October 17, 2019 | Casey Fletcher

People Explain What They Strongly Suspect But Have No Proof Of


Have you ever felt like there's something more to what's in front of you? Maybe you can't put your finger on it, but you know that there's something else going on behind the scenes. Or maybe you've figured out exactly what someone is hiding—you just have no proof. So you go back and forth, back and forth, wondering if your sneaking suspicion is the result of your sharp intuition or just plain paranoia. From conspiracy theories to harrowing family secrets, these people reveal what they strongly suspect to be true but have no proof of.

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#1 Brother, I Am Your Father

That my oldest brother is actually my biological father. It just makes no sense to me otherwise. I have a cleft chin and no one else in my family does. My older brother is just a big mess all around. He would bring different women to my parent's house every day. It makes no sense to me that he came out of that with zero children.

It makes less sense since he's 20 years older than me, which means my parents would have had me at a dangerously old age. I once told my mom that I had a dream that they told me my brother was really my father. She got super mad and refused to even discuss or acknowledge my dream. Super weird.

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#2 Ageless Lizzie

Queen Elizabeth will probably live up to 120 years and longer. She is one of the best-fed and most-cared-for people on Earth. If we invented something for immortality, she likely took it already.

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#3 This Makes Sense

The Kardashians usually wear solid-colored clothing because it’s easier for them to photoshop

#4 A Secret Life

I think my great-great uncle was gay, but he lived in a time where he had to hide that part of himself. He never had a wife or kids. He traveled a lot and was very into art. I asked my grandma a while back if she thought he was gay and she said he just wasn't interested in having girlfriends.

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#5 Who's Out There?

That the universe is teeming with life. Earth just can't be that special. I'm very familiar with the Drake equation (probabilistic argument used to estimate the number of extraterrestrial civilizations in the Milky Way galaxy) and the Fermi paradox (there should be 100000 intelligent alien civilizations in our galaxy — so why haven't we found any of them?) and my favorite answer to the Fermi paradox is that we're just not that interesting. Life on Earth is an anthill in a grassy area in the corner of an enormous city.

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#6 This Seems Right

That my English teacher didn't read essays and just based grades on how we acted in class.

#7 King William

Prince Charles will never sit on the throne. I believe he made a deal with Queen Elizabeth that, in exchange for being allowed to marry Camilla, he gave up his right to sit on the throne. Prince William will sit on the throne when Queen Elizabeth dies.

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#8 Upselling

Woman's clothes have either no pockets or crumby pockets to promote handbag sales.

#9 Bigfoot was Real

Bigfoot is actually a cultural memory from humans who migrated from Asia and that’s why there are stories about Yeti and Sasquatch. The actual creature, though, died out tens of thousands of years ago.

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#10 Grandma Was a Criminal

I believe my grandmother was a serious criminal. She was married seven times; each ending in a sudden death. She died in the 1980s but everything is still suspicious and no one seems to know anything. I did find an article about her when she came to the U.S., where her first husband died defending her after her ex-boyfriend climbed through her window in New York City. I also found evidence of her having been in prison before coming to the U.S.

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#11 Where Are My Socks?

That my wife is throwing one of each pair of socks away.

#12 The Megalodon

Thirty-five to forty-foot sharks exist. They have the whole ocean to hide in (which we are terrible at exploring) and they have learned to avoid contact with humans. They come close to land occasionally to hunt when food is scarce, then go back to the deep ocean. There is some evidence out there to support this theory, but it's all sketchy.

#13 We're Cavemen!

That humanity still has the same base desires it has had throughout all of time, but society is built to keep us from being the barbarians we once were and it is a very tenuous relationship.

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#14 Sneaky Lady Liberty

The Statue of Liberty switches hands when nobody is looking.

#15 Why Am I Here?

I work for a call center for the marketplace in the U.S. There was no interview, barely any training, a super-high turnover rate and super-low morale. None of their decisions make sense. The entire operation almost feels like it's trying to work as poorly as possible so that everyone hates it.

#16 Life Is the Powerhouse of the Universe

That the purpose of life in the universe is purely to create a new universe. To me, this is the only way for any life to ensure it's survival forever. And I'm not talking about just human life, I think the chances of us surviving are super slim. Consider this: We can safely assume that every problem life will ever encounter will have a solution. Given a species has enough resources to exploit any resources it wants, luck is on their side, then the only limiting factor to life-solving a problem is time.

In the universe, time is not infinite. There will be a time where the very atoms in the universe start to decay. This is life's final deadline. If life in its varying forms cannot find a way to escape the universe before this happens, life in the universe will die forever. And how does one escape a universe while being inside a dying universe? You must perform the genesis of a new one, or perhaps several new ones. This is the ultimate problem to solve because the universe makes it so. So if the Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell. Life is the powerhouse of the universe.

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#17 Clockwork Orange

Those who have power subtly control the population openly. The population doesn't realize they're being controlled.

#18 A Suspicious Purchase

That some Canadian guy who owns an antique shop that I bought a camera from in April recognized me. He acted flustered when I came in and I came back the next day to make my purchase. He sold me the camera for what I thought was a reasonable price and he even threw in an owner's manual in near perfect condition. A quick Google search revealed that it's an extremely rare camera that was only produced for two years.

One in ever thousand still in existence are operational and one out of every 1000 working ones still has a certain part (mine does). This guy's whole shop was based around antique cameras. My dad talked shop with him for a while and he even explained to me how to find film or modify some for my camera. He knew what he was selling me and lost a LOT of money on the transaction. I even got it appraised to confirm my suspicions about what it was.

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#19 Fake News

I think my local newspaper and news stations make up fake Facebook profiles to post inflammatory statements in the comment sections of their news releases. There are frequent commenters whose profiles have a basic name, no friends, basic profile information, and only one profile picture. Of course, these are the people who will make some outlandish comment that starts a war.

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#20 You Can't Afford That

More than half of people who buy expensive luxury cars (BMWs, Audi, etc.) can't actually afford them. They're just trying to hold onto the image that they are rich.

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#21 An Incredible Past

Our ancient human history is far more vast and impressive than we can even begin to imagine.

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#22 Everyone, Move Out!

Something bad is about to happen in my city. I see a lot of mansions and houses with great locations for sale. I think the rich people in my city know something that the rest of us don't. We have a petrochimestry, so maybe it's something to do with that.

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#23 Meow, Meow

Cats can understand our words but do not care. They're waiting for a moment to speak, but since we are so far beneath them it hasn't happened yet.

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#24 She Knows

That my five-month-old knows exactly when I’m about to fall asleep and starts crying just to mess with me.

#25 Making a Mess

Construction companies make the roads impossible to navigate on purpose. Pretty much every major road in my town is under construction and they always leave the road in worse condition than it was originally. It has to be intentional.

#26 No Winners

Only about 10% of lottery winners actually win those huge Powerballs. Of course, someone has to win at some point otherwise people would get suspicious. But honestly, who would know if there was no real winner? Since the chances are so small, nobody gets suspicious if their ticket doesn’t win. It's basically free money for the state to use. Not to mention the states that allow you to remain anonymous.

#27 I'll Have Water, Please

That the ginger ale at this diner I go to every day is just coke and sprite mixed together.

#28 We're Not The First

I suspect that life here is the result of biological contamination from explorers here eons ago. Do you know how we recently spilled a bunch of tardigrades on the moon? I figure in 1000 years, we'll be gone without a trace. In 10 million years, those water bears may start or be on their way to developing into something more. And years and years down the line, they'll wonder what the origin of life on the moon is. I imagine we arose much in the same way.

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#29 Give Us More Scents!

That Bath and Body Works has like, 13 unique scents. Every couple of months they just rotate the scents in and call them something else.

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#30 Paper Straws Lead To Anti-Environmentalists

Oil company lobbyists are behind the whole paper straws thing. The waste from straws is so inconsequential, but yet almost overnight, half the restaurants in the world switched to these horrible paper straws that leave a weird residue in your mouth and disintegrate before you're done with your drink. I feel like this was someone's sinister idea to make the general public resent environmentalists, and it's working, because those paper straws always seem to strike up a conversation about how global warming didn't wind up being as big of a deal as Al Gore said it would be.

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#31 A Sixth Sense

My dog sees supernatural events at our house.

#32 Privacy No More

Two hundred years from now, historians will be able to look at all of the private messages and data of people who are living right now. It would be similar to how we can read the private letters of people from the 1700s.

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#33 Where Did My Dog Go?

That my wife's dog did actually go to live on a farm. The farmer was the breeder and she saw the dog numerous times over the subsequent years. Her little sister, however, found out just a year or so ago and totally thought they had the dog put down.

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#34 Cash Flow

The uber algorithm rewards new drivers to give them a good first impression regarding how much money they can make in the first few weeks.

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#35 Working Hard or Hardly Working?

That only about 20% of people actually do any work. The rest just get by looking busy.

#36 My Cat Can Talk

I suspect that my cat understands much of what I say to him. He listens attentively with his ears cocked in my direction, making intense eye contact with his deep-green, intelligent-looking eyes. The way he responds (with a specific litany of "meows") confirms my theory that he "gets the gist" of what I'm saying.

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#37 That A Minor Tastes Like Chicken!

That my old orchestra teacher does, or has at least done, serious drugs. His age lines up (he would have been 19 when Woodstock happened) and he's admitted to being a bit of a hippie back in the day. He was originally a chemistry major in college and—get this—he describes sounds with colors and flavors. Yes, you read that correctly. He describes sounds with FLAVORS.

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#38 Dad's Secret Life

That my father was in a super-secret sector of the military during his service in the Vietnam war. Unfortunately, he passed away two years ago so I'll probably never know what he really did.

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#39 Where's the Wombat?

Some zoos have empty exhibits and just claim the animal is in there, you just never see them. In reality, the animal has never even been at that zoo. It's all a farce.

#40 No Press is Bad Press

All the "bad press" incidents that happen to these big companies are actually staged by the big company themselves as a form of advertising. Remember the "Starbucks Christmas cup" one? They had holiday designs on their cups and then took it off? Everyone went mad about it. But here's the end result: You couldn't go on Facebook for a week without seeing the Starbucks logo everywhere. Some local papers and news sites even talked about it. And how about when Nike was going to make that flag shoe, and then, supposedly, Kapernick had the whole thing called off? What was the result? Again, they were everywhere on social media and news for a week. The Nike logo was everywhere.

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#41 Secret Agent Aunt Karen

That a relative is a CIA agent. She was in the Peace Corps during the Vietnam era. Ever since, she's been a "world traveler," somehow able to drop her work and "go hiking the Spanish version of the Appalachian Trail" or go to exotic locations. Sometimes, she comes back with injuries and uses excuses like, "I fell as we were climbing some rocks." Her son is in the agency as an employee, not a spy, and he's married to a CIA translator.

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#42 They're All Working Together

That a lot of businesses in my hometown are just money laundering operations. Twenty-five nail salons in a town of 70,000? A three thousand square foot DVD rental shop in the best block of downtown, where commercial rents are very high? Dozens of $10 barbershops sitting empty all day, but still remaining open? Red flags all around.

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#43 Something Seems Fishy

There's one company in a town close to me that boards up damaged shop windows. Nobody else in the area seems to do it. This one company fixes every single window, door and abandoned shop. They've got a ridiculous sized HQ and have put a decent amount of money towards fixing up other buildings in the area. So, I've got a theory that they're the ones doing the damage. Or at least paying people to do it. And then, obviously, they get the job of fixing it up. Despite having no proof of this I am 100 percent confident I am onto them.

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#44 Oh My, Grandma!

That my grandmother had a secret child before she married my grandfather. When my grandparents met and started dating, my grandma was only 13. My grandpa was 20. They married when she was 17 and he was 24, right after he came back from serving in WWII. That was about as much of the story as anyone in my family ever knew: they'd been dating, then he went overseas, and she wrote to him while he was gone. When he got back, they got married.

A few years after my grandma died, my grandfather suddenly mentioned that they had actually broken up for a while before she started writing to him. After they'd dated for about a year, he went to pick her up at her house one day only to find she wasn't home. Her parents informed him that she'd left to live with some cousins a few hours away, and she'd be gone for "about a year." He got upset that she hadn't told him about this in advance and ended the relationship.

When another year-ish had passed and she returned home to her parents, she started writing him overseas and apologized, and they started "dating" again. My grandpa told this story very blandly and seemed to believe that the situation was what it said on the tin, but of course, in the 1940s-1960s, it was quite common for teenage girls to "go live with relatives for a year" as a code for having an out-of-wedlock pregnancy.

I've done commercial DNA testing, so I'm on the lookout for someone to turn up as a sibling match to my mom someday. The only other explanation for my grandma suddenly leaving town would be if her parents didn't approve her relationship with my grandpa, but from everything that I know of them, they were perfectly fine with their 13-year-old daughter dating a guy in his 20s.

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#45 It's Not Funny!

Dentists ask you questions with all that stuff in your mouth because they think it's funny to watch you struggle.


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