it. He yelled: “I can’t do this anymore. You keep lying to people about how we got together and why are we paying all this money for a wedding when we already live together” ?! The bride then again asks her fiancé if they can talk in private, but he storms out with “I’m out. I can’t do this anymore. Find someone else to marry in a couple of weeks since you want this wedding so bad”!
When I initially met them, I could tell they were a typical super-religious couple where the man is dominant over the woman, so as much as it annoyed me, I did my sales pitch as selling the vision to the bride while keeping the cost within his budget. Planning a wedding is stressful, and I’ve seen my share of wedding drama after years of being in the industry.
But this one will haunt me, because—they went on with the wedding, and it was such a disaster. The weather was a windy 40°F and we had fire pits and several propane heaters out there, but the bride wanted a cold wedding, but apparently failed to inform her guests that it was an outdoor-only wedding. So remember that I had to add more money to the invoice because their headcount increased?
Well, they were not happy about that and waited until the very last minute to pay it. But then the day comes (yesterday). They ask to use our microphone and sound setup. No one brings a laptop. No one brings an aux-compatible device from which to play their Spotify list. Using our sound and sound tech is another add-on we offer, which they declined.
I add that to the invoice they still have outstanding and inform them that the wedding cannot begin until it’s paid. So the groom begrudgingly pays it. Everyone is freezing. Bride insisted on tall centerpieces, but after the wind knocked over two of them, breaking the vases, the wedding coordinator nixes the tall ones and just lays the flowers on the tables like sprays.
Their designated button pusher they asked to run the wedding playlist doesn’t know what the heck she’s doing. Did I mention everyone is freezing? The outside caterers don’t bring heating trays so the food is sitting on a table getting cold. Bride arrived almost an hour late. For the unity candle, they only brought the unity candle itself but forgot the taper candles with which to light the unity candle.
They ran an entire worship service in lieu of a traditional wedding ceremony. Everyone is freezing. Bride sang about four songs, very pitchy, a cappella. Headcount only ended up being 75 people. The groom’s cake was poop emoji themed. I’m not kidding. They brought nothing with which to cut either cake. Had to borrow our set. They brought nothing with which to serve cake. No plates, no extra forks.
They brought nothing with which to box the leftover cake. They had no music during the dinner or reception because they wanted us to change the restaurant station to praise and worship music, which we refused since the rest of the restaurant was still open. Their button-pusher left early because she was freezing. Here’s the best part.
The groom pulls me aside and says that they deserve a refund since most of their guests didn’t show up—or left when everything kept getting delayed. I explain to him that I did the pricing based on what was reported to me by his bride and the wedding coordinator. I also explain how they used much more of our items than was in the contract, without extra charge.
Then he starts feeding me a story about how he was behind bars until just 9 months ago and how blessed he is, but also starts threatening me with God’s vengeance if I don’t get him his refund. He’s literally waving a fist at me as he speaks to me in passionate tones, like he’s trying to preach to me and make me feel convicted, because God believes I owe him a refund since just under half the guests didn’t show up or stay for dinner.
One of my other managers, Ron, is a bouncer-looking veteran, takes-no-guff-from-anyone type, who is very protective of me. He sees what’s going down and hurries over. I’m doing fine at staying assertive, but when the groom sees Ron, he starts backing down and talking like a human being. He immediately changes his conversation and starts playing the good guy and asks Ron about how he can help move all the patio furniture back.
In other words, groom didn’t want any actual trouble from Ron but thought he could talk down to this “woman”. Ron knows me better and didn’t for once think I couldn’t handle myself. He only stepped in because he thought I might be in physical danger. I am not refunding anything and if they want to leave a bad review, I’m ready to respond to it.
10. Don’t Rain On Her Parade
I work as a bartender at events and I had a doozy of a wedding this past weekend. The bride insisted on having her wedding outside, despite the fact that there was a 100% chance of rain forecasted all weekend for the past week. The owners of the venue begged her to let them set up the ceremony in their indoor chapel. Her response was so bratty.
The bride insisted that she chose the venue for the outside ceremony area and that it’s the venue’s responsibility to…I don’t know. Make it stop raining? The couple only paid for the bar service to serve a selection of signature cocktails. Nothing else. No sodas. So the guests could either drink cocktails or water. They didn’t even provide us with water bottles to hand out to the guests.
The kitchen staff had to handle the water, but they weren’t contracted to start their dinner service until 7:00. Cocktail hour starts at 5:00 and was supposed to go until 6:00 when the ceremony was supposed to begin. The couple finally relent and decide to move the wedding indoors around 7:00. It takes almost an hour to break down the wedding arch/candles and move them I doors.
The ceremony takes place at 8:15. Everyone is nearly trashed because they insisted we extend the cocktail hour until the ceremony began. We had to cut people off who appeared physically intoxicated, due to also having not eaten anything. Since we had only been contracted until 10:00, I asked the wedding planner and owners if we needed to extend the contract to 11:00 or midnight.
Every time I asked, they said “no” because they didn’t or shouldn’t have to pay the extra hours. The ceremony concludes around 9:00 and it’s finally dinner time. They had ordered enough food and cocktails for 100 people. 150 people showed up. They ran out of food, and by the time they finished with dinner, the bar was closing.
Everyone was furious and kept blaming the venue and my bartenders, when neither issue was our fault. But it all went back to one person. I 100% blame the wedding planner—who was also the maid of honor—who was the one calling the (wrong) shots. Also, the bride and groom trashed their dressing rooms. Moved furniture, spilled drinks, scuffed up the walls... it was a nightmare.
11. Counting Down The Days—For All The Wrong Reasons
My fiancé and I have been long-distance between states for 4.5 years. We see each other once every two months. We are from the same town, and our families live nearby one another. Our wedding was supposed to be in August 2020, at which point he would move to NYC with me. However, we called off the big wedding for the safety of everyone involved.
We have been quarantining in our respective states so that we could both work and save money. We decided that it would be potentially safe for me to visit family in July, and decided to do a small elopement in my parents’ backyard, followed by a distanced garage door movie night of The Princess Bride, our favorite movie, for my parents’ cul de sac.
My father is picking me up in NYC the week before the wedding in a car. We were able to get all of our vendors to reschedule without a hitch, pick a day, and figure out ways to make things work all from separate states. The wedding is going to be in a state with extremely lax COVID rules, and I am coming from NYC, which is the opposite.
There will be 15 people present. Keeping our families safe and adhering to guidelines is extremely important to us. So we are asking that everyone distance, and only enter the house to use the restroom one at a time where there will be sanitizing wipes to clean doorknobs. My fiancé REALLY wants to hug everyone after, which I am uncomfortable with because of different homes, but I agreed that if people wore masks I would feel slightly better.
Everyone was super understanding and grateful for the precautions. Except my mother. I was so freaking excited for this small wedding and feeling good about everything, but now, it's totally gone. I've always been extremely close to my family, but as we near the wedding, they are continually pushing me away. As we are handling all of this planning, I had a huge falling out with my mother's extended family, who I have very little contact with.
They were using terrible, disgusting prejudiced language on social media, and I very politely told them it was vile and wrong. This caused me to receive insane amounts of texts from all of them, and they even hunted down my address of where I live and were flaunting it. I felt extremely unsafe so blocked all of them from social media/having any way to contact me.
Flashback to a week ago. My fiancé and I called my mother to discuss what sorts of burritos we should order, since my parents have very kindly offered to purchase food. Out of nowhere, she immediately turns the subject from if we should get rice and beans or sweet potato burritos into a screaming match about how COVID is fake and she will not come near me or wear a mask to hug me the day of the wedding.
She says her family hates her because of me, I'm keeping planning “secret” from her, and that everyone in both families thinks I'm high maintenance and out of control. My fiancé sat on Skype totally stunned, as he had just finished complimenting me on how surprised he was at the level of chill I have had, and the fact that we were literally calling to discuss the only plan necessary. Burritos.
My father called me after—and what he said broke my heart into a million pieces. He yelled at me about how I needed to elope without them present because he was sick of my mom and he didn't want to deal with it anymore. I broke down because my dad and I are EXTREMELY close, and I can't imagine him not walking me down the aisle.
I'm going to be staying with my family the week before the wedding, so it will be safe. At this point, I asked my fiancé if we could completely cancel and just elope with no family, but it is super important to him his family is there. He is moving eight hours away from them for me, and I want to make sure that he can spend this time with them, so I understand.
I tried for a full week to talk my mother down, include her in more, ask her opinion. All of her responses were short one-word text answers, and she would refuse to answer any phone calls. Finally, after watching an episode of Parks and Rec where Ben tells off his family, I told her that all she had to do was act happy in pictures and fake being nice to me.
If she couldn't handle that, she didn't need to come and we would pay for everything ourselves and change location. The fight immediately ended when I called her out, and she is now being actually helpful again and asking polite questions. HOWEVER, today I received a call from my 13-year-old sister who asked if "I really wanted to see her the week before the wedding”.
It’s because a friend invited her on vacation and she would be back the day before the wedding. I never get to see my little sister and we are just getting to the point where she thinks I'm “cool” again—we have a 14-year age difference. I was really looking forward to some time together where we could watch cheesy teen movies she's finally old enough for and make decor.
When she asked me if she could ditch, I totally lost it and just started sobbing. I know that was unfair to pin on her, but with everything that had been happening with my mother, I was like "Great, no one wants to be here”. I also feel unsafe about her going to a heavily populated beach right now with the dangers it may pose.
She felt terrible and started crying and said that she was just bummed because our family never goes on vacations and this would be her chance. I felt like total garbage after. She is most likely not going on the trip now, but I am afraid it's going to get chalked up to me sucking, and negate her wanting to spend time with me while I'm home.
I called my maid of honor who immediately gave me a pump-up speech about how I've really been the opposite of dramatic through this insane process, and that she was mad everyone is just walking all over me while I make concessions for them. My fiancé finally offered to elope without family, but I could tell he was extremely upset. My family has never been like this before, and I know there is a lot going on right now in the world, so I understand.
And weddings always supposedly cause tension, which I also understand. It just sucks, because two weeks ago, I was feeling good and totally relishing in how awesome the day would be. But I'm starting to feel like I am just a passenger on the journey everyone else is taking for this day and I don't get to drive at all. I'm not even excited, and I'm just counting down the next two weeks until it's done and my fiancé and I finally live together.
12. Putting The Cart Before The Horse
I got engaged only a few months ago to my boyfriend of eight years. We are very happy together and getting engaged has been wonderful, but neither of us are really looking to plan anything extravagant right now. Besides the fact that a lot of weddings have been postponed and rescheduled due to the pandemic, it is also challenging to get a date and a venue.
Most importantly, neither of us have the money to sink into a wedding right now nor do we want to waste money on it. There’s just one problem. My mom and future mother-in-law don’t care. They frequently ask if I’ve made any plans which I always tell them “no” in a nice way, but they’ve started getting much more pushy. The other day my mom told me that she was ready to start making plans for it.
I asked her who she thought was paying for this and she said that it didn’t matter. Like, how does it not matter? I don’t have $30,000 to drop on a wedding, I’d much rather put that towards a house! And my mother-in-law is starting to dictate who is on the guest list and who shouldn’t make the cut. Again, where do people get off thinking that this is appropriate?
Now you may be reading this and think that I’m just overreacting and that they’re simply excited, but I’d like to add a little context to this story. My older brother got married only two years ago, and my mom was a pill for that too. She only cared about buying herself a dress and showing off to everyone. I don’t use drastic words normally, but she is one hundred percent a narcissist.
She only cares about one person and that’s herself. My future mother-in-law has never had one of her kids get married before so this would be the first wedding for her. The more I look at the situation, the more I see that they aren’t really happy for my fiancée and I, they want this wedding right away so they can get attention from friends and family. Ugh!
13. Good Riddance To Bad Rubbish
An old friend, who I'd been drifting apart from, invited herself to be my bridesmaid. I was too nice to tell her "no," although I'd had no intention of asking her to be in the wedding. Big mistake. She's been really out of hand, refusing to work, and trying to fake illnesses and conditions in order to get disability. She's been mooching off everyone in order to keep her lifestyle, which includes a new Mercedes.
She's had two years to save money for a $30 dress, but has failed to do so. She's making the rest of the bridal party uncomfortable, and me REALLY stressed. And to top it all off, she's dictating what is and isn't allowed at my bachelorette party. I—as politely as possible—told her she was demoted. I tried to put the blame on myself, telling her it was my own stress and anxiety at her inability to pay, and even offered to treat her as much like a bridesmaid as possible.
Initially, I felt awful, but I just couldn't handle the drama and stress. And considering what she did next, I don't feel that guilty anymore. She has been texting not only me, but also my maid of honor relentlessly for the past 48 hours. Neither of us has been rude. We've been sugar coating literally everything because we don't want to be mean.
At one point we ignored her, but she just kept messaging. Finally, we both caved and responded. My MOH politely told she didn't want to be caught up in all this, and backed me up 100%. She's made all this 100% about her. She doesn't care about me AT ALL, or the fact this is MY wedding. Her messages have been ramblings about how she's heartbroken because she's never been a bridesmaid before.
She's BEGGED for the link to the dress, which she can suddenly afford, along with every other thing; dinners, gas, etc, which she couldn't afford before. She accused me of punishing her for "being poor”. I tried to explain to her that not knowing if I could count on her was stressing me out, she acted like my stress and my anxiety meant nothing.
Even though I'm angry, I feel like I still can't tell her EVERY reason she's been "fired". How can you say, "Your mooching and scamming is making you unbearable"? She's obviously got some mental problems, and I won't want to be the person to push her over the edge. The longer this continues, though, the more angry she makes me. She's also started messaging my fiancé, on top of my MOH.
It honestly makes me really mad that she's made them more uncomfortable when it's not their fight. I tried to tell her that it was MY decision, not theirs, but she won't stop. She's literally making me out to be a terrible person, but honestly, I've been as nice as I possibly can. Like I said, how can you tell someone that they're terrible?!
I thought that focusing on her inability to pay was the kinder option, but I feel like it's just made it easier for her to turn it around and make me seem like a piece of work and to guilt-trip me. I sent her what I considered to be a final message, hoping to reiterate—gently, but firmly—that my choice was final. Well, that final message must have really teed her off, because she blocked both me and my MOH on Facebook—like we were the ones bombarding her with messages?
Truthfully, I was a little relieved that I didn't have to do it to her. Since then, she's been publicly talking smack about me on Facebook. I know that's nothing I can control, and I don't really care what her friends think of me, but it just makes me mad that I did my best to be kind in this awful situation, and it has somehow made it even easier for her to make me seem evil.
Why have I felt guilty and bothered being nice when she's being so awful and petty? To my own amazement, I kind of want to message her something a little bit mean. She's out there spewing awful stuff about me, so why should I protect her feelings anymore? I'm overly nice and it's so out of character for me, but I kind of what to tell her: that it's really terrible to take advantage of everyone you know, and to pretend to have autism, narcolepsy, PTSD, and agoraphobia. Because it is.
People struggle with that stuff and to her it's just a ploy to get attention and money. She's a terrible (ex) bridesmaid, a terrible friend, and frankly, a terrible person.
14. Until Death—Or Wedding Party Duties—Do Us Part
My friend is getting married at the end of this year and has had some issues with her future in-laws. She gets along with her in-laws but isn’t particularly close to them due to them being very different—as in, they’re pretty nuts. Most recently, her soon-to-be brother-in-law’s wife started telling the family that she was offended that the bride was not including her in her wedding planning and was not asked to be a bridesmaid.
She is not even remotely close to the sister-in-law and they do not hang out and are VERY different people so it would make no sense for her to have to ask her to be a bridesmaid (nor should she have to). And as for the wedding planning…baffles me that she thinks she has any right to be included. The bride isn’t asking anyone, she’s doing everything herself.
But the best part of all of this is the brother-in-law is now saying he can’t be in the wedding—and the reason why is hilarious. It’s because he can’t walk down the aisle with another woman because it’s against his vows. We have a few months before the wedding so we’ll have to see how this all plays out.
15. When The Best Man Is The Worst
I'm from a small country town, everyone knows everyone. There is almost always something crazy that happens at the weddings my very large family has. At one wedding the DJ’s wife at the reception just pulled up her shirt and flashed everyone for a full 30 seconds. But let’s get onto the real story...Me and my sister showed up a few hours earlier to help set up for our cousin’s wedding.
The venue is at this gorgeous farm/ranch. Guests have started arriving and were waiting in the barn that is being used as the reception area, while waiting for them to tell us it is time to take our seats outside. Well, in walks the best man and his wife. Now a little backstory here about them. They met in high school—we all went to school together—and their relationship is seriously twisted.
He has been cheating on her from day one with any female that will give him the time of day. She knows this—the whole town knows this—and still she chooses to stay. This creates a lot of jealousy and insecurity within her. Back to the wedding—the best man enters with his wife, and the crowd around me, myself included, loudly gasped.
This horrible woman was seriously wearing a WHITE BACKLESS DRESS WITH SEQUINS! No one said anything to her though, but you could hear the room break out in whispers, as everyone started talking about her in their separate social circles. 30 minutes go by and were asked to take our seats outside. As with most weddings, the bridesmaids and groomsmen were paired up to enter and exit together.
The best man was paired up with the maid of honor, naturally. Well, his white-clad wife did not like that. She was mad he didn't walk her to her seat, and was angry when the ceremony was over and he exited the aisle with the maid of honor…as planned, and practiced in the rehearsal dinner the night before. The wedding party was supposed to go back after everyone cleared out to the barn for the reception, so the photographer could get photos of the wedding party.
In that short ten minutes between the ceremony concluding, and the wedding party going back for photographs, no one could find the best man for the pics. The father of the bride went looking. Found them in the parking lot arguing and making a scene. Best man’s wife slapped him three times in the face—before he backhanded her too.
The father of the bride kicked them out for the remainder of the event. Only the close family helping to run the event really knew what was going on, so none of the other guests even had a clue. The rest of the night went on without incident.
16. Feathers: Ruffled
I have this coworker who I thought was super sweet. She's older, around 50, and childless. I'm 25. She and I talked a lot at work and I've told her about my fiancé and our engagement. She offered to help with my wedding, and she offered to buy me a wedding dress. With me being the humble, shy girl I am I politely refused her overly kind gesture.
I told her it was okay, she didn't have to do that for me. Over time I have been discovering she is someone you have to be very careful with. She loves to bad-mouth other people while being sweet to their face. So, before I came to the notion above, she decided to buy me a wedding dress after she asked me about the styles I liked.
Yup, lo and behold this lady bought me an actual dress! I thanked her and tried it on at home while my fiancé was at work. It was even worse than I could have imagined. Somehow, it was nothing like the photo of the dress she said she was going to order. It was poorly made with cheap material, and it looked terrible on me. I am average built and this made me look like I had an 8.5 months pregnant belly and HUMONGOUS hips!
I was thinking to myself, "No way! Where did she get this thing”? I was assuming it probably cost like 20 bucks from some crappy China-based website. Needless to say, I will not be wearing it to my wedding. Later on, my coworker surprised me and said she was going to order me a hair piece to go with it. Again, I politely declined her offer. And? You guessed it.
She ordered me a hair piece. I opened the package, not knowing what kind of hairpiece this was going to be. It was a freaking tiara. I was like, "Are you kidding me”? This lady knows I'm not super girly, she knows I'm rather tomboyish, and that's what she got me. It too, was super cheaply made, and it was too small for my fat head anyway.
Then, she started telling me I need four dresses for my wedding. One for engagement photos, one for the rehearsal, one for the ceremony, and one for the reception. This time, with a little more annoyance, I told her that I do not need all this. She bought me an "engagement dress" anyway. This thing was HIDEOUS. Denim, low square-cut neckline, and 3 sizes too big.
It came from Old Navy, of all places. Furthermore...My fiancé has met her and he does not like her. He is a very good judge of character and he knows something about her is fishy. I have picked up on it too as time has progressed. Why would this lady I work with (whom I still don't know super well) go out of her way to order me a bunch of cheap stuff?
I get that it's a nice gesture but in my mind, if you're going to buy someone a wedding dress, why would you order something from somewhere that you know is going to be so badly made? Why would you order a tiara for someone who you know is not into that sort of thing? Why would you buy someone this garbage even though they repeatedly (and politely) declined it?
I feel like this lady has overstepped her boundaries. I took all the stuff she gave me and donated it. I took a leave of absence from work in order to focus on school for the semester. I returned in May and her attitude towards me was totally different. She barely went out of her way to talk to me or look at me. Essentially, I picked up on a different vibe from her. I would simply say hi to her now and then if we crossed paths but otherwise I would ignore her.
I discovered the other day that she unfriended me on Facebook. I was sitting back, waiting to see if she'd do the deed herself and to my surprise she did! I haven't heard anything bad about me via the grapevine (yet) but I anticipate hearing something negative at some point.
17. The Ultimatum
I don’t even have a date for our wedding yet, and I already can’t take my mom’s heat. We know it will be sometime in September of next year. I already picked out my colors and my bridesmaids. I chose my bridesmaids based on the relationship I have with them and how they make me feel. I chose my two sisters, a close friend, and my stepmom who I see more as a third sister.
Well, my mother became furious that I had chosen her as a bridesmaid. She said it would look bad. That I needed to choose my cousins instead. I haven’t talked to my cousins in years. I have no idea what they’re up to. I saw them once last year during my father’s memorial service. I will be inviting them for sure, but not as my bridesmaids.
Again, I wanted to have people I’m closer with. I tried to explain to my mother how I felt but she just kept going on about how I should have my wedding. What she said next was devastating. She told me that if I don’t take my stepmom off my bridesmaids list, she will not be attending. I was really upset and shocked to hear words like that come off her mouth.
She’s always saying she will do anything to make me happy, and how much she loves me. Well, this made it clear that she’s making my special day about her. I never understood her hatred against my stepmom. My parents split years before my dad met my her, and she’s been nothing but nice to me. I’m already stressed and annoyed at this that I have even considered a courthouse wedding to avoid drama.
Should I have to replace a bridesmaid because my mom does not like her?
18. Playing Favorites
There are two key pieces of context needed to understand the dynamic here. One, I'm VERY close with my future mother, father, and brother-in-law. I have a tumultuous relationship with my own family, and they've welcomed me wholeheartedly from the day I met them. Well, except the one black sheep of the family... You see, my future sister-in-law is my father-in-law’s daughter from a previous marriage.
Her mother remarried a wealthy man who gave her literally everything she ever wanted. She was also allowed to do anything she wanted with no consequences, whereas my in-laws enforced some basic house rules. Nothing crazy, just a curfew and no boys in her room with the door closed. As a result, she hated spending time with her dad’s side as was mandated by the courts and moved in with her mother full time the day she turned 18.
Because of what she was used to—her mother bailing her out whenever she got herself into trouble—she never really matured past the age of about 13. For additional context, she's in her 30s while my fiancé and I are in our early 20s. Now on to the story. My dad is not a major part of my life. He struggled with addiction for most of my life and chose to let my mother have sole custody until he got clean (which he did).
I've now spent the past couple of years awkwardly building a relationship with him, but I'm not comfortable with him walking me down the aisle. I joked about this with my in-laws while chatting about wedding plans, as my mother-in-law is a wedding planner and is planning ours. That’s when my father-in-law told me that my sister-in-law had once eloped with her boyfriend of less than 6 months at age 19 and moved in with him halfway across the US.
They divorced a year later. As a result, my mother-in-law didn't get to plan her wedding and my father-in-law didn't get to walk her, his only daughter, down the aisle. A few days later, I asked him to walk me down the aisle, which he accepted. This is where the trouble started. Last night, my in-laws invited my partner, his siblings, and I over for dinner. Eventually, the topic of my father-in-law walking me down the aisle came up in conversation.
My sister-in-law lost her mind when she found out. She started screaming and crying. She called me a "stupid, attention-seeking B-word " for asking her dad. Her logic is that she wants her dad to walk her down the aisle first…if she ever has a wedding. She’s not currently seeing anyone. My fiancé and I left immediately afterward, so I don't have a first had account of what happened.
But according to my brother-in-law, his parents attempted to talk some sense into her. Their attempts at reasoning with her failed. Then brother-in-law left, but saw her storm out of the house as he was pulling away. I haven't spoken to anyone other than my brother-in-law since then. I don't know what to do. I got so attached to the idea of being walked down, and I don't want to let go of that.
This also isn't the first time she's pulled something like this, and I don't want to reward it. But I also don't want her to have any ill will towards me because of this.
19. The Less The Merrier
We found out today through social media that my soon-to-be sister-in-law invited her teenage daughter’s boyfriend to our wedding and they are all flying in together. Did I mention my wedding is in a week? And that’s not all. My fiancé’s cousin insists we (the bride and groom) coordinate a ride from the airport for him.
He also just decided to let us know today that he might be bringing a plus one. Even though no plus ones were invited for anyone. And when we said that the place cards, seating chart, chair rentals, catering, was already accounted for he told us no big deal that she can just “sit on his lap” and “eat his food”.
20. Revenge Is Sweet
I was supposed to get married to my ex-fiancé Mason on the 20th of this month. But last week, my world fell apart. A mutual friend caught him cheating with his ex Kim, so I called it off. Because it's so close to our wedding date, I had already booked everything like the venue, catering and everything else. I barely managed to get any money back as it's mostly non-refundable so in total I've lost $20,000.
Last year I took out a loan to cover the costs of the wedding, the longer I take to repay it the more interest it gets. When we first got engaged, Mason agreed to share our finances together, meaning had we got married I would've been able to pay it off. This was supposed to be in our pre-nup but because we didn't get married, it meant he no longer had to share finances.
I asked him if he was still willing to help and told him that I will go into debt if he doesn't as I can't repay it alone. He told me ''It isn't my problem you took out a loan you can't pay back'' and stopped responding after that. Well, I knew just how to get back at him. When we got engaged, Mason proposed to me with a family heirloom ring belonging to his great-grandmother that was worth $25,000.
When we canceled the wedding, he told me he wanted the ring back but we never got around to arranging a time he could pick it up. Because I don't want to go into debt, I told him that if he didn't agree to help pay it off that I would sell the ring. He didn't reply and ignored the messages however after talking to a mutual friend named Jake I found out he had actually read the messages and told everyone he didn't care because I ''wouldn't do it''.
I asked Jake to tell Mason that if I don't get a message from him in the next 24 hours that I would sell the ring. Jake told me he again said he didn't care and didn't think I would do it. So the next day I sold the ring to an online website and messaged Mason to tell him it had been done and told him he shouldn't have underestimated me.
He started cussing me out, saying I didn't care about him and that he would be around for the ring later. True to his word, he came to my house demanding the ring and I told him I sold it already and showed him the proof. He blew up at me, saying I was a petty piece of work and that I shouldn't have sold it because it wasn't just a ring, it was an heirloom that meant a lot to his family.
21. Runaway Groom
I have two older brothers, this is about the middle one. Our parents divorced when I was very young due to our mother’s insane jealousy. At first my dad was able to handle it but when she started making comments about me wanting to be like his wife he had enough. She quickly rebounded with a guy with two kids and had shared custody for a while.
But when my Dad got remarried she went crazy, calling his new wife every horrible name and claiming he was cheating on her while they were married. I was always closer to my brothers and dad than my mom because she was always very mean to me. Long story short, my stepmom was in a bad car accident and she didn’t make it.
My dad called my mom in the middle of the night letting her know he would pick us up earlier so we could attend the funeral. Her reaction was deranged. She decided to take us on a fun trip to “celebrate“ something. It was the happiest we've ever seen her and when we realized what happened and started crying she told us only worthless people cry for harlots.
Needless to say, things went nuclear and my Dad asked for full custody with visitation for her. He always left the line of communication open and paid for us to visit her when she moved away but it was still very bad and as soon as we turned 18 we started to lower contact with her. Last time we saw her was at my high school graduation where she made a point of letting everyone who would hear we were ungrateful kids and her husband would call us bad names too.
We’ve been no contact since then. My brother Sam started dating his girlfriend three years ago, she has heard all the stories and the reasons we are no contact but she believes we are just dramatic. They had many issues due to her opinions but she eventually seemed to drop the “you need to reconcile with your mother“ crusade.
But the whole time, she was hatching a disturbing plot. During the wedding planning, there was no indication of things going wrong or fishy. However, when we got to the church and lo and behold mom, her husband, and their two kids were sitting up front. I immediately panicked and called my brothers. Sam thought maybe somehow she found out and wanted to crash.
He called the bride to let her know of the potential drama but she told him it was fine since she invited them. Sam hung up and called to ask me to come get him while our oldest brother dealt with things at the church. We went home and barricaded ourselves there even when his ex, her family, friends, etc came to try and "make sense of it with him".
Mom’s husband even called and said he always knew we were worthless. Now that the dust has settled, most of Sam's friends are on his side and so is most of our family (on our dad’s side, of course). Sam’s ex’s parents already threatened to sue for the money they paid if he doesn't marry her, but Sam says he’d rather pay them back for their contribution than marry someone that betrayed him.
My nuclear family 100% supports Sam—but the backlash has been huge.
22. Your Culture Is Not My Costume
My partner proposed to me a few weeks ago. We immediately discussed our ideal wedding. We both wanted something intimate, partly because I have a tiny family, and he doesn’t keep in touch with a lot of his extended family. My parents and I immigrated from Eastern Europe when I was a child but I speak my home country’s language and honor many of our traditions for the holidays.
My partner is the eldest son of Chinese immigrants though he was born in Canada. He has a younger brother but he has severe medical issues and cannot live independently. Initially, his parents told us to do whatever we wanted for our wedding as long as we were happy. I was dumb enough to believe them. A week later, I called his mom to ask if there were any ceremonies or traditions she would like included in our wedding.
It was important for me to be inclusive especially since his parents had always been so welcoming. My mother-in-law said only the tea ceremony and red dress were important. A few days later, his mom and dad began to insist we invite all the cousins, their children too, and that we use the MC of their choice. His parents didn’t even consider that because I’m white, and my fiancé grew up in Canada (not really identifying with his cultural heritage) that we would want a Western-style wedding.
His parents had never seen or been to a Western wedding—or so they say. Before satellite TV did they never watch Canadian or American programming? I’ve been getting more and more frustrated because his parents aren’t even familiar with the Chinese wedding customs they claim we need to honor. When we ask a question they say they have to ask such and such because that person would know better and they aren’t sure what the expectations are.
Why do we need to adhere to traditions my in-laws aren’t even familiar with! His parents now insist that we have a Chinese-style banquet in a Chinese restaurant. My partner and I want to have a “traditional” ceremony with a white dress, ring exchange, bridal party etc. We were willing to compromise and have the Western wedding on the Saturday and the Chinese wedding the following day.
His parents said the tea ceremony had to happen the day we are wed and we would just have to have a longer day. In my opinion, if they want to control our wedding, they can pay for the portion and the additional day that they insist needs to happen important. I don’t want to go into debt or stretch our budget to accommodate traditions that have little or no meaning for us and potentially pay for two weddings when my in-laws weren’t even satisfied with that compromise.
23. It Starts Early
My fiancé proposed to me on vacation and we had just gotten back last Saturday. We were on vacation with his father and his father's wife. They’ve been married 20 years. They were over the moon ecstatic for us. Everyone on my side couldn't be happier for us, and we loved that energy. So Sunday rolls around and we're set to meet for lunch with my fiancé’s mom (plus her husband), his brother, and brother's long-time girlfriend.
At the lunch, his mother made a disturbing demand. She immediately insisted I take off my ring so she could inspect it, and I hesitantly obliged. She says that she saw that the center stone was loose somehow? Then she asked how many people we were thinking of inviting. Now, I have a huge family, many of my cousins are married so that basically doubles it, and all-in-all my invitees will be like 80 people.
Probably 99% of them will come since my family is super tight. My fiancé’s extended family is a mess so he doesn't want to even invite them, but his list will be about 30 people. Neither of us have a problem with this, it's just the facts. Cue some side-remarks about how much that will cost us, and we brush around it and start talking about something else.
We then go on to show our slideshow of pictures from the trip to Aruba. Again, little side remarks about every tiny thing? His mother physically turns away from the screen if she catches a glimpse of my fiancé’s father even though 20 years have passed. The lunch ends, and our ride home is one non-stop rant over the whole thing.
No one could just be happy, it was immediate anxiety and worrying and problem-finding. My fiancé was so discouraged that his side of the family did a complete 180 and wasn't even happy for him. So then the next day, my fiancé’s mom calls him and asks again why I am inviting so many people. He stands up for me to say it's my family who are all very important to me, and the total headcount of 110 people isn't even that huge of a wedding.
If anything it's about average. She then asserts that the money my fiancé’s father gives him can't be used on the wedding at all and can only be put towards a down payment on a house. I was shook. First of all, no one told her that his father was even contributing, and secondly, it's not her money! My fiancé and I are both frugal people and don't live outside our means.
I honestly planned on DIY-ing many aspects of the wedding. Once he started to explain this firmly, she pulled that she was "losing service" and hung up. She hasn't called him back. I'm blown away by this. His family has always said to my face and even "behind my back" that they loved me. We've been dating for over two years and the wedding is likely another two years away.
It strikes me as jealousy. I feel we have a momzilla in the making.
24. Not Dressed Up And Somewhere To Go
I wish I was writing a better story, I really do. I saw this cute short wedding dress go viral last year and was instantly obsessed. I previously had another dress but I saw this one and immediately knew it was the one. I was SO excited to wear it to my elopement. I placed my order for a custom dress, to my measurements, in February of 2022, and paid an expedited fee to guarantee delivery by May 5, 2022.
I’ve been very laid back about planning and felt I would have enough time to make any very small alterations, if any, before we left for our trip on May 15. I followed up five days before May 5th to confirm that I was still set to receive by May 5th. No response. When I didn't have a tracking number by May 4th I reached out—only for them to ask me for my shipping address, leading me to believe my order was never processed.
They do not have a phone number to call, so I was at the mercy of email and text where it would sometimes take eight hours for a reply—all when I was just wondering "am I even getting a dress”? They had every opportunity to tell me they didn't have a dress made for me when I was telling them I had a small window of time to get a Plan B dress.
So not only did my dress arrive six days late but they sent me an off-the-rack dress four sizes larger than me. My custom dress was clearly never made. They cannot provide an answer regarding what happened with the originally ordered dress. The people I did speak with were condescending, unapologetic, and extremely rude.
We had to fight tooth and nail to get them to cover the alterations that were being made to get a size 6 dress to a size 0. They would not refund the expedited fee even though my dress was late. They were only concerned with their losses. Upon hearing that our elopement was to be near their office they offered to drive me a dress in my size the day before my elopement.
I rightfully said I had no trust in the company to do that given the track record. I moved forward with alterations but said I would still take a size 0 dress as well. They declined once they learned I was altering the dress sent to me. Again, if it didn’t take six hours for a response and they weren’t calling me while the dress was literally being cut off of me we could have had a different conversation.
Lastly, we spoke with the owner on the phone and she initially refused to speak with my fiancé, told me that I was extremely negative to work with, and insinuated that I was, “one of those extra stressed out brides". Maybe it was because I didn't have a dress? And I'm waiting 4-8 hours for a response? Essentially, somehow this debacle seemed like it was our fault according to her.
I don't cry easily and this brought me to tears. You could not pay me to speak to a client or another person the way she spoke to us. I feel sick to my stomach knowing that I have to wear a dress from a company and a person that was this insulting.
25. Take The Bitter With The Sweet
My niece Jane got married yesterday. She is my only niece and daughter of my brother. The wedding was beautiful, but the drama made the night more unforgettable in not such a great way. Jane had her maid of honor and three other bridesmaids, one being her cousin, who is my daughter Alice. Jane asked Alice to be a bridesmaid when she first got engaged a year ago.
A few months later, Alice found out she was pregnant—unexpectedly, but still happy. This isn’t going where you think it’s going. Alice was concerned about Jane maybe not wanting her to be in the wedding since Alice would be seven months pregnant, but Jane was overjoyed for her cousin and told her to shut her mouth and be there with her on her special day.
Jane had chosen her best friend since high school as her maid of honor, but since Alice is a restaurant manager and also a teacher, she ended up organizing everything for the bridal party (not on her dime, thankfully) from the lodgings, day-of itineraries, and bridal party playlist. Alice didn’t mind not having the maid of honor title.
She just doesn’t like disorganization and wanted the day to go smoothly for her cousin and herself, because being seven months pregnant in TX heat at an outdoor wedding sucks. Our family loves parties. We get all dressed up and take pictures and dance all night! That’s just how we are. I have dozens of cousins (we’re the old people now) and we’re all very close.
We act like teenagers when we’re all together and now that our own kids are all adults, they too join in all the fun. The groom’s family although about one-eighth the size of ours, was amazing too! The mother of the groom and I made fast friends at the pre-wedding gatherings and they quickly joined in the fun with my family. However…there was an ugly side to it all.
Sitting at a corner table all dressed up with snarls on their faces was the mother of the bride’s sisters, aunts, and cousins who chose to spend the entire wedding just being bitter. It all started when the bridal party came back from taking photos during cocktail hour and saw that the mother of the bride’s family was sitting at the table reserved for the bridal party.
It was clearly marked and decorated differently from the other guests’ tables so there shouldn’t have been any confusion. Alice put on her restaurant manager hat and walked over to them to inform them that they were at the wrong table and needed to move to table 3, as was marked on their guest card because dinner was about to start and the bridal party would be served first.
At first, they acted confused and looked at each other like they didn’t understand what she’d said and started murmuring to each other in Spanish. Then Alice remembered that they were visiting from Mexico so she repeated the instructions in Spanish. One of the bride’s aunts reacted horribly. She tells her “Yeah, we speak English and heard you the first freaking time”.
So Alice, taken aback by their rudeness because she was not expecting that at all repeated to them that they needed to move now so that the caterers could reset the table and serve the bridal party as soon as the introductions were done. They complied but all the while complaining and moaning at the audacity. Then Alice went to go get the bridal party ready for the DJ to introduce them.
They do their walk-in and all the bridal party walk in with their hype and this table of nasty women booed my daughter when she was introduced. Thankfully it wasn’t too obvious over “Crazy in Love” and cheers from everyone else, but another table of my cousins heard and looked like they were ready to fight! My own mother, the sweetest and tiniest little woman you’ve ever seen, shot them daggers I’ve never before seen from her.
After the introductions and while the guests are in line for the buffet, the mother of the bride (who is my brother’s ex-wife) pulls my daughter aside and asks her why she was so rude to her family. Jane’s younger sister, Susan, another bridesmaid and from a different father, came to Alice’s defense and told their mom that it was their family that was being rude, not Alice.
I’ve always known my ex-sister-in-law was a horrible person. She has always been jealous of my niece—her own daughter—since my niece became a teenager. So much so that she sent my niece to live with my brother during middle and high school. Before that, she was always trying to compete her daughter (Jane) against my daughter (Alice) since Jane is just under a year older than Alice.
She always tried to make sure her daughter got more attention than mine from my parents or other people. But the only time I’d ever met her family was back when I was a preteen at my brother’s wedding. Now I know she comes by it honestly. I should have known it then because she only let me be a junior bridesmaid and didn’t want my older sister, who was the same age as she, to be in the wedding because she was too pretty and didn’t want her to outshine her.
Thankfully my niece seems to take after her dad’s side of the family. Everything just gets worse as the night goes on. The dance starts and of course here go my family along with the groom’s family on the dance floor as soon as the opening notes of Usher and Lil John blare through the speakers. My daughter and the other bridesmaids form a circle around the bride and they start doing dance-offs shouting and encouraging one another.
This seven months pregnant bridesmaid has the nerve and audacity to still be able to move like she’s in the club and everyone goes wild! I walk over to the sourpuss table, acting like I’m ignorant to all the pettiness and drama and invite my ex-sister-in-law/mother of the bride and her family to join in the dance. The mother of the bride doesn’t even make eye contact with me and says “It looks as if we’re not needed since Alice has everyone’s attention”.
I knew exactly what to say. I told her: “This is Jane and John’s day and they are having a wonderful time. Jane is proud of her wedding party and encouraging everyone to have the best time. If you want to spend your daughter’s wedding being petty, that’s literally YOUR problem. But if anyone so much as looks cross-eyed at my Alice again, I will be sure the DJ calls every one of you out and that would be the first warning”.
After all, I paid for the DJ. And then one of her sisters gets up and tells me that my whole family has ruined this wedding and we should be ashamed of ourselves. And then they all—except the mother of the bride—leave without even saying their farewells to the couple. My niece did not seem fazed one bit. Makes me sad to think she’s just used to this kind of behavior.
26. The Trade-Off
My aunt took centerpieces, arrangements, and several valuable keepsakes and family heirlooms from my brother’s wedding without asking. A few of them were from my sister-in-law’s family from overseas. At the time, a request to return the most valuable pieces resulted in months of drama and her spreading gossip just to only produce one of the items.
My sister-in-law gave up and has “kept the peace” since. Recently at my mom’s house, my aunt made a reference to still not having received an invite to my wedding. I said I was still waiting for her to return my sister’s stuff and I wouldn’t send her invite out until I had proof she was sorry and isn’t going to pilfer from me too. Obviously, she’s furious.
I’m getting pressure from my mom to “keep the peace” but my brother is amused and secretly, my sister-in-law is too. My brother says if they get one specific silver piece back I can relent but I’ve left it as a demand for it all. Is there a statute of limitations for a thieving family member?
27. Don’t Rain On My Parade
So I made my appointment at the bridal salon to try to find my wedding dress. No big deal. Due to Covid restrictions, they only let me have me plus four people at the appointment. No biggie. Totally understandable. I tell my mom and my really close cousin (who I have as a bridesmaid) and my mother-in-law that both I and my husband want him to be there to help me pick my dress for the small civil ceremony at our apartment.
We've been together for going on 14 years and we were living together for four so we really didn't care about the superstitions of not seeing the bride before the wedding. They're confused and say the man isn't supposed to be there and it's supposed to be just the girls. Okay. They're older and they did the traditional dress shopping for their weddings.
Whatever, they'll get over it. So the day comes and everybody meets at the dress shop and we realize he has an online meeting at some point during the appointment time. I say it's totally fine if he needs to step outside for his meeting. We get inside I introduce my group to the lady helping me find a dress. She gets a weird look on her face when I say he's my fiancé and he'll be helping.
Whatever, it's fine. I start trying on dresses and we all think some of the dresses weren't quite working. It gets to the time when he needs to step out for a few minutes for the meeting. He gives me a kiss and steps outside. That’s when they turned into utter monsters. When he steps out, as soon as he's out of earshot, the lady starts saying that the man isn't supposed to be there and asking why he's there.
The other women with me were saying the same thing and laughing and I was a little upset but didn't want a little negativity to ruin my fun. I tried on what I felt was the one but I wanted to try on the last dress she pulled for me just to be sure so we take some pictures of me in my favorite and I get out of it. I put on the last dress and come out and he comes back in finished with his meeting.
He says it looks nice but he'd like to see the other one too to compare to form a good opinion. The women’s reactions were seriously chilling. The store employee refused to put the dress on me again and the women with me refused to show him the pictures they took. I ask them to send me the pictures to send my dad on Facebook messenger so he can see the dress I picked.
Of course, I also sent the pictures to my fiancé when everybody left and he loved it. I feel like my dress shopping experience was ruined. I didn't get to feel the happiness and fun and excitement that comes with it because I was trying to keep things in line and try not to snap.
28. Plus None
One of my best friends of over a decade is getting married and asked me to be a co-maid of honor with our mutual third best friend and even though I did not want the role for various reasons, saying no and not putting 100% effort into the role was not an option in my mind—because best friends gotta do what best friends gotta do.
When I had my son (now 3), the bride told me he was going to be her ring bearer one day. When I had my daughter (now 2), the bride told me she would be her flower girl one day. Months ago, she told me her fiancé’s niece and nephew would fulfill the roles which was completely fine with me since I never put much thought into her declarations anyway as she’s lived out of state for many years now.
She spends way more time with those kids than mine. Nonetheless, she expresses love for my children all the time which is all that matters to me. I’ve been with my partner for almost seven years now and though we’re not legally married, we are very much committed with our own home and two beautiful children. Having our own wedding, our kids being flower girls and ring bearers, etc. etc., has never been on the top of my list of important things so I was fine with whatever she wanted.
Overall, I think I’m pretty down to earth and when it comes to her, I’m okay with what makes her happy. A few months ago, she told me that her wedding was going to be no children except the flower girl and ring bearer which also didn’t bother me. Though hesitant to leave my kids to fly to a different state for a weekend, I was actually excited to be able to enjoy a wedding with my partner without the added stress of our two young toddlers tagging along.
A few weeks ago, the bride and groom sent out virtual invitations and when I went to RSVP, I realized I couldn’t add my plus one. My co-maid of honor convinced me that it was a mistake so I texted the bride and she tells me that due to the pandemic, the venue capped her guest list and she was already over the 150-175 person limit, so no, I didn’t get a plus one.
“I thought he could stay home and watch the kids since there are no kids at the wedding,” was what she said. She DID ask me if I was okay with it because if not, she could work around it but since I’ve always been overly accommodating as a person and I didn’t want to incur more stress on her, my immediate reaction was to tell her it was fine even though I WAS bothered.
It bothered me that she didn’t talk to me about it before making the decision for me that my partner would “stay home and watch the kids” and it bothered me that she didn’t think he was important enough to include but I wasn’t sure if my feelings were justified since it IS her wedding and all. I also always assumed it was wedding etiquette that a maid of honor got to have a plus one.
Regardless, I eventually squashed the feelings down and tried to see the positive side of it (i.e. now I only have to buy one plane ticket). A few nights ago, my co-maid of honor messaged me asking if I wanted to get an Airbnb with her and her husband along with our friend and his boyfriend, and a few other friends for the weekend of the wedding.
After a few casual conversations, I made a heartbreaking realization. Everyone else got a plus one! The other co-maid of honor got a plus one! A non-bridal party guest got a plus one! I’m happy for them and can’t wait to see them as we’ve all been friends for years but…what? I was getting more and more bothered by the fact that the bride chose not to give me a plus one because she felt my partner was a waste of a spot that someone else she preferred to be there could fill.
But even if that was the case, aren’t I her maid of honor and best friend? So even if she didn’t want my partner to take up a spot on her 150-person guest list, shouldn’t she have considered my feelings before she gave everyone else a plus one except for me? Why was I initially overlooked? Again, I’m conflicted because of the whole “it’s the bride's day and the bride gets what she wants” phenomenon.
Am I crazy or selfish for being hung up on this? My partner is a very shy person and in previous occasions, he’s stayed back with our kids so that I can enjoy adult time with my friends but he’s been around for seven years. He’s clearly an important and permanent person in my life and he’s the father of my kids who the bride is always expressing her love for.
We’ve all gone to other weddings together in the past and shared a hotel with the current bride and groom before so it’s not like he’s a stranger to them. At this point, my partner is offended for me and himself and doesn’t even want to go to the wedding if anything changed nor would I want him to be if it’s going to make him feel uncomfortable and unwanted so I’m not sure it’s worth bringing up.
Yet every now and then, I start to feel super-duper salty and this is something I can’t just squash. I’ve been trying my best to fulfill my role as a good maid of honor up till now by helping her with various details of the wedding, planning her bachelorette weekend, and offering my help as much as possible despite my own stressful schedule and I will continue to do so but the negative feelings remain and everything had become so much less enjoyable than it already was.
29. Can’t Win Em All
My wedding had so many issues. In the morning it rained and we couldn't set everything up, and my mother's hairstylist called out, so not everything was even set up for the ceremony or reception. After the outdoor ceremony, my great-grandma almost fell and couldn't sit in the heat. My great-grandparents, who are in their 90s, left.
I was really upset, because I felt at fault and I treasure their time. It was a hard day after that, but we got through it. On the plus side, the ceremony was beautiful and the photographer was awesome. It can’t all go perfectly!
30. Picking Sides
We have been friends for five years, and in the whole time she's known me I've never taken my hijab off around men from outside my family. I have taken it off in front of her before, but only because I was only around women, and she knew this was the case. When we were trying on bridesmaid dresses, I offered to wear a different dress to the other bridesmaids or wear a covering over the dress so they didn't all have to conform to my needs regarding the modesty of the dress.
We settled on all wearing a dress that I could wear, as the bride wanted us to match. I was happy that they accommodated me, and none of them seemed to mind wearing a more modest dress than they might have worn otherwise. Yesterday I asked the bride if she wanted me to wear a scarf that matched the dress or of a different color. I was in for a rude awakening.
She was startled and told me she was expecting me not to wear a hijab, because when she said she wanted us all to match she thought I understood she meant not just the dresses, but that I would not be wearing a hijab. She also said that she thought I would be ok with it since I took my hijab off while trying on dresses, which I only did because I was only around women.
I was trying on some dresses that go over the head so I felt the hijab would have fallen off anyway. I said that if I could not wear a hijab as a bridesmaid, I would not be able to be a bridesmaid. My friend is now frustrated as some of the other bridesmaids have made alterations to the dresses and cannot return them, and she would have wanted them to wear a different dress if it were not for my modesty needs.
She's also annoyed that I have backed out as now there is an uneven number of bridesmaids and groomsmen. She says she tried her best to make a compromise with me, the modest dress but no hijab, and I should have explicitly said I would need to wear my hijab and not taken it off while trying on dresses. I think she should have explicitly asked if I would go without before committing to a compromise I didn't even know about.
I messaged the other bridesmaids explaining that I can't be a bridesmaid anymore as the bride doesn't want me wearing a hijab, and the responses are coming in very much anti-bride so far. I'm hoping the others disagreeing with her on this will snap her out of it. It seems like she's overall stressed and focusing in on this one thing too much and hopefully if she stops to think about it she'll register that it's not a big deal if I'm wearing a hijab.
31. Getting Pushed Out
My in-laws have always acted to my face as if they love me, but behind the scenes, they really don’t. In fact, they actively dislike me. It wasn’t hard to figure out, my MIL demoted me from “fiancée” to “girlfriend” many months ago, but never in front of my fiancé. They also stopped tagging me in family gathering/holiday pictures on social media, or just don’t post the ones that I’m in.
There are no pictures of me on the walls, but there are pictures up from holidays and gatherings I’ve attended. Just…the only ones that didn’t have me in them. They don’t respond to my texts or calls, and even sometimes go so far as to text/call my fiancé in response to MY message. They don’t include me in their group chats for any plans that involve the whole family.
Any time there is a family event they make sure to ask my fiancé, Jay, if he’s going to come but conveniently leave me out of the question. There’s more but that would take too long. It all really started because they have a lot of control issues, emotional control, and physical control as in they think they should be able to decide what Jay does or where he goes, down to how he spends his money.
Guilt-tripping any time there’s a hint that he won’t do what they want. That doesn’t fly with me. It’s something they’d done his whole life, so when I came into the picture I didn’t force him to change, but I tried to speak up for that little voice in his head that tells him it’s okay to choose himself since they’d all but drowned it out. I even stood up to his mother a few times when she snooped into his bank statements.
She tried to chastise him for spending his money places she didn’t think it needed to be spent, or when she tried to change plans he and I had already made because they didn’t work for her. I picked all my battles, I didn’t fly into action at every opportunity, but slowly they realized that I was giving him back a voice that he hadn’t used in many, many years and you can bet they didn’t like that.
All of that is important, and also the fact that I’m from Pennsylvania and he is from Michigan. I moved here to be with him years ago, but now our wedding is in a month and it’s back in my hometown because Jay thought it would be special to have it in my old home. Recently, I made a trip back to my hometown for a week by myself. While I was gone, his dad, his brother, and his sister set their unhinged plan into motion.
They all told him different variations of “We think she is hurting you and controlling you and forcing you to compromise who you are”, and their basis for this was that my last relationship was abusive, and they “know for a fact” that when someone is abused, they turn into the abuser in their next relationship. Jay shut them down immediately because never, NEVER, would I even think to treat someone that way, especially knowing what that’s like, and they have zero basis for their accusations.
And they made him swear that he wouldn’t tell me they said that, but of course, he immediately did. When he saw just how badly I reacted to that, he was even more furious with them. That was less than a month ago. When we were applying for the marriage license on Friday, we had to ask his parents a couple of questions about their background and the response we got was “when is this happening”.
After telling his mom the date, she stopped responding to us and almost immediately his dad texted him about coming over in an hour or two for a “father-son night”, which he declined because we both assumed it would revolve around his family trying to talk him out of it with me not around. The next day, we sent a group chat to his whole family telling them the when, the where, and inviting them.
I added in that because it’s my hometown, I could help them find accommodations near where we were staying. We never heard back from any of them. It’s been five days now and none of them have even acknowledged it, save Jay’s brother who he texted independently of the group chat, and who told us that he doubts he’ll make it.
When asked why he doubts it with a month to make arrangements, he never responded either. I’ve told Jay that at this point, I don’t believe they deserve to go and I won’t count it a great loss if they don’t, but that I also won’t be rude or even bring up this situation to them until after if they surprise us and say they’ll come and he decides that he still wants them there.
I’m just so angry and hurt, but not even for me. For him, because I know if the roles were reversed, I could never forgive my family.
32. Judge Not, Lest Ye Be Uninvited
So I grew up in a devoutly religious Catholic family, and I was myself devout up until five years ago. When I lived on my own I did some hard meditation on what I actually believe and decided that, if I was honest with myself, I couldn't agree with a lot of religious teachings. Anyhow, it's been rocky handling that and dealing with my family, particularly with regards to my partner, since we are living together outside of wedlock.
Over time we've managed to salvage our relationship despite our differing beliefs. In May my fiancé and I will be getting married in our backyard. My grandfather, a retired Protestant minister, will be marrying us in a non-religious ceremony. I don't have many female friends at all, so I had asked all my sisters to be bridesmaids.
However, today my father told me two of my sisters feel they can't participate, as according to Catholic teaching it is wrong for them to endorse a non-Catholic wedding. They will be guests, but they can't be a part of it. One of my sisters has treated me terribly since I left the faith, so I wasn't surprised about her (she was only included because I didn't want to hurt her feelings).
However, my other sister has up to this point treated me with only love and respect. From her, it hurts. The fact that they feel they can't publicly endorse my wedding by participating feels like a smack in the face, like they are saying they don't approve of our wedding. To make things worse, my fiancé is losing all patience (he's had to deal with a LOT from my family) and when I came home crying with the news, he blew up.
He says he doesn't want them even invited to the wedding. This is NOT what I want—I am hurt, but I feel like retaliation will just cause a ripple effect of hurt throughout my whole family. On top of all of this: I have no bridesmaids now. I am considering asking some old friends from college instead, but I didn't ask them before because they are both from other countries, so I felt it would be difficult to arrange.
33. Excuses, Excuses
So my now-husband and I each both have very close childhood friends, and we were planning on having them both be the best man and maid of honor respectively. My best friend is great, this story is about my husband’s so-called childhood friend. My husband is a very trusting and nice guy, and will kinda let people walk over him cause he doesn’t really mind.
I am very much less so and I was not a super big fan of his friend because of the way he treats my husband. He will usually only hang out with him if he needs a ride somewhere. He will call and ask him to hang out/ grab dinner out of town if he is out of town and needs a ride home. Also, he is a major flake and will make plans only to “not look at his phone” and miss them.
That’s my personal pet peeve, like it’s not difficult to send a “Hey, not gonna make it” text. My husband got him a job at his workplace and he proceeded to be late, got into a very minor accident, and proceeded to take two weeks off. Then he continued to tried to claim worker benefits, take days off with less than a day’s notice to go fishing with his brother, and pad hours etc.
Essentially putting my husband in bad light cause he put in a good word for the dude. Among some others. So we broke the news to him and told him we were getting married over dinner one night, and he was really excited and hyped up and said something along the lines of “Yo, I better be your best man” or something like that.
I was iffy about this because I know his tendency to flake out last minute but my husband asked me to give him this one last chance so I agreed. He then proceeded to move to an entirely different state (leaving the job my husband got for him after only working there for less than five months) but promised that he would be back for the wedding.
Fortunately, we were able to get the groomsmen fitted at a store that would be able to send the style to a store near him so he could get fitted too and not need to fly back for a fitting. A week after that and four weeks before our wedding my husband called me at work to say that his ‘friend’ had called him to say that he couldn’t come to the wedding because he couldn’t get time off work.
Mind you, he was working minimum wage at an electronics store in this new state, and he told them that he was going to a wedding soon when he was hired. Plus, four weeks is plenty of time to schedule a couple of days off especially since it’s a freaking wedding and you’re the best man. It sounded like a lame excuse and we figured he didn’t want to pay for the suit. I think it was around $300-$400?
My husband was planning on buying it for him, but didn’t tell him that. Needless to say, this was the last straw for my normally laid-back husband and he finally cut the guy out of our lives. His parents are super nice people though and we still keep in contact with them to this day.
34. Caught In The Middle
My fiancé has a very close-knit family—both immediate and extended family. However, he only wants his immediate family at our wedding. This is causing a lot of drama and hurt feelings from his side of the family, and it’s stressing me out. I met a good portion of his extended family at our engagement party last week. They were all so loving and accepting of me, for which, I am grateful.
This has left me a bit confused. Because he doesn’t want any of them at our wedding. Especially since, from what he has told me, his extended family has been present throughout his life. I asked him why he doesn’t want any of them there and he told me that (a) it’s his wedding and he can invite whoever he wants and, (b) he just doesn’t want them there.
The other day, my mother-in-law called me in distress saying that the family is hurt that they aren’t invited to the wedding. She told me that she thinks he’s making a huge mistake by not inviting them, and I 100% agree with her. To me, weddings are about family and I would feel awful knowing that my fiancé's family wouldn’t be coming to our wedding, especially with all the love, support, and kindness they have shown us as a couple, even before I met them.
I don’t have a big supportive family like his, so I gladly welcome all the love and support I (and our future kids) can get. But I feel like he’s isolating himself (and me) from his family and I don’t know or understand why. It just seems cold and it makes me uncomfortable and uneasy. I expressed this to my fiancé and he told me that he would be unhappy if any of them came to his wedding.
So regardless of what happens, someone is going to be unhappy at the wedding. Which makes me unhappy.
35. Doom & Gloom Groomsmen
We are getting married in June and both made group chats with our bridal parties. Everything with my bridesmaid group chat has been going great and it’s been really positive and just overall a good place to get a hold of everyone for wedding-related things. My fiancé's group chat on the other hand…it’s been somewhat of a struggle.
From day one there were issues in his group chat that he expressed to me. The first thing isn’t a huge deal because it’s expected but basically, they were being really vulgar about his bachelor “party” even though my fiancé has expressed he only wants to do a daytime golf outing and be in bed early for our wedding the next day. The messages were vulgar and clearly not being thoughtful of my fiancé’s wishes but whatever.
Anyway, the next drama with their group chat was with the wedding accommodations. We are getting married in the Los Angeles area and have had a really hard time finding complementary hotel blocks. Everywhere we call wants to charge us for all the hotel rooms and it’s something we really cannot afford to do. To help our guests on our website we listed six hotels in two different areas close to the venue as options for them.
So to clarify we chose three hotels in each area that we recommend they stay at on our website. We tried to be considerate and find hotels and multiple price points, so each area has a hotel at around $300 a night, $200 a night, and $100 a night. I spent a lot of time researching these hotels, reading reviews, and even drove around and visited them in person to pick the best options.
I also spent quite a bit of time writing up descriptions of each one on our website, like what they are by and close by restaurants that we enjoy. This wasn’t enough for the groomsmen. They proceeded to blow up my poor fiancé’s phone saying things like we should’ve just eloped if we couldn’t afford a hotel block, and things like “guess I’ll just camp outside”.
And the worst part was the Best Man was the one egging a lot of this on. Anyway, we get past that and try to move on. But here’s our latest drama. Our invitations are arriving to everyone currently so they all have access to our wedding website with the registry and everything. Well apparently now our registry is the next problem with the groomsmen.
They apparently don’t like that we have a new home fund set up and that we listed a Wii for the living room. Keep in mind we have probably close to 75 things listed and 95% are all the traditional kitchen stuff you see on registries like plates, glasses, etc. All the kitchen essentials are also marked as our “top priority” on the registry.
We only added a couple extra fun things that we would enjoy but obviously aren’t a necessity in life like the Wii, but it’s at the very bottom and not marked as a “top priority” most wanted thing. So the groomsmen apparently have a problem with the registry and start making jokes to each other saying things like “What do they want me to buy them a new house” (in regards to the new home fund).
And one of them even said, “I have the perfect gift for them, I’m going to get them food stamps for the wedding”! Honestly, I’m just appalled by the mocking the food stamps thing. My fiancé is super down and just feels depressed. He didn’t think his friends were like this and he doesn’t know what to do, he’s rethinking his relationships with pretty much all of them and regrets having bridal parties/group chats.
I think he needs to confront the food stamps jokester and set him straight but he just wants to ignore them and get the wedding over with.
36. Bachelorette Party Fireworks
I’m only in the bridal party because I'm dating the bride’s brother. Out of the bridal party, only me and the other sister know each other, the rest of us haven’t met or seen each other in years. My boyfriend hasn’t had many nice things to say about the bride’s best friend, he finds her weird and very loud. He met her when he was at college and visited his sister, the bride, a few times at a different college.
My friends from college had run into this best friend through a placement they had and then they went out to party. They all connected the dots that me and my boyfriend were people they both knew/were going to meet at the wedding. Apparently, this girl was so obnoxious that they said they could only last 10 minutes around her.
Then she said that she and my boyfriend use to be a thing but SHE decided to call it off because it was too weird to date your best friend’s brother. Which is why she was nervous about the wedding because I was in the bridal party and what would I think about their past together. But that’s not the whole story. None of that ever happened. They never had a thing.
When I told my boyfriend what she said (because obviously my friends told me) he was so absolutely confused and said he has never, ever, ever messaged her and the only communication they’ve had was when he visited his sister and said the occasional hello to her. So my fellow bridesmaid is making up this whole wild story about a previous romance that she had with my boyfriend, that never actually happened.
The bachelorette party is going to be fun...
37. Spite Wedding
So my partner and I are getting married on our ten-year anniversary. We are having a reasonably small wedding—85 people with close friends and family. Our friends have known our date for three years because it was so special and we had the venue booked and so on. We sent our save the dates out at the start of this year because here in Australia it is kind of a long weekend.
We wanted to get in before anyone booked holidays. A little while after sending them out, a handful of the groom’s friends (five of them) started mentioning that they could no longer come. This was really strange as they've always been excited beforehand. It turns out one of our close friends who was invited saw our save the date and decided that he and his girlfriend would be getting married in Vegas that weekend.
These two are close friends of my partner and have never wanted to get married before and were definitely not engaged at Christmas last year. They also sent our invitations not to us, but to the mutual friends for their wedding. Someone mentioned they didn't want to send an invite to us as to not upset us. Now my amazing fiancé is losing quite a few of his close friends because they are going to be flying to Vegas to see the others get married.
At first I was a little angry that they'd do this—especially since that day meant so much—but now I just feel like anyone who would do that isn't a big loss.
38. Teal With Envy
My cousin Kay got married about two months ago to the love of her life, Rick. Kay has been more like an aunt to me due to our large age gap, since I’m in my 20s. Kay and Rick are both awesome and were an amazing bride and groom on their wedding day. I’m here to talk about Rick’s cousin, Tiff. Tiff was like Rick’s sister growing up.
However, during family parties that Rick and Kay have hosted in the past, Tiff was overly clingy to Rick. I noticed this, but I just chalked it up to my being an overthinker. Comes wedding week, Kay and Rick get a call from Tiff the night before the wedding and she complains about not being a bridesmaid in Kay’s party.
Kay only chose me, her best friend she met at work years ago as her maid of honor, her childhood best friend, and another bridesmaid. Rick responded by saying that it’s up to the bride who’s in her party, but Tiff wouldn’t budge and eventually hung up on them. The day of the wedding comes and Tiff is frowning the whole night.
Luckily, she didn’t wear white to spite Kay, just a teal short dress that was a nice dress, but she wouldn’t smile for any pictures and didn’t talk to the bride nor the groom all night. She also left the reception quite early. Gotta love petty drama…
39. Better Late Than Never?
So my fiancé and I are getting married this Saturday. Great! We got engaged this time last year, we sent out the save the dates in December, invites in April, etc. etc. A friend of a friend, who's also in our D&D group, is also getting married on Saturday. Not a big deal, I don't own the day, I'm sure thousands of people are getting married on June 4th.
But he and his fiancé sent out their save the dates/invites...One month ago. In May. For an early June wedding. And he's having trouble getting RSVPs. The cherry on top of the cake was his asking our shared friend if he was "really" going to come to our wedding instead of his. Said friend is the fiancé of my maid of honor! They've had this date booked for our wedding for months and months now.
He's not a bad dude, but come on, my man, these kinds of things DO require a fair bit of planning.
40. It Never Ends
I married my wife two days ago. We had a micro-wedding due to Australian Covid and border restrictions, with my partner's entire family being in Belgium. We have not seen them for four years now as we were meant to go in 2020. We did three days in an Airbnb with our best friends and my family and it was great. Except...for one thing. My mother, J, has always been an incredibly difficult woman.
We have been completely non-contact several times in life and honestly, life is better when we aren't in touch. She's deeply self-centered, and deaf but won't get tested. So talking to her is just getting talked at about herself and she either can't or won't hear you. Hot topics include her work and talking smack about my dad who divorced her 15 years ago, even though she's been asked not to.
She's been awful to my wife since the day my wife told her to not talk to me disrespectfully in our house. In the lead-up to the wedding, she asked over and over again to have a plus one as my dad's girlfriend (of six years) was invited, then jokingly threatened to bring one of my aunts anyway. This continued up to the day of the wedding.
I knew it would be awkward but she had my cousin, brother, sister-in-law, and childhood best friend to talk to, plus our extroverted, inclusive friends. I explained that I didn't want to invite aunts when my partner's family can't come. When my brother pulled out of the wedding (he doesn't talk to her either), she gleefully said she was happy she could bring a plus one now.
Umm, no. We invited a friend instead. That’s when she really began to act up. She showed up a week early, uninvited, to “see my auntie". The thing is, she didn't actually check with my auntie, and when she was out of town, my mother insisted on coming to stay. Everything was a problem. She stood in my way trying to grab my bouquet to help as I made it despite repeatedly being asked to give me space.
She talked about not wanting me to go to Europe and made jokes about horrible attacks over there as I was getting my hair done and would not stop when requested. She was talking over the top of guests about her lawyer work including…graphic cases. She repeatedly insisted she will get me into my dress despite me saying no. I don't need help and she got angry I did it while she was in the toilet.
She kept asking an hour before the ceremony if she should go downstairs. When I said yes, she threw a tantrum in front of the makeup artist because I should have asked her to stay. She kept telling me repeatedly she was going to be the one to fetch my dad up even though they haven't been in the same room for 15 years. Eventually, I had to scream at her to go downstairs in front of my celebrant.
This was 10 minutes before our ceremony. Then, she was upset my wife walked down the aisle alone as she didn't want her dad to feel replaced—while she was front and center, filming, in our unplugged ceremony. One of our friends, 'M,' is older than us, as she is the mum of our best friend. We have lived with M on and off over the last six years as we all moved to this state at the same time.
Now, M is the opposite of my mum. She is so sweet, positive, supportive, and giving. We share birthdays and Christmases and call her 'mum'. She worked nonstop for five days, helping without being asked. In spite of her behavior, we also did a lot to include my mum, including getting nails done together, asking her to be ring bearer, dancing with her, and paying for her hair and makeup.
Regardless, my mum was obviously jealous of M and how close we are. Tantrums included that M stayed in the wedding house, explained it wasn't fair for me to pick between my mum and dad to stay, and M is our friend. My mum was super rude to her the whole weekend. Tonight, I called mum and to say I have her bracelets and that while we didn't wear them, she should keep one and I would keep the other as a special memory.
She bought us huge, chunky Swarovski crystal bracelets not even close to our style, and silver when our rings are rose gold. She was upset we didn't want them on during the wedding. She then said that she was pleased to see my friends treat me like family but that I needed to "be careful and watch my back around some of them" and remember who my real mother was.
This was the final straw. I told her to screw off. I told her she is deeply selfish as well as deaf and irritating and that I can't believe she would try to ruin another one of my life events. That maybe she should look at why people want to spend energy on someone loving, kind and generous. And why I feel the need to look for substitute family, because mine is so utterly broken.
She sent a message saying thinks “I’m obviously tired". I told her she is always the martyr, and I'm not speaking to her again. That said, M says she was happy to cop the brunt of it as it meant dad's lovely girlfriend was left relatively unscathed and we spent the evening drinking, making jokes about her being out to pinch our kidneys, opening our pressies, and looking through our photos.
41. Not-So-Brotherly Love
My brother is getting married in December. I am getting married in April before. This all began when my brother cried to our mother that my fiancé and I ruined their excitement by getting engaged a few days after them. But there’s something he’s not admitting. My brother planned a random date to get engaged knowing full well my fiancé was planning to propose on our anniversary three days later.
He had known that my now-fiancé had asked my father's permission for my hand the day before he proposed to his girlfriend. He tried to get me to tell my fiancé “no” so he could have a “week in the spotlight”. He told me it was terrible of me to put it on social media when I did. He then told me I should give the ring back, to which I retaliated in anger and told him he should be happy for us instead of being this way.
He settled down, he apologized and I thought things had cooled off. I was over the moon and acted as such that I would be getting married the same year as my brother and that I was engaged. I celebrated their engagement to the fullest. Nope. My brother a month later tried to get us to change our date because our parents can’t afford two weddings in one year.
This was followed by my brother crying to my mother after I told him it’s typically the family of the bride who pays for a wedding, about how insensitive I was. He’s been with this girl for two years and I don’t know her at all. She's made little to no attempt to get to know me, no matter what I tried. I didn’t know her family was in financial ruin, how was I supposed to know?
I ended up apologizing for being insensitive. I regret it now. We are pretty much paying for our wedding on our own because we are in the financial ability to do so. We have asked very little of my parents. He and his fiancée are not living on their own (they live with her mom) and aren’t stable so now it’s looking like they’re pushing the wedding date.
Meanwhile, the date we chose was extremely important to my fiancé, so we kept our date. A few months ago he asked for his engagement present early. A couple hundred dollars my fiancé and I promised him for their engagement photos to be done. He had asked for this gift almost directly after getting engaged. We were under the impression we would give this gift after we got married because that's what my brother and I had initially agreed on.
I told him that money was tight and we would still give the gift, but again, after the wedding. Around this time my cousin confronted me with their two wedding registries that say they are getting married in December. I started wondering if they were lying about their wedding date, which hurt me. It seemed I was the only one excited to be married in the same year. And it gets even weirder.
He started to be going through my social media with a fine tooth comb. He’s been asking questions about our personal life not as a “brother” but more like he is snooping for information about our finances. We are selling our house and buying a new one to prepare for a family, and he has been asking very inappropriate questions about it.
More recently he has been talking about not coming to the rehearsal dinner of my wedding, and he and his fiancée will just drop by my wedding then go home. He has made no attempt to be part of our day, contribute to it, or the like, but is more than happy to tell me what he wants. Back in September, my mother put together a family get-together for my birthday.
My brother immediately invited one of his friends, who my mom then claimed is a "family friend". I don't know this person very well at all, when I asked it just be the three couples, I was told I was being difficult, and the friend was invited anyway. I lost it at this dinner. At this point I had started working with a therapist because my brother was being so nasty and horrible, it was triggering severe depression and meltdowns.
I learned what it meant to be someone's "scapegoat". At this point, the two couples (my brother and his significant other, and my fiancé and I) went to the basement where I was pulled into a room with his fiancée. What she said was unhinged. She started trying to convince me what a horrible person my father and my fiancé are.
None of this is based in reality. My family is well aware she has serious mental health issues, especially with men. This really hurt. I thought we talked everything out. Nope again. I later found out from my fiancé that my brother spent the entire time "forcing tears" and talking about how horrible I was. My fiancé called him a terrible actor and pointed out they were trying to push us apart. My therapist pointed this out as well.
Two weeks ago he removed me from all social media, and in anger, I blocked him and his fiancée from all of my social media. His response to this was to tell my parents I blocked him. This led to my mother telling me I needed to make amends with my brother, and that I was acting immaturely. I broke down. I tried reaching out to them several times with no responses back.
Several attempts of reaching out to my brother and his fiancée after that night were made by me with no results, which actually led to a couple more breakdowns on my part. My fiancé wants nothing to do with them until they grow up. We then had a family dinner that I was excited for that allowed me to see some family members I haven’t seen in 10+ years.
I decided to take the high road since I had to go solo (my fiancé had to work), I simply ignored my brother and his fiancée. His fiancée had brought a friend with her and she and the girl spoke loudly about how amazing her bachelorette party and bridal shower were going to be. Again, not getting married until the next year “according to them”, though their wedding registry says otherwise.
I didn’t even look at them, I spoke quietly and I kept my attention on the family members I had been longing to see. I felt so sick near my brother and his fiancée, I didn’t eat. This will be something I have to get past in the future. I simply pretended they weren’t there. A couple nights ago I finally got the liberation from all the pain I have had from this situation.
On top of wedding planning and buying a new house, I have also been job searching. I love where I work but my commute has just been too much, so I have been looking for something closer to our new soon-to-be home. My brother joined my fiancé and parents at a family dinner. At one point in the evening my brother asked with the preface, "I know this is a very sore subject for you, but how is the job search going"?
I was polite, but told him I had gotten two callbacks and I even had another interview lined up. I was excited. People were actually competing for me. He looked furious at this response. That's when it hit me. He never had good intentions from the beginning all this mess started. He's been rooting for my failure since day one. I don't have to be friends with him for my parents' sake, and I refuse to be.
I am not sure why this interaction finally made me not care, but it did. And I really don't care. It's just nice to put this in writing. I don't really have support from my parents because they don't want to be in the middle of it. I finally feel free. My fiancé and I decided to keep him on the invite list for the wedding to avoid causing any more drama, but the soon-to-be sister-in-law won't be invited to my bridal shower.
They will have no involvement in the wedding, and they will be seated away from us, far, far away.
42. Neither Snow, Nor Rain, Nor Heat, Nor Freeway Fire…
I got married last month and let me tell you, I don't think it could have gotten any worse…or better. I got married in a little mountain town in Southern California at an Airbnb. It's a beautiful area year-round. The couple we rented from could not have been more wonderful. Not only did they give us a wonderful price, they did a lot to prepare their home for our wedding.
We were given four days at the venue. Two to set up, one for the wedding, one for clean-up. We did A LOT ourselves. We made the food ourselves, we made a lot of the decorations ourselves, set up was us, the only thing we didn't really do is the chairs and tables. We just didn't have a vehicle to bring the chairs and tables up and we were 40 minutes away.
I want to give quick props to everyone who did things for my wedding. My maid of honor and mother did the centerpieces which were so stunning. My bridesmaid, now-husband, and in-laws helped me make the flowers and bouquets, who also set up and move things along. We did paper flowers to cut on costs, no worries about anything not being fresh, and just not having to deal with a third party.
The decor my entire wedding party helped with and it was just amazing. Another bridesmaid/bestie did my hair and makeup, also stunning. My sister-in-law also did the photography, which she's still working on and it was fantastic. Her girlfriend did the music, also wonderful. You must be wondering, if so much went right, how could it have gone wrong?
Before the wedding was even happening, my brother tells me that my niece is too rowdy to be in the wedding. She's a toddler, so I understood. I actually wasn't upset until he told me he was unsure if he could make it. My bridesmaid/bestie said her daughter would be one and my groom's cousins would be the others. Each bridesmaid would walk down with a flower girl. Said bestie also sprained her ankle.
First night we get there, I arrive to a sign on the door saying "Here comes the bride," the table where we'll have the cake has Mr & Mrs on the table with hearts all over it, a Mr & Mrs banner over the fire place, and goodies for my bachelorette party. I almost cried. It was so beautiful. However, there are high winds and warnings for power outages.
As we're all going to sleep on the first night, power gets shut off because of the high winds. Two days before the wedding, so I'm not too worried at this point. There isn't a whole lot that we actually need for power except the fridge and it's so cold that the fridge actually kept everything cold the entire time. We also came prepared with coolers and brought lanterns and flashlights just in case.
Really, nothing is really THAT bad at this point. But then day two began. Most of the guests are coming on this day to make it a vacation. Most of my family is not from SoCal, so they had to come a long way. We're putting up any decorations that won't be affected by moisture. Everything is going fine. Just fine. Juuuuuuust…no, nevermind. It's not, since the tables and chairs can't arrive today because the freeway is closed because of the fires.
Yes, fires. Fires that were engulfing the nearby town where most of my guests and my maid of honor (my sister) and her kids and her husband were staying and the freeway to get to the venue was closed. We're still a day away, though. It's fine. My guests are not in any danger and are not needed to be evacuated. Moving along to the next item of things going our way, the owner texted my mother-in-law to let her know there was a generator in the barn.
Perfect! We'll at least have lights. No problem…aaaand it doesn't work. Okay, well, we're just back to the previous square, it's fine. Food is still good, we found some chairs that should fit all of the guests, at least they would have a place to sit. My SIL-to-be (photographer/cake picker-upper) who had not gotten a period in years, started the day before the wedding and it was rough.
I'm more worried about her just being there than anything else. We can take phone photos, but it was important my groom's sister be present. She and her girlfriend were late, but present. Okay, cake's here, photographer's here, DJ’s here. Okay. Set up moves along, but half of the wedding party couldn't make it up because their hotels had no power and the freeway was too dangerous to come up.
They had kids and elderly family, so we said just come day of. We ended up not having a rehearsal. We did have a rehearsal dinner, which was awesome. The ladies (me, bridal party, SIL, SIL's girlfriend) go back to the house after dinner for the bachelorette party. It was so much fun. As we're starting, we get the scare of a lifetime. Someone was outside. Cue screams.
It was the owners bringing another generator, that worked! She wasn't going to interrupt us, which I didn't mind since I wanted to give her a bottle of bubbles for doing something so nice for us. She and her husband congratulate me, tell us to have a good time, and call if we need anything else. We decided to just continue without power, just so we don't use a single drop of gas.
The party goes amazing. All of us bonded unexpectedly and had so much fun. It was SO cold that night and we couldn't use the heater, but we survived. Day three, day of the wedding. Winds have gone down pretty much completely, temperature is pretty good, everyone is starting the day and getting ready. The tables/chairs also got delivered late, but the day before, so that turned out okay as well.
I go to the bathroom and notice some toilet paper in the main bathroom so I flushed it down. Big mistake. The toilet flooded through the floor, through the ceiling, on the stairs. Oh no, oh god no. NO NO NO. This lady has been so great to us and I ruined her house. IT WAS FINE THOUGH. We fixed it! WE FIXED IT. Plus, there was already some water damage, so, we didn't really cause the problem, but we didn't help it.
We let the owner know RIGHT AWAY. She said it was fine and not to worry (since we had already dealt with it). This woman was beyond wonderful. While I'm starting to get ready, I get a call from one of the guests. "Is everything okay”!? "Yes”? "We heard about the fires and the freeways are closed and there's no power, is the wedding even still happening”?!
"Yes. Everything is fine”.
"...You sound incredibly calm”. "I have a lot of people taking care of everything. I'm not worried”. "...Okay! Sound great, see you there”! I admit, I was absolutely stressed that so much was going wrong, though no one could actually tell, there were a few people who wouldn't be coming which made me really sad, but I had so many people taking care of everything to make the day wonderful that I felt confident it would be okay in the end.
By the way, my mother-in-law also sprained her ankle and they had to go up and down stairs. 11 o'clock the power comes back on! Yes! We did end up using the gen a little bit, so their trip wasn't for nothing. We had decided to do our photos beforehand which ended being 45 minutes late even though we had gotten back on track. Unfortunately, we had some...hiccups.
Power is back on, winds have quieted down, fires are contained, freeways are open. A lot of the issues had been dealt with. The photos are done, the guests have arrived, the ceremony is beginning. Leading up to the wedding, my groom's grandmother had passed on earlier in the year, then my grandmother passed a month before.
My grandfather couldn't walk very well and we went for a rustic venue making it difficult for any kind of scooter or walker, which meant my aunt couldn't come either because she was caring for him. My dad has cancer in his back/spine, and we were unsure if he'd be able to walk me down the aisle. Well, my aunt ended up bringing my grandfather down anyways, he simply couldn't miss me getting married.
My dad had to stand halfway down the aisle, but he was able to give me away. He actually teared up when he saw me, putting sunglasses on to cover his eyes. I'm not sure what happened in the procession, but the ring bearers (I had both my nephews) gave the rings to the wrong people, which ended up being a hilarious moment when it came time to do the rings.
My older nephew was given the wrong info and ended up standing (like a little angel) next to the groomsmen. My sister is having this silent conversation telling him to sit down, which I can't wait to see in the video. Ceremony ends, family portraits commence, we go off while everyone sets up, smooch smooch, we get announced, party begins.
The food came out amazing. We do toasts, which are all beautiful. As I had mentioned before, my dad has severe cancer, so the walk was a big deal. The dance was a big deal as well, but I would have been happy with anything. I picked “Crazy Little Thing Called Love” by Queen, because we listened to Queen all of the time when I was young and he would karaoke the song all the time.
Also, it's short, so we can dance a little without him getting too tired. My dad goes all out. We're dancing like crazy and singing along. This was probably the happiest I had ever seen my husband in the seven years we've known each other. He played with all of the kids (his cousins and my nephews), making a fort and "trapping" guests around the venue.
We had cake and hot cocoa for the end of the night and even had movies ready for the kids who ended up not even needing it because they were so engaged the whole night. Another side note: this was a small wedding, about 40ish people. I had invited one of my cousins and at the request of my dad, I invited his sister, my cousin's mother.
They had not spoken in years and were not on good terms. I agreed on the condition that she not cause drama. When my cousin showed up and they saw each other they started crying. They were inseparable the whole night. This was an added bonus that this brought them together again. This was the best experience I had ever had.
My wedding was perfect and all my family and friends had a wonderful time. If I had been younger I think I would have freaked out more and been much worse, but having the family I have and the family that my husband has I had absolute confidence that it was going to work out the way it should. Also, I got to marry a wonderful man.
Even if everything had ended up not mostly the way I wanted, I still have the man of my dreams.
43. There Can Only Be One
I'll start this off by saying my wedding is scheduled for April because my fiancée has always dreamed of a spring wedding. And I really like the idea too. I have an older brother though. And last Saturday I was called over to my parents' house to talk about something. I immediately knew something was off. They refused to tell me what until I got there.
They then sat me down with my brother and told me that my brother wants to use my wedding as the perfect day for him to propose to his girlfriend. I was instantly mad and told them ABSOLUTELY NOT!! But they ganged up on me. I ended up so enraged to the point that I, one man, somehow backed all three of them into a corner. But then I shot back.
I told them that if they want to do this, then not only will they all be uninvited, but I'll also cut off the financial support I've been giving monthly since they paid to have my golden child brother go through college by taking out a second mortgage. I landed a decently high-paying job and have been sending five hundred dollars to my parents monthly to help ease their mortgage.
I didn't ask for a stake in the ownership of their house either because I really don't want it. It was entirely goodwill. And I can cut it off any time. I left without speaking anything more to them. But my brother came to my home the next day to yell at me that I ruined his big chance because now our parents are siding with me and say they'll evict him if he tries to propose at my wedding.
He said I was financially blackmailing our parents, and that he just wanted a good chance to propose because he was afraid his girlfriend might leave him soon. I said that was his problem, not mine. Because my wedding day is not about him. And if he tries to propose at my wedding, I will have him thrown out. That's not a maybe, but a definite.
And I doubt his girlfriend would appreciate her proposal followed up with being tossed out by a bouncer. He yelled a few choice words at me, then went crying to our only surviving grandparent. Our maternal grandmother. And she called to try and ream me over the phone. No surprise my brother heavily embellished the version of the story he told her.
But there was one thing he didn’t expect. She still sided with him after I gave her the real story. My brother showed up at my home again to scream at me that I'm awful, and I hope I'm happy with myself for not allowing him the opportunity. My fiancée knows what my brother tried to do. And she's very angry about it. She's almost ready to have him uninvited if he pursues this any further.
Normally I have a very mild temper. But when it comes to certain people like my brother, parents, and grandmother, I can easily get short with them because of all the past favoritism. My grandmother especially. She always sided with my brother and believed his lies no matter what he did. She's the biggest reason my parents favored my brother too.
She kept trying to convince me over the phone to let my brother propose at my wedding that I ended up losing it on her. I ended up speaking with my brother again and threatened to tell his girlfriend if he was still intending to propose at my wedding without permission. He took it poorly and called me an awful person. So I pointed out that my wedding isn't about him.
Our parents were there for this, and they backed me up. I think my brother did a double take when they did that. My dad pointed out that he'd raised my brother wrong, and that was on him. So from now on my brother was to show them real respect. And they wanted to get an official lease drawn up for him to pay proper rent and utilities.
He was only paying them $300 a month without contributing to any utilities or food. And if he doesn't want to pay, he can move out and they'll rent his room to someone else. My brother turned to our mom for help. But she just agreed with dad. He looked like he was having a conniption and then left the house. He came back a couple hours later, but spoke to no one and locked himself in his room.
Two days later my brother announced he was moving in with grandma because she invited him. And our parents basically told him that if he wants to live with her, then to go ahead. My brother responded to this by saying we all hate him for just wanting to propose to his girlfriend. My parents pointed out that it's not that he wanted to propose, but where he wanted to do it. And he'd get no support for it.
He's refusing to talk to our parents now. My grandmother did try to call me again. But it ended up with me telling her that my brother will not be allowed to propose at my wedding, plain and simple. So he can get over it, or not come. And the same goes for her. I ended up calling her out on her favoritism towards my brother since we were kids. Which she tried to deny at first, but couldn't keep doing so because of how much I'd pointed out.
She ended up crying while I told her that if she keeps trying to insist on this, then she won't be coming to my wedding. She begged me not to rescind her invite. But still said she doesn't understand why I couldn't let my brother have his way before ending the call. My fiancée is 100% on my side. And is fully ready to remove my brother and grandmother from the wedding.
My grandmother hasn't called again. And she's not talking to my parents either. My guess is my brother went crying to her again to tell her mommy and daddy weren't enabling him anymore. So she offered for him to move in with her. But there's literally nothing she can do to sway me. And I think my last conversation with her made her realize that.
I didn't want to tell my brother's girlfriend—but then she found a post I made on Reddit. She realized it might be me with the way I described my brother and grandmother. So yeah, now she knows. She ended up tearing my brother a new one. And he still tried to justify himself to her. That's when she told him they were through and cut all contact with him.
My brother, of course, blamed me. Even though his girlfriend said that she's been ready to leave him for a while now, and if he'd tried to propose, no matter where, she'd have told him "No". So that's it. My brother showed up at my place one more time to have a fit, and said he is boycotting my wedding. He actually thought he had leverage that he and grandma won't go.
I said I wouldn't miss him, and that he's in his 30s now and needs to grow up. Our parents have cut the umbilical and are no longer supporting him. And they're already repainting his room to rent it to someone else. And they plan on renting out my old bedroom as well because they need the money after the financial hole he left them in.
After dropping out of college, he just mooched off them for a while and then get a degree with online college later, and then barely paid any rent while also making them pay for his food and utilities despite having a good-paying job. They spent the world on him and he wasn't the least bit grateful. That made my brother just shut down and leave.
And since then we've not heard a peep out of him.
44. Surprises Are Usually For Guests, Not Staff
I have now seen it all. I work at a winery & vineyard that functions as a fancy bar and events venue, it is a beautiful view with tons of outdoor seating. It’s Memorial Day weekend, super busy, and yesterday right around our peak time one of the bussers says “Someone is having a whole wedding in front of the vines”. These people had an officiant, drone, bride and groom, and 10 people watching.
It took three managers to shut it down and kick them out. They were completely offended that we would stop a wedding ceremony, “had no idea we couldn’t do this”, “we are paying customers”, and were shocked we told them to leave ASAP. I mean, the audacity of these people to take up two picnic tables for three hours, and then expect their wedding (with a drone doing videography!) to be acceptable because they spent $150 on drinks for 14 people over the course of three hours.
When our third manager (a burly ex-Marine) came out because they had not left after 10 minutes, they proceeded to call him names and he had to start calling the authorities for them to finally leave. We get a lot of people who act weirdly entitled about our space, but I don’t think anything will top that.
45. Sister No Mercy
A while ago, a lifelong friend of mine got married. Her younger sister and another old friend were bridesmaids. It was a DIY wedding, so the bride did all the catering, while family and friends handled the venue setup and rollout on the day. The bride was one of those people who will come help you dispose of a body at 4 am on Christmas.
As a result, we were all happy to help and happy to be there—except for her family. They, for reasons unknown, absolutely detest her. This was fine except that, as above, her sister was a bridesmaid. Her brother was MC. Things had simmered down a bit by the week of the wedding and the day started out looking like everyone would behave themselves. Spoiler: nope.
On the day of the wedding, her sister set up a potentially risky situation by letting an extension cord droop into a body of water. It was supposed to be affixed to the railing of a small footbridge, but was not. Said sister had worked in theatre and was actually pretty good at wiring things up, so this was not an accident. She also kept putting the defrosting food (starters and mains) back in the freezer whenever the two old family friends handling the food turned their backs.
She was "concerned" that her sister hadn't provided a vegetarian option. Mysteriously, the vegetarian lasagna for the small number of vegetarians attending was the one thing never returned to the freezer. This carried on until the food was literally being served, when one of the kitchen peeps stopped a tray going in the wrong direction and suggested the sister would be better employed elsewhere.
Said sister also coordinated with her brother and mother to ignore the bride completely and not speak directly to her. On her wedding day. Which they did, except for that...she also consistently needled at and put down her sister, the bride. The other bridesmaid got so angry that her boyfriend had to carry her out of the room and take her outside to calm down.
It continued until the other bridesmaid got the best man to bring in a Xanax because otherwise the bride was going to hysterically bolt off into the hills. The sister also persuaded her mother that she should wash off her professionally-applied makeup and let her re-do it, then didn't re-do it. Her mother then refused to pay the makeup artist because she " hadn't done the work".
She looks like a ghost in crushed velvet in the photos. The sister then insisted her "wedding gift" was a dance performance, which she did as the couple arrived at the reception, and then complained nobody was paying attention. It's okay, though. You don't mess with little old ladies where I come from. One of the women in the kitchen accidentally dropped half of the lasagna onto the floor, cheese-side-down.
The other vegetarian guests had already eaten. The lasagna was picked up, possibly not wiped off, and served to the sister with a smile.
46. Maid Of Dishonor
So in August of 2019, one of my classmates and friends, let’s call her Jenny, was getting married to Jack after we had graduated. Jenny had one of my best friends, let’s call her Ella, as her maid of honor. Now let’s skip to December when another friend of mine, Charles, proposed to Ella with their wedding planned October 2020. Obviously, something big happened in March, and Charles and Ella decided to go to the courthouse and get legally married, but still planned to have a ceremony in October.
Ella wanted Jenny to be her Matron of Honor and Charles wanted his best friend, Daryl, to be his best man. Jenny however made a fuss—for the most ridiculous reason. She wanted to be paired with Jack and made Charles and Ella change their wedding around to accommodate her demands. The plan was that there was going to be a Maid of Honor and a Matron of Honor. And everything was good, right?
Absolutely not! Jenny and Jack had decided that Covid prices for traveling were great and told Ella and Charles that they were going to be out of town that week. Now that really teed off the engaged couple after everything they had done for them and even the bridesmaid dresses had been ordered. Wedding plans were once again changed and Ella had her cousin be the Maid of Honor.
Now I wished that’s how the story ended, but of course not. To make matters worse, Jenny and Jack never even went on their trip—and they kept it all a secret. It’s almost been a year now and needless to say, we haven’t really kept up with them, and when we’ve run into them, it’s SUPER passive-aggressive.
47. There’s Making A Scene And Then…There’s This
I have always been close to my cousin, A. Out of all of our cousins, we’re the only ones without siblings so A has always been an older brother to me. We have a lot in common and get along really well. I’m really thankful for him. The last couple of years, however, we’ve drifted apart. I still see him during the holidays and normally we spend that time catching up.
A and his wife S have been together for five years and married last October. That’s when the wedding drama in question went down. S has never really liked me. She constantly micromanages everything I do whenever we have family gatherings such as me not washing the dishes correctly, or nitpicks about my boyfriend’s age.
She also likes to make snide passive-aggressive remarks at me and the other women in our family. I usually just ignore it since it’s just worth it to engage with her. So anyway, back in October A and S got married. My boyfriend and I went. The ceremony itself was beautiful—it was a big Italian-style wedding. Everything went smoothly—at first.
A was beaming the entire time and S seemed to be in a pretty good mood. However, later I guess something went wrong. It was held at a fancy hotel that had a few different venues, so there was another wedding going on that night. The cake was sent to the wrong wedding. While everything was sorted out pretty, quickly this caused S to flip out and she proceeded to pound drinks.
After dinner, A proceeded to make his rounds to say hello to everyone. By the time he stopped at our table he had been going around for close to an hour, so he ended up sitting down at our table and talking for a while with my boyfriend and I since we were some of the last people he hadn’t had a chance to talk to. It was the first time in nearly a year that I had seen him, so we ended up talking for a long time.
At one point, my boyfriend got up to get drinks when S came over. She was…not normal when she came over to us. She told A he had to come back to the head table. A agreed and as he went in to give me a hug. That’s when she screamed something I’ll never, ever forget. She shrieked at me “STOP TRYING TO SLEEP WITH MY HUSBAND YOU HARLOT”!
Everyone in our area heard and turned to look. I was mortified. S then dragged A back to the table and my boyfriend and I immediately left. At the time I thought leaving was justified. I got a voicemail from S giving a lazy apology where she said that she shouldn’t have called me names, but she was stressed and it was her wedding day, so whatever.
However, yesterday I visited that side of my family for the holidays and A wouldn’t even talk to me and everyone proceeded to tell me and my boyfriend that we were extremely rude for leaving early. At first, I figured they hadn’t heard what S had said but some of them even defended her actions and said I should’ve just stuck it out.
They’re all saying I ruined A and S’s wedding day by creating a scene by leaving.
48. Bridesmaidzilla
I got engaged in 2020, after the lockdowns but long before my friends and I were comfortable seeing each other in person. A couple of months after my fiancé and I got engaged, I sent out packages to all of the ladies I had chosen as bridesmaids. One of them is the crazy bridesmaid (I'll call her Ellen for the sake of anonymity) whom this story is about.
We have been friends since high school, are still in the same core friend group, and while not as close as we once were, I still wanted her to be a big part of our special day. We recently went on my bachelorette party, which was a weekend-long trip to a very affluent town a couple hours away on the coast. We were a large group of girls and it took my MOH a lot of time and effort to coordinate an itinerary and place to stay that would accommodate everyone.
Onto the story: From the very second we got to the house rental, Ellen was obnoxious. Everything was about Ellen. Someone had a funny story to share? Ellen had a funnier one. Someone complimented another person's outfit? Ellen had to step into the middle of the room to talk about how awesome her outfit was. At one point, someone asked me where we were honeymooning, and guess what?
Ellen and her husband had just booked a vacation to the same resort! It went on and on...and on. Now I am not the type of bride that needs constant attention. Seriously. I had to take a day off after the bachelorette because 72 straight hours of socializing had me completely exhausted. Anyway, onto the worst of what Ellen did. On our final night, we had a reservation at the nicest restaurant in town.
I'm talking renowned chef, $80+ entrees, dress code, etc. Everyone got dressed up and excited. We arrived to the restaurant about five minutes early. Our table wasn't ready yet—no problem. I understand that there are currently staffing shortages in the service industry and that patience is a virtue. Ellen does not understand this because she immediately started scolding the hostess for not having our table ready.
She then scolded her for seating us outside—at an outdoor restaurant—and next to a live band, even though everyone wanted to go for the music in addition to the food. It got increasingly worse from there. Ellen spoke about money constantly, as in how much she makes, how much she will make, and how her lifestyle will be going forward.
Something important to note is that everyone on the trip is not rich. We are middle and upper middle class—some are educators, some are mothers, some are in sales. We all work full-time jobs, have student loans, and while we are more privileged than some, we don't talk about money. We had all saved up for the bachelorette weekend and it wasn't something any of us could afford to do normally—it was a special treat.
My opinion is that when you talk about how "well-off" you are, you do a great job at making others feel like trash. Not to mention that literally no one cares about your financial situation. Ellen ordered around the waitstaff in a demeaning manner, screamed at a busboy to make him take away patio heaters from other patrons and bring them to our table.
She screamed at a manager to bring us complimentary prosecco (because she was cold...), took her cellphone flashlight out to show the manager that her steak was cooked medium and not medium rare, and made it a point to yell at/berate every employee she saw. It was mortifying. The final straw? Well, that was when it was announced that my father had graciously called the restaurant to pay for our $1,500 bill as a gift to all of us on our last night of the trip.
Ellen's immediate response was not to thank my father for the meal—he was on the phone with my MOH. Oh no, Ellen's first response was, "Well, if I knew someone else was paying for my meal I wouldn't have asked for my steak to be comped”. I excused myself and went to the bathroom, holding back tears of frustration and disgust.
The next day we were getting ready to leave and Ellen was clueless as to why nobody wanted to engage with her. Ellen is unaware of her behavior, never thanked my dad, and is mad at me (the bride) for wanting to go to a nearby pub for a nightcap after dinner. I needed one, trust me. After I headed home, Ellen and two other girls got into a rollercoaster of a conversation that didn't end well for Ellen.
I am still so disgusted by the way she treated the employees at the restaurant. I am so appalled by the way she so grossly discussed money in front of girls who are underpaid public school teachers. My wedding is coming up in under two weeks and I want the day to be drama-free. I am planning to compartmentalize my anger and frustration towards Ellen and not acknowledge it until after the wedding is over.
At this point I don't even know if I want to continue the friendship. I feel so sad and hurt over all of this.
49. Better Off Without Him
So I'm getting married in July and it’s about a month out until my wedding, and yesterday my dad dropped a massive bombshell. He decided to block me on every platform known to the internet and his phone, and told me he isn't coming to my wedding. My dad and I have had a very rocky relationship my entire life. He has really radical beliefs about everything and it's caused all his relationships with my mom and siblings to be awful.
Long story short: he’s a white supremacist. He's also a misogynist, he has openly expressed (and tried to raise me to believe) that women are born to be homemakers, barefoot and pregnant, and only by a white man (these are literally his words, not mine). As you can imagine, with three women in his house that are ambitious and successful, he felt really threatened.
He tried several times to get me kicked out of school for truancy because he wouldn't take me, and then grounded me every time I got myself to school via bus. He told my mom if she kept trying to get her GED he would hurt himself, I could list a million other messed-up things he did. The point is, he's been awful to us, and really his whole side of the family is just like this.
At 14 I had my first boyfriend, who is now my fiancé. My dad was so elated when this happened, he told me he was proud that I chose "a good hardworking white boy”. Mind you my fiancé at the time was 16 and a high school dropout—not to down on HS dropouts, but it was a hard time in his life and I was literally securing scholarships at this time.
Anyway, my dad arranged for my boyfriend to come live with us, I'm not kidding. He literally talked to my boyfriend’s parents and convinced them to let him live with us. My dad's motive for this was obvious to me, he wanted me to get pregnant so I would be stuck with my boyfriend, he made that clear when he suggested constantly that "it wouldn't be so bad to have a little baby around here, ya know"?
He said this knowing that my mom was sterile. He didn't expect for my boyfriend to be so liberal in his ideology, boyfriend snuck me out to get birth control, condoms, and we waited until I was of age anyway. Which meant that we lived together for two years before doing the deed and it made my dad extremely frustrated with me.
He got worse over that time period, becoming physical with me and even kicking me out a few times. My boyfriend saw all this, and he really hated it, it's partly why we stuck together for so long and are now getting married. He saw all this and wanted to help me into a better life, so we did. By the end of high school, I had a full-ride scholarship to my dream school, and my boyfriend was helping me move out and get a place with just us.
By my 18th birthday, we were in our own place for two months already. Physically distancing myself and financially severing myself from my dad was hands down the best thing that has ever happened to me. My relationship began to really blossom now that we finally got to date and not survive, I was going to school and I was working.
My life since moving out has been wonderful, I've recently graduated college with my dual degree, and I'm going to grad school starting this fall. Anyway, boyfriend and I felt like it was a great time to get married. We were really fortunate during the pandemic to not be laid off, we both saved a ton of money and because of my job in grad school, we didn’t have to pay rent, so we said screw it let's get married.
We both know it's what we want and we've been in love for years, neither of us going anywhere without each other. But because of my dad, planning has been a nightmare. We are paying for 100% of the wedding ourselves, in order to try to create less drama. You're not paying, you don't get a say, yada yada yada. We both wanted to elope because of Covid and family drama, but my stupid self wore the ring around my mom and she figured it out.
As soon as my family knew about the wedding, they began making the entire thing about them, as I thought they would. My mom wanted to do everything and when I told her we were going to elope she asked where because she wanted to come. I had to explain to her that the whole point in eloping is to have as few people there as possible, so she and dad and most of the family couldn't come.
Their reaction was so melodramatic. It was the end of their world. She blew up and cried and told other family members that I was cutting them off, she told them I wanted nothing to do with them and I was being selfish, etc. I was getting my phone blew up with hate and so many questions from my family it was unreal, my fiancé's family took it way better.
So my fiancé and I decided that in order to try to preserve the peace, we wouldn't elope but have a small wedding at a huge park so we could be Covid safe. Well, of course, that wasn't the only issue my family had. After we changed it from eloping, my parents seemed sated and my dad especially said they would "bend over backward to make this work". Spoiler alert, they didn't.
We told them about the venue we were thinking about and they had no problems with it until after we put a deposit down on it, and then suddenly it was too far away. The venue is two hours away from them, and they knew that before we paid anything on it. I explained to them that it was very affordable and safer to do it at the venue we chose, so I really didn't want to move it.
My dad proceeded to call me a "selfish b-word" for not accommodating to my family, WHEN WE DIDN'T EVEN WANT TO DO THIS KIND OF WEDDING. I brushed that off, he's said worse in my life so it was whatever. I put my foot down and said we're keeping the venue, you are both working adults with two cars, you can figure out how to get there.
The next set of issues have to deal with my fiancé and I being really untraditional because of our backgrounds and we knew we would have to fight with everyone to do what we wanted to at our wedding, but we figured, we already didn't want this kind of wedding so let's at least do it how we want. One of the biggest dilemmas thus far has been that I don't want my dad to walk me down the aisle, or rather, I don't want anyone to walk me down the aisle.
But we have fought so much over it, and I'm sick of being called names and berated constantly, so I gave in but my stipulation for him was that if he wanted to walk me down the aisle, he had to do something I wanted to do too. So the deal was that he gets to walk me down the aisle, I get to have a dance with him. He agreed and seemed happy to do this.
During the time of us talking about this, he also mentioned that he really wanted to speak at the wedding, which I said was okay as long as I get to hear his main points before the wedding. At the time, he agreed. Now, this week marks officially one month out to my wedding, and my dad has begun to completely ghost me. I have been asking him for weeks about the speech, and there's a few reasons for that.
First, my dad is illiterate, he cannot read or write but he's very good at memorizing. So I was offering to help him, I would take what he was saying and put it on paper so that I knew what he wanted to say, and he didn't have to read it. Second, my dad's history with his beliefs and whatnot are not something I wanted to interfere with the wedding.
I didn't want him to say something egregiously offensive and make my entire wedding party feel uncomfortable because the majority of my wedding party are people/women of color, and we know his track record there. Third, my dad has needed support in his life at the moment because my mom hit him with divorce papers three weeks ago.
It was a matter of when, not if they were getting a divorce, I mean he has treated her like a child the entire 20 years they've been together, isolating her from family, dictating what she can and can't wear, not letting her cut her hair, not wanting her to get an education or a job. Anyways, I've been trying to check in on him because yes he's a bad person, but unfortunately, I still care about his wellbeing.
Of course he's not okay, but I figure I can distract him for a bit, take him fishing, bowling, talk about the wedding, something to get him out of his head. But he has continuously ignored me and now more than ever he's doubling down on the terrible behavior. When I have been able to get a hold of him, all he wants to talk about is how "women are unfaithful and you can't find a good woman nowadays".
I'm really over it and just trying to plan my wedding, I've learned a long time ago that there isn't a point in arguing with him. So this leads us to yesterday, when I got fed up. This has been happening my whole childhood, but what really set it off was when he told me I "needed to quit nagging him about this speech" and "trust me from experience that nagging will make for a bad marriage" as if his actions weren't a contribution to his bad marriage.
But I didn't go down that rabbit hole, instead I just expressed to him that I was worried he was going to say something offensive, this is how this conversation went: “Dad, I'm just worried about you saying something that's going to make people uncomfortable. I know you want to speak, and I want you to speak but I just need to know generally what you want to talk about”.
“Well if it's all that I don't want to speak. I mean I could say a bad word and offend five people, just because I offend someone doesn't mean I shouldn't be allowed to say it and you're not going to tell me what I can and can't say”. “You're right I can't tell you what you can and can't say, but it is my wedding, shouldn't this be about me”? “Yeah, I want it to be about you and what you want”.
“Okay, so what I want is to have a general idea of what everyone is saying, not just you”. “That's not how that works”. “So it's about me until it isn't convenient for you to be about me”? “I didn't say that”. “Ok, so what are you saying? That's what I've wanted to know the entire time”. “You know what I don’t know what you're trying to pull with this wedding stuff. Count me out, I'm not going to be ridiculed and critiqued. Whatever I have to say about my daughter at her wedding should be ok no matter what is. Screw you and whatever game you're playing”.
So then, over text I told him that he needs to realize that walking me down the aisle and this speech are a privilege, not a right. You cannot say whatever you want. I guess that was the final straw for him, after calling me a million more names and not getting the response he wanted out of me, he said screw you and "you're not my daughter anymore," and blocked me.
I feel like I'm reasonably upset. It's not world-shattering, of course, I didn't want him to walk me anyway, but I had hoped since the divorce had started that he would realize he was wrong for so much of what he's done and said. I had hopes that he wanted to speak and walk me because he wanted to be better, and of course that wasn't the case.
I think now I'm just going to walk with my fiancé down the aisle. I'm just so tired of trying to appease my family when in reality I don't even want them there.
50. Get Out Grandma
My maternal grandmother is nearly 80 and I’m her only grandchild. She raised me because my mother is a narcissist and my father was behind bars. My significant other and I are getting married in June. He is half-Scottish half-Indian and thus does not look "white". Obviously the half of his family that is Indian also does not look "white". This does not matter to me and most of family loves him.
He is a great guy with a good job and he treats me very well. The problem is my grandmother. She doesn't approve of him because "nice white Catholic girls" do not marry "men like THAT". I've told her I won't stand for that kind of rhetoric, but it doesn’t matter to her, he is not white that is all she needs to know. However, she didn't stop ther.
She went on to spew horrible remarks, even saying, "He probably needs a green card!!" He doesn't. I love my gran dearly and I'm very grateful for all she did for me, which is a lot. However, I don't want her at my wedding because she is bound to make prejudiced comments to my significant other and his family.
There is no chance that she can made to behave and I don't want my day ruined. This will be my first time meeting some of his extended family and I don't want them thinking I am like her. She is already upset that we will be having the wedding at a venue as opposed to a church (neither of us is religious) and that we plan to incorporate some elements from his Indian culture.
I am her only grandchild and I don't want to exclude her or hurt her feelings. The family is divided over this and my narcissist mom is on her side…despite the fact that they hate each other.
Sources: Reddit
