Catching cheating partners. Going through vicious break-ups. Dealing with deranged attempts at getting back together. Relationships don't always go smoothly, but man oh man, did these people deal with the craziest of the crop. Buckle up y'all. These dramatic relationships sound like they're straight out of a soap opera, but somehow happened in real life.
1. Daddy Issues
I came home from work one day and found my wife cheating on me with my dad. It blew up all over Facebook and became a local drama fest where people tried to organize a shunning of my dad and my wife. I know people cheat, but with your partner's father? Come on...
2. I’m Your Number 1 Fan
I dated a girl for 3 weeks. Near the end of that third week she invites me back to her place and I discover she's made a shrine just for me. There was a picture within a picture frame with her photoshopped into it badly, several used napkins from our dates, and a bag of 2-week-old popcorn I didn't get to finish from our first date... so yeah.
3. The Joke’s On Her
I canceled on a party my girlfriend's friends were having because I worked late. But then my boss let me out a few hours early because the restaurant was empty, so I decided to make a late entrance and have some drinks. I got to the bar and asked my girlfriend's cousin where she was. Her cousin said, "oh, she’s in her car out front on the phone."
As I walked away to go to the car her cousin panicked and said "NO! WAIT! SHE'S IN THE BATHROOM!" Me knowing she was lying, I jogged to my girlfriend's car out front. I looked in the window and she was pantless doing intimate favors for two other guys in the back seat. That was ten years ago. Now she's a mother to four fatherless children and I'm engaged to her beautiful ex-best friend.
4. Lacking Some Empathy
When my best friend passed away, two days later I decided to finally step outside the house and spend time with my girlfriend and a friend. Then , when she and I were alone, she turns around in the car and says these exact words: "You shouldn't be sad, you're out with us right now. You're bringing the mood down." That night I decided to end things. She then played the victim card and pretended nothing happened between us. Crazy.
5. Wash Your Hands of This Guy
Several years ago, my friend had been dating a guy for several months and things seemed reasonably normal. They had just decided to live together but before they did he wanted to share some things with her about his life. He had his own apartment and she was planning on moving in with him and knew that in his small apartment the second bedroom was always off limits. But, he was a bit of a geek and a bit obsessed with video games, and she figured it was a media room or a comic room and never really questioned it.
So one day she was invited for lunch where he cooked for her and said, "Before you move in you need to visit my room." He told her that he thought the room was perfectly normal but had been told by a previous girlfriend he needed to keep this away from people, as they might not understand. As he took her into the room she was imagining a bunch of things; torture chamber, fetish room, something really geeky.
Instead, what she saw was both unimaginable and unbelievable.
She walked into the room to find, quite literally, thousands of urine samples in jars he had been stealing from the local hospital.
For several years now, he had been experimenting with different food / drink combinations to see what color his urine would be.
As impressed as she was with the cataloging and the effort, needless to say this was the last conversation she ever had with him.
6. A Conversation Waiting to Be Discovered
I picked up his phone to change the channel on Chromecast. It unlocked and opened the Messenger app where he was making plans with my roommate to hook up while I was at work the next day.
7. Diagnosis: Lies
Beat this: My ex-girlfriend faked cancer to try to get me back.
8. Throwing a Curveball
I worked with this girl, in different departments at a huge company. We got friendly and hooked up a few times. So one day we’re out at a bar. I turn around and am face-to-face with her. Without missing a beat she introduces me to her husband. I don't know how but I played it cool.
9. Frozen in Fear
My friend lived and went to school in Paris. We were out to dinner with a mutual friend, and both began talking about this guy they went to school with and both had dated. This guy had been dating this girl for a few months, but they broke it off because she got this really weird vibe their last few arguments. My friend agreed. They both proceeded to tell stories, but this girl's were way more messed up.
The guy stalked her for weeks afterwards, showing up near her apartment "coincidentally" and tipping her off that he was hot on her trail, asking her how certain events were, etc. One day she came to her apartment to find her knives had all gone missing. She remembered she had given him a set of keys. A few days later, the knives were in the freezer. She changed her locks after that, fearing for her life.
Shortly thereafter (a week or two had gone by), an old lady who lived downstairs was reported murdered. The cops had no leads and the girl was so creeped out she moved as soon as she could.
10. How Dare You Know?
My worst boyfriend was super pissed at me for knowing that he cheated on me with several women, because it sucks when people know bad things about you. He genuinely felt like he was the one who needed consoling.
11. My Nightmare Wedding
My old roommate was the type of gal whose personal bookshelf was filled to the brim with wedding magazines and a few interesting titles included "making marriage work" and "Working through difficult relationships." She often went out with her girlfriends to try on wedding rings and wedding dresses. That's all fine and dandy, but she wasn't getting married. Didn't even have a boyfriend. She BARRELED through hook-ups at a remarkable speed. I didn't think much of it until she hooked up with a friend of mine. Then I learned the true extent of her crazy.
They started hanging out as friends, for about a week or so. Big surprise, they ended up having sex. Just once. He told her straight up it didn't mean anything, and he didn't think they should continue. She came home to me crying, absolutely bawling her eyes out because she didn't understand why he would "break it off so suddenly." A few days go by and I guess she broke into his apartment, cleaned the entire place and cooked him food. She waited at his apartment for several hours until he came home and said, I kid you not, "Hey honey, how was your day? I hope you don't mind but I cleaned up the apartment and made us some dinner before bed." I think he nearly pooped his pants.
15. Distress Rehearsal
My ex faked her own overdose when I tried to break up with her. After she made hints that she would do something, she hung up the phone and wouldn't answer my calls. Fast forward two hours later, I kick in her door because she wouldn't answer the door either, to walk in to her laying on the couch with a picture of us and pills all over.
After shaking her and starting to call police, she turned to me and said, "I knew you loved me." That’s when I realized she was truly crazy. Oh, young love…sigh.
16. Edible Incredible
I broke up with my girlfriend. Unfortunately for me, she wasn't ready to call time on the relationship, so she kind of started stalking me. She would call in the middle of the night and hang up, drive by my house all the time, and once I caught her parked half a block away casing my place. But that isn't even the creepy part. The creepy part was a few months later I started to date this other girl.
The ex would call me and scream at me that she knew I was banging another broad because she saw me at this place and that place.A few dates in and me and this new girl are at my duplex. We start making out and one thing leads to another...we are on the floor in my living room making sexy time. During the sexy time this new girl stops in mid moan and freezes up. I open my eyes and she is looking at me with this terrified look on her face. I look at her quizzically and she pulls my face close to hers and whispers, "Someone is watching us through the mail slot."
I have one of those mail slots that is just a slot in the door with a little metal flap on the outside but like a hood thing on the inside. It is dark in my house and I can't really see good but as I slowly look over I can definitely tell that there is movement and I can see a line of light from the lamp posts. I quickly start to get my pants on. The lid on the mailbox shuts and I see the shadow from the screen door close. I can hear multiple foot steps running down my walkway and then a car door open and close. In a flurry, I button my pants and head to the door and I hear a crash of something on the door. I fling it open and see my ex's car racing down the street with two of her friends with her.
There is some sort of mushy stuff all over my front door and glass all over. I flip on the lights and there is a half-broken baby food jar all over my porch and green strained pea baby food all over my door. WTF? Neither she, nor her friends, have a kid at this point so she had to go to the store and pick it up.... specifically, for this occasion though? Was she trying to send me a message like Luca Brasi sleeps with fishes?
17. Road Trip of Regret
My ex-wife cheated on me, lit my house on fire, took my daughter to Puerto Rico without telling me, abandoned her daughter, ran away to Barcelona and shacked up with a guy, came back and expected me to forgive her... That's only the tip of the iceberg.
18. The Real Ex-Files
My old boyfriend tried to convince me that while on a camping trip with his cousin, they came across a dead "bigfoot." While poking the bigfoot with a stick, people in decon suits from the CIA came upon them and made them leave the woods because it was top secret info, blah blah blah. He then proceeded to tell me that the CIA began following him, and they recruited him to carry out hitman-type missions for them. He wasn't a teenager when he did this. He was 25.
No, he is not schizophrenic. He is, however, a sociopath and a conspiracy theorist. When I dumped him, he stalked me and almost got me fired from my job. He would call my department non-stop and hang up if anyone but me answered the phone. He'd drive around the parking lot and blow up my work phone and cell. He sent creepy letters to a guy I was seeing. He'd show up to a local bar I hung out at.... he lived 45 miles away and had no friends in my town.
19. Stake Out for an Unfaithful Nurse
I suspected that my wife was seeing someone else. She had been acting "off" for about a week. We would be sitting on the couch and she would get text messages claiming to be from a female friend, yet she would always set the phone face down. A few nights later she tells me that she is going to go cover a shift for a nurse co-worker who just had a miscarriage and that she would be working late.
That night I woke up out of a deep sleep with my heart racing, with just a feeling that something was wrong. I snuck over to her side of the bed, took her phone and went out into the living room to go through her text messages. That's when I learned the awful truth. Sure enough, she had detailed plans to meet up with some guy at a hotel. I took photos of the texts with my phone as future evidence. I went back to bed, returned her phone and just laid there contemplating my next steps.
I knew they were planning on meeting in the afternoon at the hotel, so when I arrived at work I told my boss that I needed a half day and possibly a few days off afterward. About an hour before their planned meet-up time, I drove to my brother-in-law’s house. I let him know what was going on and asked to borrow his truck so that I could witness their arrival with my own eyes. He made me promise not to confront them. I showed up at the hotel parking lot and about 30 minutes later, they both arrive in his truck. She was dressed in her work outfit. After they went in, I snuck around to his truck and deflated all his tires.
She had carefully planned to cover her tracks. She took our two kids to the babysitter dressed in her scrubs to appear like she was going to work. Then drove her car to the parking garage to have him pick her up there, knowing I might drive by her work to see if her car was there. I left the hotel, went back home, piled every picture we had ever taken together along with photos of our kids on the kitchen table. I packed a bag for myself and the girls and drove down to my hometown to stay with some friends.
On the way there, I called the hotel and asked to be connected to the room under her name. She answered and I don't remember exactly what I said, but something to the effect of "I know where you are and I know what you're doing..." She wasn't really phased until she heard our girls in the backseat laughing and singing. Then she broke down and begged me to come back. I told her we needed a few days away and that they deserve a better mother than her and hung up. She called me constantly and I just sent it straight to voicemail for the next few days.
20. Hardly a Wholesome Breakfast
I broke up with my girlfriend. Then, two years and one move later, I look up from my bowl of cereal on my birthday to see her staring at me through the screen door crying.
21. Freaky Friday
June 1, 2018. Normal day. A Friday. My husband had kissed me goodbye and gone to work. I was cleaning the house for friends who were coming to stay the weekend. The doorbell rang. There was a man at my door who introduced himself as the husband of a woman who my husband worked with. He was there to tell me that my husband and his wife were having an affair.
He had busted them about six months prior and had told his wife that she had to end the affair. He thinks that she did end it, but only for about three months, and then they started up again. When he found out they were at it again, he called my husband and told him to leave his wife alone or else he would come and tell me everything that was happening. Apparently, my husband thought that he was bluffing. He had no idea what was coming.
I was literally the last to know. My husband never came home again. He got a rental unit and a lawyer. The divorce happened on December 21, 2018. We had been together for 24 years. Still hurts.
22. Two Writes Make Mr. Wrong
This guy wasn't even a boyfriend or ex. He just convinced himself that we were in love and then decided to stalk me. He would drive past my house all the time and follow me everywhere around school. Even back in middle school he would always sit near me on the bus, which by the way wasn't even his bus. This went on for years until it culminated in a deranged act.
He was two years older and was one of those kids that pretended he was in a gang, he brought knives to school a few times. On several occasions he threatened to kill himself if I didn't give him a chance. The last time I saw him, he cut himself in front of me seven times "for the seven letters of your name,” he said. He went off to juvie shortly after, and years later returned with my name tattooed on his chest.
23. A Picture Says About Five Hundred Dollars...
My boyfriend asked me to look for something on his computer. I saw a message pop up in the corner from a woman saying how she missed my boyfriend. I was curious about what she was talking about, then she sent a picture. Weird. Well, I clicked on it—and I've regretted it ever since. I was shocked to find out that through Facebook he's been talking to more than 100 women.
All of these women were either sending him pictures of their bodies or thanking him for money. I couldn’t believe what I was seeing. We've been together for 15 years. We have a child. I'm on disability because I have cancer, and he doesn't work. He's sent over $500 in exchange for pictures of women. That's over half my monthly paycheck.
24. That Wasn’t On His Shopping List
When we were 17, my best friend met this awful girl at Walmart. She was a hypocrite if there ever was one. Holier than thou and judgemental but also trying to get knocked up at 16 by anyone she could proposition, including his friends (and my brother). She was also a control freak, jealous, you know the drill. We begged and begged him to get far, far away from her. Who wants their friend to be a teen dad and tied to a loony forever?
The best we could get from him was that he promised not to get her pregnant. Yeah, no. She was pregnant within a year and they got married. Had two more kids but finally broke up a few years ago. We're 28 now and the kicker is he STILL won't fully divorce her. She lives with another guy and had that guy’s baby but my friend just won't file the papers. There’s also a BS law that requires him to pay for a baby that isn't his, because they're married and the law says it is even if genetics say otherwise.
It's both sad and frustrating.
25. Plot Twist
We were all on vacation (about seven friends) and everybody was drinking. We were the only two who didn’t. He managed to snag his girlfriend's phone while she was passed out and pulled me to the side. He said, "she's cheating on me, some guy named Joey has been texting her and meeting her after work for sex every day." We ended up searching for names and mutual friends via Facebook. Turned out Joey was a girl.
26. Lies, Lies, and More Lies
My girlfriend told me she needed a few weeks to herself to "figure things out." What she was actually doing was planning her wedding to a guy she met at work.
27. A Reason to Be Steaming Mad
My best friend was in a long distance relationship for a few years. She and her boyfriend played a lot of Steam games together. At one point, she gave him her credit card info so he could buy himself a game on Christmas, on the condition that he would delete the card info after. He did not delete the payment info, and his computer got hacked. She got a few large charges and reported it to her bank. Then she noticed smaller charges on her bank statement here and there from the past few months, all from Steam. Her boyfriend assured her it wasn't him, so she reported those charges as well.
What do you know—all of a sudden he got a vac ban from Steam for fraudulent charges. He starts claiming she had given him her card info again for a different purchase, and that she just forgot. He really wants the vac ban lifted because he plays a lot of Dota, and can't play multiplayer with the vac ban. And it gets worse. A few days later, her grandfather gets very sick very quickly. They were close, so she's obviously devastated.
She went to visit him in the hospital, and mid-conversation, he had a massive stroke. She and her family were basically shoved out of the room so the doctors could work. A doctor tells them he may be brain dead, but they have to wait and see. My friend is distraught and calls her boyfriend while waiting. She explains what happens. This jerk says, "That really sucks. Also can you make sure to call your bank so we can get that vac ban lifted?"
She hung up on him and didn't speak to him again for a year.
28. Truly Insensitive
I knew my relationship was over when my evil ex made jokes about me "faking" my depression. My dad has severe depression (he gets help and takes meds for it) and his brother had it until he ended his own life.
29. Running Late
My boyfriend didn't turn up to my brother's deathbed when he said he would. His exact words were "I'll get a shower and be there soon.” He then ignored my phone calls for hours and didn't show up. He didn't go to his wake or funeral, the very least he could have done. This was after eight years together and now even the worst day of my family's life has been tainted in my head by a selfish pig of a man.
30. Can’t Get Much Worse
I knew I had to leave my boyfriend when he made fun of me for a failed suicide attempt to the girl he had a "love child" with—during our marriage—after 10 years of being gaslighted and abused. There's more, but I really don't care to relive any of it. I recently got remarried to my best friend.
31. What a Story
My first boyfriend. High school. Seven months into our relationship, I get a call from him under the preface of "There's something I need to tell you." What he had to tell me was this: About a year ago when he was getting into drugs or the first time, his dealer friend picked him up to go to his apartment, and for whatever reason, they decided to pick up a homeless person on the side of the road.
When they get to the apartment they get super messed up and his friend–out of nowhere—pulls out a gun and shoots the homeless guy in the head. My BF said that he was under the influence of so much stuff that his friend convinced him to cannibalize part of the homeless guy, and he hadn't told anyone except me.
Three months later, found out it was a COMPLETE lie that he told to mess with my head because he felt I was getting distant, and he wanted to make me care about him again. Oh, also he had never actually done any drugs, he was just a manipulative pathological liar. Yeah, we aren't dating anymore.
32. Indecent Proposal
Ex-wife actually asked me for her blessing to commit adultery with another married man. She was shocked when I said I don't support it. She went ballistic (she had severe mental health issues), went and did it anyway, and ended up in a psych ward. Two marriages ended and now the two cheaters are engaged. I was a little devastated at first, but it was a blessing in disguise.
33. Getting Your Priorities in Order
I was dating a guy who had a kid that lived in another state. He only saw his son a few times a year, but I figured it was because of the distance. Nope. I was so wrong. On 4/20 one year, he decided to stay for our city's 4/20 festival instead of going home for his child's birthday. Quote—"Little Man will understand. It's 2 Chainz." Didn't stay with him much longer after that.
34. Wrong Place, Wrong Time
I was at a party with a group of friends. I was standing behind my best friend talking in a group when my friend all of the sudden gets a text. I look at his phone and it's my girlfriend's full name and her asking when he is going to be over. She was supposed to be out of town at her mom's house.
35. Stairway to Hell
I was dating this girl for about six months and she could never let me be alone. She always had to know what I was doing. Right before I broke up with her I caught her looking through my window to see what I was doing. It wouldn't have been so bad if I didn’t live on the 2nd floor. She brought a ladder to my house to see what I was doing in my room upstairs.
36. All Take, No Give
My best friend was with this awful sociopath of a man. He cheated on her multiple times. He was emotionally and physically abusive and he slowly turned her into an insecure, crazy maniac. She once slapped me because we were in a club and he said something to me, and I had to lean into his ear to respond since it was loud and she thought I kissed him (?!!?). She moved countries for him, allowed him to live rent-free while doing nothing, and worked two jobs to support them all the while.
He’d break things in the house whenever they got into a fight. He brought girls back to her place and had sex with them in her bed, then sent her pictures of it while she was at work. They got pregnant and she got an abortion, but he didn't go with her or support her emotionally or financially. After the abortion, whenever they fought he’d tell her she was a murderer who killed his baby.
They're still together ten years later.
37. Why Self-Esteem Matters
My sister-in-law (wife’s sister) has always had weight issues (thanks to her parents who always called her "little fatty" growing up). At 21 she went rummaging through humanity's garbage can and brought home the first piece of crap to show her any attention. Within nine months of meeting him they were married and within a year she had his baby.
This guy has it all. He's openly rude to her and her family in public (even in front of her parents). He has about a fifth-grade education and zero plans to improve himself. He has a baby with another woman who he never sees (and never tries to). He has a drinking and gambling problem.
He also makes sure it's a "his money/her money" situation. He spends all of his money on his parents (who are better off) and his nieces, or on booze/gambling, so my sister-in-law (who does not make a lot) basically supports them. He insists on living in the lousiest, most dangerous part of town, even though they've dealt with several break-ins and they could live closer to her parents for less than they pay now if they wanted to. Speaking of her parents, they're basically raising his baby because she works and he just stays out as much as possible.
I figured they wouldn't last a year, but now I fear she'll never leave him and the kid is going to turn out super messed up.
38. Why Not Try Beanie Babies Next Time?
After sleeping with a girl I met at a bar, I got out of bed. She asked where I was going, and I told her to go throw the condom away. She then told me not to throw it away and to give it to her. Turns out she was keeping a collection of all the condoms guys had used on her. Needless to say, I got out as soon as I possibly could.
39. A Real Shaggy Dog Story
My ex tried to get back with me by giving me a bag of dog hair...
40. Who Wants to Be a Millionaire?
The guy loved bragging about what a jerk he was. He treated her like garbage and never seemed interested in her, until he found out how rich she was (one of her dad's companies got sold and the news was public, so her dad couldn't keep his name off the Forbes list). Then, he publicly declared that they're together, after three years of toying with her.
At every family event he was at, he just treated it like one big networking bonanza. Doesn't seem to have a clear job, but claims he's in finance. Claimed to be "working remotely" while freeloading at her parents' place for six weeks (and happily treating all their household staff like they were his employees). We all tried telling her and even though we're like sisters, she actually told me, "It's ok if you don't like him, you don't have to."
Her father reminded her that it's in their family constitution that any potential spouse must be thoroughly vetted by private investigators first. He gave her the courtesy of warning her that he was going to do it in exchange for her agreement that she won't tell him while the investigation is ongoing. She confidently agreed, completely believing he'd come back clean.
Yeah, the guy was cheating on her.
She was a mess for the longest time but fortunately, she's fine now and married to the most awesome guy ever.
41. Way to Break the Relationship
I was on a "break" with my girlfriend at the time. Got a text from a girl that I had mutual friends with and we knew each other kind of well—started having dirty conversations, talking about sleeping together, etc. Turns out my girlfriend had gotten a burner phone with a different number and was the one sending me the texts the whole time. She was not pleased.
42. Well That Escalated Quickly...
I caught my ex when we were both standing in the examining room, getting his "UTI treatment." Doc came in and said gonorrhea. He lied for a whole 2-3 months I imagine. Even lied about how he got it, tried convincing me he accidentally swiped his genitals in some mystery fluids in a gas station toilet (what in the world...). When he realized I wasn't that stupid, he tried to drink random bottles on the doctor's shelf.
He started hitting himself. He fell on his knees sobbing and tried grabbing my hands and begging for me not to leave. He threatened murder-suicide that entire night, and assaulted me for close to nine hours when I was trying to pack my bags to leave. He choked me in the driveway. I just spoke at his sentencing this Thursday. He is a convicted felon now. I hope he's grown from this.
43. Did He Get an A+?
I caught my boyfriend of two years. He had asked me to proofread his paper on his Mac and the text messenger popped up in the right hand. He was sitting in his bed texting some girl "goodnight, I love you" while sitting right next to me in his bed. I deleted his entire paper, wrote "Who's Marissa?", saved it, told him it looked great, and left. She was his girlfriend of eight years who lived next to his parents two hours away.
44. Beware the Blog
This isn't a story about a crazy ex of mine, but rather one of my younger brothers' that I ended up having to deal with. Years ago, I developed a following on Tumblr because I shared the fan music I made there. My younger brother (I think he was 13 or 14?) thought the website looked fun and made himself an account. Now, I didn't know about this until it had gone really far, but one of my "fans" who was my age (which would have been 16 or 17) decided to initiate an online flirtation, and then a relationship, with my still-in-middle-school brother.
It made me really mad once I found out about it, but at the same time I knew that he would be encountering/dating girls all his life and nothing would be more wounding to street cred than having your "Tumblr famous" big sister step in on one of your relationships. My stance was to stay out of it...but I couldn't help but notice that my brother was going in and out of really severe moodiness, and I felt like it had something to do with her. So I looked up her blog. What I found was just...insane.
This girl was definitely cracked—either that, or she was exploring a "mentally ill Tumblr persona": Posted constantly about voices in her head, and how she wanted to kill herself, but she couldn't leave "him" (meaning my middle-school-aged brother) behind, or how "he" did or said something that made her want to cut herself, or whatever.
So I did what any loving older sister would do... ran one of her selfies through reverse Google Image search to see if I could find a match on Facebook, ended up getting her full name, searched her name, found her in an online newspaper article for being on the Honor Roll, called the school, was put through to her guidance counselor, and described in detail the girl's behavior. I also emailed the GC screenshots from the girl's blog. GC said that behavior seemed very out-of-character for her (aiding my suspicion that the blog was "make-believe"), and that it would be addressed right away.
According to what she told my brother in her last messages to him, she was called down to the guidance office, her parents were there, she found out that someone had reported her blog, and they went through it in front of her, making her explain every post. It was gone the next day, and she never made an effort to contact my little brother again.
Tablet Under Budget
45. The Nuttiest Idea
An ex-girlfriend, knowing that I have a potentially fatal nut allergy, returned my clothes, console games etc. to me by way of filling the bag holding said items with peanuts and leaving it on my doorstep while I was at work. On reflection, I'm quite impressed.
46. Goodbye Earl
My friend is currently a month shy of her one-year wedding anniversar, and she’s approximately five months pregnant. We'll call her husband Tim. Tim is a complete mess. He’s an abusive raging alcoholic, controlling, extremely jealous of everything, horrible anger issues, buddy needs help...BIG TIME. He ended up throwing her down the stairs one night (when she was pregnant) in one of their many domestic spats. At that point, she left him for about a week, had an abortion and then he proposed about a week later. She said no right? Wrong!
It was like nothing ever happened. We were all supposed to be happy and excited for her....how? It’s exhausting having these friends, truly. I’ve told her many times that if I ever see him put his hands on her I’ll pull a Dixie Chicks “Earl Had To Die” on him. Our group of friends has multiple bets on when the marriage will end, how horrible is that!?!? It is what it is, I’ve tried and tried and tried to help her out of this situation but I’m out.
47. Hero or Zero?
Luckily my friend finally realized she was in a horrible relationship, but for a few years she was with this awful guy. She had already had a baby before they got together, then not long after she got pregnant with his. Now there's a lot to this story.
First of all, her daughter from before they got together was diagnosed with cancer just a few months into their relationship. By and large, he stepped up to the point where she called him her dad. BUT whilst going through this horrible journey, he'd talk to other girls online behind my friend’s back. When she found out, she became super paranoid and the poor woman had enough to worry about as it was. Anyway, this went back and forth for a while, and the both of them cheated on each other at some point. The relationship was beyond toxic.
Fast forward to 2013, her daughter tragically passed away at the age of four. Their relationship was still awful, then finally came the last straw—brace yourselves. Now when her daughter was alive, she'd get a lot of charity money given to her from many people. Kept it all in a piggy bank, and given the situation, there was quite a bit of it in there. Turns out her now ex boyfriend had been stealing her deceased daughter’s charity money to fund his drug habit, and had also stolen from his son's savings—leaving my friend with nothing to spend for her son's birthday.
48. Surely, There Are Better Lies?
My ex told me both of his parents were killed in a drunk driving accident and spent the next ten days on vacation with another woman while I thought he was making funeral arrangements and executing their estate.
49. Over the Hill
My ex-wife and I went up to Big Bear to go snowboarding and spend some time together. We were having issues and I thought to be fun to get away and do something fun together. Let's just say it did not go well. She said she grew up snowboarding, but she never made it down a hill and had a terrible time. So we went back to the cabin and she was pretty much just on her phone, not talking to me. We make it back and she says she needs to just shower and be alone for a bit. She goes off and I just hang in the den.
She left her phone in her purse and it just kept buzzing, so I checked it out because what if someone was trying to reach us or something? I open it up to read a full conversation between her and this guy. It wasn't good. I read how that day’s texts started and they started really early in the morning. "Hope you're doing ok up there." Her reply was just brutal: "We'll see, doubt it. He's trying too hard. He should just know it really doesn't matter. Wish I was up here with you instead."
Just the worst stuff. And that was before I even woke up. I was pretty devastated and really didn't know what to do. I knew I didn't want to fight because I realized she wasn't worth fighting for. Grabbed my bag and drove back to San Diego. I took her phone with me, so I could text him and tell him "We're coming home early, let's meet." I ended up inviting him to a coffee shop and waited for him to show up. When he walked through the door, he saw me immediately and kind of stopped. I waved him over and wasn't too far from the door, so I told him we need to talk. He comes over and already front loads with the "It's not what you think," blah blah blah speech.
I told him that if he wants her, he can take his sorry ass to Big Bear and go get her. Because I was leaving and we're through. See you when we sign the papers. And I left. Second worst day of my life but I'm glad it happened. Met my lady three years later and we've been together for four years, now engaged.
50. More of Me to Love (and Dump You)
My ex apparently liked big girls. I was underweight when we started dating. Within about a month, I'd gained about 20lbs, and eventually gained 65lbs (about five months in). I was really freaked out and couldn't figure out why I was gaining so much weight. I hardly eat anything. It turned out that be was putting steroids and other things in my food and drinks to make me gain weight because I wasn't "big enough.”
Needless to say, I dumped him and I'm proud to tell you all that I've lost the weight and feel like myself again. Oh, and my boobs stayed big. I guess I should thank him for that?
51. Birds of a Feather
Two of my friends are dating the same terrible person. They all know about each other. My friends aren't OK with it but they're both too invested in this person to walk away. The interested party tells everyone else that my friends are fine with the situation, but that's just a lie. This has been going on and off for over a decade now.
It's awkward for everyone…
52. Netflix and Not So Chill
My ex thinks I found out about her affair when I looked at her phone, but I knew about two months earlier when she sent me a pic of herself watching Netflix in bed. I don't think she realized that the dude's face was 100% visible reflected in the laptop. After that it was a matter of me being in denial and trying to fix things.
53. Comic-Con Con Artist
It was classic love at first sight. We said “I love you” after two weeks. We moved in together after two months. Engaged after six months. We had been together for more than four years. I left my rent control bachelor pad and picked a bigger apartment so she could have her art studio. We did everything together and split all bills 50/50.
She goes to Comic-Con in NYC (she is an exhibitor) and I help her pack. I dropped her at the airport. Everything was fine. No signs of anything. She should be back in four days, but she never came home. She simply disappeared. Ghosted. The day she should be home I freak out that she may be dead just to find myself blocked on everything: email, phone, social media, the works.
Everything I know is due to the unpaid bills she left behind, the credit card we shared (she stopped paying two months before), and her cell phone bill. On her bill, I found one particular NYC area code over and over on the call history and put it together. She met him on San Diego ComiCon a few months before and methodically and systematically put together a plan to abandon me, take as much as she could to NYC and never look back.
Plot twist: she maxed out our credit card and Amazon card furnishing their new home in NYC. By the time grief turned into practicality it was too late for me to cancel everything. I literally had to log in and see all purchases of housewares, made with my money for a house I will never live in. I could not live at our house or afford our lifestyle on one income alone.
It was a good six months of self-destructive behavior and overall self-loathing. It wasn’t even the love part that hurt me the most but the flat out betrayal and economic damage, as it took me over a year of living paycheck to paycheck to get all balances to zero.
54. Taking Things to the Next Level
When my mom called me and said that I needed to come to the house (30 minutes away) because she didn't know how much longer my grandfather was going to make it. She insisted that I let my girlfriend at the time drive me because she didn't want me driving upset, as I was very close with my pawpaw. Girlfriend agreed... I threw on some shoes and was ready to go. Girlfriend proceeded to get in the shower. And then blow dry and straighten her hair. And then do her makeup.
My mother called when we were 15 minutes away and told me that he'd passed. Had we left when we were supposed to, I would've gotten to say goodbye.
55. Last Choice Haircutters
I woke up to the sound of a set of scissors closing. I look up to see her holding a tuff of my hair. She looks down and says, "I'm going to keep this, so I have a bit of you with me all the time."
56. Playing Favorites
Two of my friends got together. They each have a daughter from a past relationship. The woman's daughter lives with them and gets everything under the sun. The man's daughter is treated like an outsider when she visits. Both girls are four and they were supposed to each get a tablet for Christmas, so I bought them each a tablet case as my gift. Big. Mistake. It wasn’t until Christmas morning that I realized the girlfriend’s daughter was the only one to actually get the tablet.
More often than not, when a visit with his daughter is approaching, the girlfriend picks fights with him and he ends up not getting to see his daughter. If it’s not a scheduled visit for the guy and his daughter, the girlfriend picks fights on Thursdays or Fridays, they break up for the weekend, then she comes crawling back on Sunday night. This usually happens immediately after he pays all of their bills. Now they have a child together and she made him quit his well paying job with benefits to stay home with the baby so she could waitress.
He decided to go to school part time, with an hour-long commute, but she refused to take care of their daughter on her days off so he had to drop out. I’ve also recently learned that even though she gets $1100/month in family allowance, plus her pay & tips, plus his parental leave, they never have any money for their baby expenses. I’ve learned that the reason for this is that she has a drug habit.
He is my brother and when I try to explain things to him and tell him he needs out, he fights with me and calls me crazy, saying that I’m the reason for all his stress.
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57. ‘Til Death
My girlfriend in high school made me promise to have sex with her dead body if she died. We haven't been together for years, and I'm not sure if I'm still bound by this promise...
58. Meow and Swipe Right
My crazy ex sent me her new kitten's umbilical chord for Valentine's Day.
The above is a hundred percent truth.
59. How About No?
My ex was a bit on the controlling side and she told me she wished I was handicapped so that no one would want to spend any time with me and she could have me all to herself.
60. Obsessive Thoughts
Didn't end up with an STD luckily, but my ex had Obsessive Compulsive Disorder and he started going through this phase where he was obsessed that he was going to die of HIV. I was confused as to where this idea was coming from and so I was trying to help him get out of this obsessive loop and stop his tic as a result of it. Turns out he'd been sleeping with working girls for a year.
61. Feeling Blue
We were engaged, and it was about four months to the wedding. It was her birthday, and a Friday. We had both wanted to see Blue Man Group for a while, so I had ordered tickets for us. Being a Friday, I took off half a day to surprise her. When I arrived home, there was an unknown car in the drive, and the garage was open, which was extremely unusual. It also happened to bypass the security camera we had facing the front door.
I go in through the garage to hear the unmistakable sounds of love-making in our bedroom. I ended our relationship then and there, which her family claimed "broke" her. The last time I looked her up a couple of years ago, she had had two kids with two different guys, and had spent time in prison (it was a small town, so no surprises there).
Her family still made me out to be the bad guy in the relationship when I ended it because I didn't forgive her. Worst of all, I never did get to see Blue Man Group in person.
62. Second Life
I had a girlfriend who made a Facebook for me without my knowledge. Little did I know that she had kept it up even two years after we had broken up. The worst part being that she had updated pictures of me up until the day I had confronted her about it. She also knew what I had done and where I had been on exact dates. But she is a bold ex. She once, not too long ago, asked me out while I was with my current girlfriend...
63. Money is No Object
One of my exes was a stickler about money to the point it felt petty. Every time we went out to eat, even after dating for two years, he would flag down the waiter and say, "We need the check split in half. Evenly." If we would spend $5 at the grocery store buying spaghetti and sauce, he would ask me to pay half.
Anyway, my 17-year-old cat was dying, and I was heartbroken. The day I said goodbye to her, my ex—then boyfriend—took me out for ice cream. We shared a $5 sundae at Dairy Queen. He paid! I was so happy and touched by the small gesture during the worst day of my life. But then in the car afterward, he asked me if we should "settle up now or... because, I mean... the sundae was $4.95 and I don't think you gave me any money for it," and I lost it. I threw a $20 at him and cried.
Listen, I don't expect men to foot the bill all the time, and I definitely like to be fair, but buying your long-term girlfriend a $5 sundae when she's absolutely distraught is not unreasonable. This was 8 years ago, and I'm since engaged to a wonderful and generous man! We share money wonderfully and I think I'm even more appreciative of him because of this particular ex.
64. A Stepmom’s Fury
My stepmom did this to her friend that she caught sleeping with my Dad. Just wrapped her long hair around her fist a couple of times and dragged her down the stairs and out of the house naked. Teen me stayed out of stepmom’s way after that—but that was nothing compared to what she did to the babysitter. The babysitter didn’t know stepmom knew and they went shopping one day. My stepmom pushed her in front of a slow-moving car and broke her leg.
Dad got a little angry about that because the babysitter also danced and lived with us so her income went down. Both the babysitter and the stepmom were dancers. Being a teen in that house was crazy.
65. Sleepover
He has a longtime friend of his (who happened to be female) who was staying the night. She was sleeping in the basement bedroom and we were upstairs. Well, he slipped out of bed in the middle of the night and woke me up. When he noticed, he told me he had to go to the bathroom. I guess I already had my suspicions, because I lay there and listened to him walk down the hall, then past the bathroom, and down the stairs. So, I followed.
And caught him in the basement getting ready to get busy with her.
Oh. I was not a happy puppy. Was stupid and tried to salvage our engagement, but I wasn't "fun anymore" and he left.
66. Sign on the Dotted Line
My best friend is in the military. He was dating a slightly older woman, mid-30s, while we were in our mid-20s. She had four kids from three different dads, but she seemed really cool otherwise the first few times I met her. So ok, my boy has had some issues with dating so I get it, but I definitely think he can do better. But hey, we were in our 20s. If he wants to hook up with a more experienced woman for a bit, I'm ok with it.
Then he comes to work one day and is telling a mutual friend of ours that he's engaged. Now, this is on April 1st. I call BS. There's no way he's engaged to her. They've been dating less than a year, probably like six months. No way. I'm his best friend and this is the first I'm hearing about it??? I tell our mutual friend that he's lying, to his face. This is an April Fools joke. It has to be.
Unfortunately, the joke was on me, because they really were engaged, and got married shortly thereafter. At the wedding, everyone is telling him to just leave and not go through with it. All of the groomsmen are pulling him aside, individually at first then as a group, to tell him to leave. His dad is standing there and just looks away like, "I don't see anything." He goes through with it and marries her.
Few months after they get married, she talks him into adopting her oldest, since that dad is MIA. He does. The ink is still wet on the adoption papers getting finalized and she turns into a raging lunatic. Just non-stop raging at him, belittling him, and just being downright mean all the time. They lasted 14 months total maybe. Just a few months after the adoption was official, he filed for divorce. Ended up paying child support for over ten years. The child ended up being raised by the grandparents and he paid the money to them but still, ouch.
67. Charity Case
My best friend (a goody two shoes) decided it was a fabulous idea to date a guy she met while volunteering with her mom at a local food pantry. He was not a volunteer, however—he was putting in his community service hours. I warned her (as I come from the opposite side of life as her) that it wasn’t in her best interest and she didn’t know what she was getting into. Side note: I don’t hate on anyone for being in that situation, there’s so much more to this, just didn’t want to overdetail it.
After six stressful months of her luckily avoiding disaster after disaster with this guy, it took her until she was in the middle of a huge drug deal with him (not her first at this point either) for her to wake up and realize what she was actually doing. He asked her to put everything in her purse while he sped home, and luckily that was her last straw.
She ended it with him hours later and I was absolutely thrilled!
Until she told me a few weeks later she was pregnant…
68. Regrets? I Have a Few
She left our two-year relationship for this guy. Then I start getting messages from him. And I was MAD. I take my love very seriously I guess. So I keep getting Facebook messages, and then I check his Facebook. The account only has two friends, no pictures, and is four days old.
Turns out, he IMMEDIATELY left her when she left me for him. But she wanted ME to crawl back to her? So she made a fake account to make me jealous.
I legitimately stopped breathing from how hard I laughed.
69. Hunting for Problems
My brother started to think his wife was cheating on him since a lot of sketchy stuff was going on. So, we made a plan: We told her we were going on a hunting trip—but really, we were laying an ingenious trap. We never actually left town and holed up at my house. We drove to his place after dark and caught her red-handed. My brother was mad with rage and wanted to go in there and beat the guy to a pulp—but I convinced him there was a better option that would really nail them.
One weekend, we went on a hunting trip, except the twist was that we never left the city. We stayed at my house till it got dark, then drove back to his place in my neighbor’s car. His wife sent him a picture of her at home saying she was going to go to bed early. Shortly after, we saw a guy walk to the house and let himself in.
We snuck up to the house and, using the night vision camera, got video of them bumping uglies in the living room. My brother wanted to confront this guy at this point so... I did something messed up and called the authorities. I said I heard a lot of yelling from the house and asked if they could go check. It kept my brother from messing with the dude (a coworker of hers).
Cops show up, take statements. We leave and the next day he pulls her iMessages off the email account and talks to a lawyer. We give the lawyer the messages and when we show up five days later from our "hunting trip," he calls her and says he got something wild and wants her to come out and see it. When she comes out he gives her divorce papers and kicks her out of the house.
She had the police do a civil stand by while she got her stuff a few days later. House was his before they got married so all she got to keep was some stuff they bought together and her car. No kids and the prenup nullified the alimony she could have gotten as he made way more money than her. The guy she was sleeping with had a record. We saw her a few months later, she tried talking to my wife and said she missed my brother and she was sorry, the guy and her broke up shortly after the divorce.
70. Parrots Are Just Spies With Wings
This is in the past, but still a good one. Ended up finding out that my (now ex) girlfriend was cheating on me after hearing one of my parrots pick up, "Oh, God, yes, Jim!" In a rather scratchy sensual voice. Turns out they've been having sex where I keep him while I went to work. Dumped her the next time I saw her and told her.
71. Was That Really Appropriate?
I was living on the West Coast and her birthday was coming up the next weekend. The call came on Wednesday that Grandma was in the hospital and had 24 to 72 hours to live at best. I immediately called work and let them know I will be out Thursday and Friday and maybe some days next week. Bought a one-way plane ticket and called my girlfriend who seemed understanding.
I get back to the Midwest and got to the hospital in time to see my grandma, she died that night. I was asked to write the eulogy. Checked in with my girlfriend and she asked if our plans for her birthday were going to be affected. Erm, yes honey, the funeral isn’t until Monday. I’ll be back on Tuesday. She hung up on me. She picked me up from the airport and didn’t even get out of the car to embrace me. The drive home felt like ice water was in my veins. I was so in love and was writing off the red flags.
Two weeks later, it was my birthday. I knew things were on the outs and was preparing to break up but she invited me out for my birthday dinner. I show up at our favorite place and wait 45 minutes at the bar for her to arrive. She texted me a picture of her and her girlfriends out at a concert asking how I liked being ditched on my birthday.
Tears streaming down my cheeks on the car ride home I calmly packed up her stuff, let myself into her place with my key and left her belongings on the floor along with the key on top and locked the door behind me on the way out. Blocked her number on my phone and social media. And changed the locks the next day at my place. The next weekend I am watching TV and it’s late. She tries the door and I hear her key trying to work the lock. She’s sobbing outside my place, I just poured a stiff bourbon and turned up the volume on the TV until she left.
What a waste of a year. Looking back, I can’t imagine how I put up with her selfish antics that long, life is too short to deal with people like that.
72. Pre-Partum Depression
My high school girlfriend hid a pregnancy from her entire family, gave birth in the back seat of her car, and cut the umbilical cord with a boxcutter from work. She then walked into her parents' house covered in blood, half-naked, and carrying a baby. Her mom freaked entirely out. Then she made me raise the baby for two months before a DNA test showed it wasn't mine.
73. Second in Command
Phone dinged, I checked it, (same phones no case both charging next to each other.) The text said, "I miss you too" and was from a girl my husband was dating when we were briefly separated. Fast forward a few months to when he deploys. Check his email because at this point I know something is up. I find emails, so I contact the mistress.
She was very transparent with me and told me that basically, they were dating before he even met me, which means he courted me, asked me to marry him, married me then we had a child together all while he was still seeing her. We separate for a year, he dates her exclusively, we get back together, and he maintains a relationship with her. All of this without me knowing.
I found this all out while I was a month away from birthing his second child and he's getting shot at in Afghanistan. We decide to work through it, but I never could get over the fact that he cheated on me for four years and had no problem hiding it from me, and only came clean because I found out, as in, he had no intention of coming clean. When he returned home he confessed to many other times with other people (thank GOD I never got an STD).
After three subsequent years of him refusing to go to counselling so that we can ACTUALLY deal with it, he tells me he wants a divorce (a month before we are supposed to get a permanent change of station to Alaska). Moved back home with the kids, filed for divorce and life is amazingly better now. Screw that guy! (Though I am appreciative that he loves our kids).
74. Full of Himself
I have a friend like this. She habitually dated bad dudes and now she’s married to one of them. He constantly has to one-up every person he encounters and brag about how he’s better than everyone at everything (the best dancer, the best writer, the best addict, the most people visited him at the hospital, etc).
The guy’s got four cardboard cutouts of himself in his house. He made his own CD about how to be a businessman and gives everyone unwanted signed copies. Meanwhile, he doesn’t have a job. He compares her to all his old girlfriends constantly in front of her friends and family and constantly puts her down. None of us in the friend group want to hang out with her anymore because he just polices the situation and insults us.
75. Breaking the Golden Rule
I learned my girlfriend was cheating on me when I stopped by her house on the way to work. Even worse, I was there to drop off flowers on her doorstep as a surprise. That's when I saw my “friend’s” car parked out front. This was at 5 in the morning. Oh but it gets worse. My “friend” was married with a pregnant wife at the time.
76. Don’t Trust Charlie
He lied about his last name, age, degree, being in the military and being a sex offender. I only figured out the lie about the degree and broke it off. Then he started stalking me and I figured out everything else. I don't know if he figured out that I know everything else. We live in a relatively small town and a girl was about to meet up with him so I warned her.
He is still lying about his age. You're not 29 Charlie, you're 42 and screw you!
77. Hard to Bring an Abusive Ex up in Conversation
Ex-girl. She had a fairly large scar on her back and was incredibly self-conscious about it. She wouldn't even take her shirt off the first time we had sex. When I asked her about it, she said she had fallen from her horse when she was young. Fast forward a little and I'm out finding her a birthday present and have enlisted the help of her friend.
I pick out a sexy singlet and her friend just looks at me like I'm stupid. Apparently the scar on her back, which the singlet clearly revealed, wasn't from a fall, but an abusive ex-boyfriend who had pushed her onto his motorbike’s exhaust pipe and burnt her. We ended on good terms, and I never told her I knew. I hope she is doing well.
78. Status: It’s Not That Complicated
Literally five hours after we broke up he updated his Facebook relationship status to "engaged" to a girl who I thought he was just friends with. She uploaded a photo showing off the ring with the caption "he finally asked, and I said yes!"
79. It Was a Happy Divorce
Before my ex-wife and I had first split up, I had found out she was hiding a storage unit with an entire apartment set aside in it, just in case the breakup went bad. She worked graveyard, and I was using her laptop while watching The Walking Dead to use the story sync. And because she uses all Apple products, her iMessage was tied to her MacBook. I don't normally read her messages, but considering the amount of notifications that were chiming in, I could tell she was having a rather lengthy conversation.
I opened it and started reading and it turns out she had sent a picture message of a fully packed storage unit to her best friend out in South Carolina. It had furniture, appliances, essentially everything she needed to start out with an apartment on her own. I sat on that for several months, before finally bringing it up out of nowhere.
We were literally sitting on the couch one night and I just turned to her and said, "so I know about your storage unit." It was the last thing she ever expected to hear because she thought she was being sneaky. Conversation actually went quite well though, and we ended up deciding that we were going to file for divorce. That divorce just finalized March 3rd of this year.
80. It Was Game Over After Star Trek Was Mentioned
Yeah, my dad was a "dancer" when he was younger, and thinks my mom doesn't know. She was at one of his shows before they met. If it helps, my mom later saw his dating ad in the paper the week after. She was going to follow-through with a different person's ad until a mutual friend forced her. A dating ad is when, back in ye olden days, guys would post a picture of themselves with information as an ad in the newspaper of the town they are in.
Once my dad mentioned that he liked Star Trek, the gears started turning.
81. That’s Some Family Drama Right There
So this is slightly different from the actual question, but I have a feeling I will never find a better place to tell this, so here goes.
My grandmother got remarried when my dad was in middle school after divorcing my bio grandfather, this was in the late 70s. Anyway, StepGrandpa (SG) was a "cool dad" for a while, at least up until my dad and his older brother got into college. After that he started going off the emotional deep end (read: angry and borderline abusive). For a long time, both SG and grandma were in the (redacted for privacy) business. My dad and uncle both became attorneys and went to work at what was now the family company.
Anyway, many years later, my dad and uncle are no longer working with SG and grandma, and my mother manages most of the company. One day, a business associate quietly pulls my mother aside and says that they saw SG in public with a much younger man. She tells my father, who does some digging around and makes a crazy discovery. They find out he had used company funds to buy cars, apartments, etc. for multiple 20-something men (he was in his early seventies). They are understandably shocked, and they all go over to my grandma's house when SG is not there to break it to her.
Her response? "Oh yeah, I've known that for years."
She had suspected he was gay before they were married, but nobody talked about that sort of thing at the time or in her family. She knew about the affairs, and she had a public health worker come to her front door to inform her he had HIV, and give her a test as well. She declined to tell anyone this for close to fifteen years. Anyway, they managed to convince her to divorce him, which took ages and ages. So, that's probably the worst secret that's ever been kept in my family.
82. The Key to Your Heart
When I was in college, a guy took interest in me and later that week, he gave me a present: a working key to my front door.
Apparently, he was a locksmith and had somehow memorized the pattern on my house key when I left them on my desk. I had to change the locks on my house.
83. Only One of Us Here Matters, Clearly
When I told my boyfriend that I had just found out my mom was leaving my dad for someone else, and he started complaining about his day at work.
84. Casper the Ghost
I dated a guy I worked with at a restaurant. He was a bartender and I was a server. We'd hooked up after a few months of heavy flirting. It was extremely casual (I thought) and only went on for a few weeks. Then, for reasons unknown but likely mundane, he decided to call it quits, but his method for doing this was to "ghost" me, as in to quit responding and otherwise acknowledging that I exist.
Now, that is doable when you communicate mostly by phone/email to get together, but WE WORKED TOGETHER, on the same shift! So this ghosting would result in bizarre instances where he would work service bar, I would ring up drinks for my tables, and he would stand there and act like I didn't exist, standing there right in front of him and asking him to make the drinks I rang up, which he wouldn't do because that would break the illusion that I didn't exist.
This inexplicable behavior went on for weeks. Someone must have finally asked him why he was acting so weird, because after several weeks he finally sat me down and gave me this overly wordy apology about how he hoped I wasn't too crushed and heartbroken, but he didn't see us working out. I informed him that I was never heartbroken as our time together was never very serious. He seemed let down at my lack of pining away for our lost love.
Anyway, literally a week after that conversation, I met and started dating the man who would eventually be my husband. The girl the previous guy liked dated him briefly, then ghosted him (and quit too, so it was actual ghosting, not pretend) so he tried to revive our heavy flirting routine to no avail. (Eye roll). We were all grown adults in our late 20s at the time, it was just bizarre.
85. Close the Door Next Time
My girlfriend's roommate was nice enough to tip me off and tell me to break up with her ASAP. Apparently, she was going to wait to dump me until after her birthday, so she could still get a gift. So manipulative.
86. Let’s See Other Patients
She cheated on me with five different women in 10 days. Whilst I was in the hospital. Having brain surgery. She dumped me two days after I came out of hospital, while at her parents' house, on Christmas Day.
87. A Match Made in Malpractice
I was in the hospital and he came to visit. It seemed like a really kind gesture at first—but it quickly became a total nightmare. First, he yelled at my doctor because my exam was “too intimate.” He couldn’t handle that my doctor was a man, but then he laughed at the idea of a female doctor. Then he told the doctor I didn’t need pain meds, even though I was in total agony. Then, when I finally asked for them, he yelled at me for being weak and putting poisons in my body. He stormed out of there and left me stranded. Honestly, good riddance. I hope he crashed that piece of junk motorcycle he planned on using to take me home.
88. Put a Ring On It
I called her at work and their receptionist asked, "Is this her boyfriend, Dave?"
"No... it's her fiancé."
I'd had suspicions for a few months before that but this was the clincher.
89. Cheaters Never Prosper
I knew my ex wife was cheating but didn’t tell her that I knew. Took her out for a dinner date and I casually asked questions about who she had been spending time with while I was at sea, she barely worked so she had to spend her time doing something. She failed to mention the guy that had been staying at my house for nearly two months.
This was the same guy she had to call the cops on just to get to leave because I was coming home in two days... soooo I slid her a copy of the police report that was filed for the incident and watched as she crumbled over the fact she had been caught, and I didn’t have to say a word.
90. So Much for the Language of Love
My friend seemed to have it all. But there was one problem: No matter what he said, his beautiful French wife refused to speak English when her family was over. Instead, they would just speak in French the entire time while he sat by, not understanding a word. He started to get suspicious, so he recorded their conversation and got it translated—that tape was absolutely heartbreaking. The entire family was insulting him whenever they came over. It was absolutely brutal.”
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